| Subject: Maggie's farm (Part 27) |
Author:
taxi driver
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Date Posted: 17:11:38 09/30/03 Tue
Still in the sleepy haze, I rolled over toward Maggie's side of the bed and found her snoring like a pig. I looked at the alarm clock on the bedside table. It said 7:30 a.m. I got out of bed and headed for the bathroom. She was awake when I returned to the bedroom. Her hands were interlaced behind her head; her eyes locked on the ceiling. She said nothing.
"Maggie, is something wrong?”I asked.
No answer.
"What is the matter, Maggie?”I raised my voice a bit.
She folded her arms across her chest, rubbing her bare arms to keep warm.“I can’t do this anymore,” she said finally.
"Do what anymore?”I wondered.
"Keep up this charade,”she replied.
"What are you talking about? Tell me what the problem is,” I patted her shoulder.
"What?”I was starting to get impatient with her. "I am not in the mood to play game.”
"But that's exactly what we are doing. Playing game. We are in a game of cat and mouse,”she said weakly.
"How? How are we playing game,”I asked.
"I am not who you think I am. And you're not the person I believe you to be,”her voice trembled.
"I am afraid I don't understand,”I sat beside her.
She began to cry and bowed her head, her eyes fixed on her knees.
"I..I have..”she was interrupted by her sobs.
"Stop crying. You know I can't stand that. Either stop crying and tell me what the fuck is bothering you or shut up so I can get some more sleep,”I said roughly.
"You asshole. You fucking asshole. Don't you get it? This, this arrangement or whatever you want to call what we are isn't what I want. I'm not content being your little slut, ready to fuck whenever the mood strikes you. I am not some whore in it for a good time,”she was yelling now. “I was hoping that someday we would have a real relationship. I spent half a year hoping and praying that you would reciprocate the feeling I had developed for you. You never got it, you just never got it,”she shook her head, still crying a little.
"I don't know what to say,”I cleared my throat.
"Of course you don't. You certainly are not going to say, Maggie, I want a serious relationship with you. One that could possible turn into forever,”she stopped crying.
"Don't make it sound like I don't have feelings for you at all. I just thought the status quo was fine, that's all,” I said.
"What! You think that I am stupid!”she threw her head back and laughed. "Look what I have found.”She took out my Return Permit for Hong Kong and Macau Compatriot from the drawer of the bedside table, and shown me the page that had the date of entry stamp from Chongqing Immigration Dept on it.
I remained silent. There was nothing I could say.
To be continued.....
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