| Subject: Maggie's farm (Part 18) |
Author:
taxi driver
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Date Posted: 18:59:48 07/22/03 Tue
I thought I had already made up my mind on my way back to HK. On the bus, I wrote a letter to Maggie:
" My Dearest Maggie:
How's thing going at home? Did you have a happy Chinese New Year?
I miss you so much, Maggie, I actually miss you as soon as you walked into the departure lounge the day you left.
There's something I want to tell you and I hope it would not hurt you so much.
You once said that getting to know me is like peeling an onion. When you peel off one layer there's another one, you never know how many layers there will be in the onion. And peeling onion always brings tears to your eyes.
I didn't know how to answer your question at that time, but now I can tell you that when you get to the center of an onion, you will find that the layers are the onion and there is no center.
Maggie, please don't waste your time trying to get to know me anymore because I do not deserve your love and care. I am not a good person as you always think.
I have never stopped seeing Iris since she came back to DG.
I have never stopped loving Iris since I met you.
Maggie, I am not going to Canada as I told you before. Actually, I will be going to Chongqing tomorrow to help her starting a business. I don't intend to lie to you. But would you go back to your hometown if I tell you the truth?
I made a promise to myself a long time ago. I promised I'd never fall in love; love causes too much pain, too much heartbreak. I didn't feel like I was strong enough to handle any more pain in my life. And for a long time I kept my promise, but then I met you. My feelings for you overwhelmed me at first, actually they still do, so I tried to ignore them, but I couldn’t.
And then I tried to hate you, but I couldn't. I still can't. I couldn't because a part of me will always love you, no matter what happens. I wish I could ask you to come back to me, but I can't. I can't do that because I don't want to hurt you anymore. I don’t want to see you cry one more time.
You'd be disappointed if you found out I met a girl named Vanessa and I made love with her the night you arrived home, wouldn't you?
I hope that you'll look back on our time together with no regret. I hope you'll always remember the wonderful time we've spent together.
Maggie, try finding another boyfriend who would love you more than you love him in your hometown. Please don't come back to GD and do what you've done before. You're still young to start your life all over again.
Wish you had a happy life in your hometown! If you need any help, please don't hesitate to ask me.
Love
Driver”
Nevertheless, the letter had never been sent.
Instead I wrote another love letter to tell her how much I miss her and how much I love her. Upon arrival, I sent the letter to a friend in Canada and ask him to send it to Maggie from there.
The day before I go to Chongqing, I was lost. All lost than before.
To be continued…
I thought I had already made up my mind on my way back to HK. On the bus, I wrote a letter to Maggie:
“ My Dearest Maggie:
How’s thing going at home? Did you have a happy Chinese New Year?
I miss you so much, Maggie. I actually miss you as soon as you walked into the departure lounge the day you left.
There’s something I want to tell you and I hope it would not hurt you so much.
You once said that getting to know me is like peeling a large onion. When you peel off one layer there’s another one, you never know how many layers there will be in the onion. And peeling onion always brings tears to your eyes.
I didn’t know how to answer your question at that time, but now I can tell you that when you get to the center of an onion, you will find that the layers are the onion and there is no center.
Maggie, please don’t waste your time trying to get to know me anymore because I do not deserve your love and care. I am not a good person as you always think.
I have never stopped seeing Iris since she came back to DG.
I have never stopped loving Iris since I met you.
Maggie, I am not going to Canada as I told you before. Actually, I will be going to Chongqing tomorrow to help her starting a business. I don’t intend to lie to you. But would you go back to your hometown if I tell you the truth?
I made a promise to myself a long time ago. I promised I’d never fall in love; love causes too much pain, too much heartbreak. I didn’t feel like I was strong enough to handle any more pain in my life. And for a long time I kept my promise, but then I met you. My feelings for you overwhelmed me at first, actually they still do, so I tried to ignore them, but I couldn’t.
And then I tried to hate you, but I couldn’t. I still can’t. I couldn’t because a part of me will always love you, no matter what happens. I wish I could ask you to come back to me, but I can’t. I can’t do that because I don’t want to hurt you anymore. I don’t want to see you cry anymore.
You’d be disappointed if you found out I met a girl named Vanessa and I made love with her the night you arrived home, wouldn’t you?
I hope that you’ll look back on our time together with no regret. I hope you’ll always remember the wonderful time we’ve spent together.
Maggie, try finding another boyfriend in your hometown that loves you more than you love him. Please don’t come back to GD and do what you’ve done before. You’re still young to start your all over life again.
Wish you had a happy life in your hometown. If you need any help, please don’t hesitate to ask me.
Love
Driver”
Nevertheless, the letter had never been sent.
Instead I wrote another love letter to tell her how much I miss her and how much I love her. Upon arrival, I sent the letter to a friend in Canada and ask him to send it to Maggie from there.
The day before I go to Chongqing, I was lost. All lost than before.
To be continued…
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