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Date Posted: 19:29:01 10/31/05 Mon
Author: JBone - posting someone elses funny Halloween stuff
Subject: Dear Halloween Person:
In reply to: Jay 's message, "FREE Serenity mini-movie poster!" on 18:32:02 10/29/05 Sat

What do you do when you love someone so much that it makes you want to kill them? I send them a card.
Happy Halloween.
Gordon

Dear Religious Halloween observer,
Want a Halloween treat? Look me right in the eye and you'll meet God.
Gordon

Hey Goat head,
Roses are red, violets are blue, if you try to protect your backside, I'll do it there too.
Gordon

Hey there ghoul spooky,
It's Halloween. Time to be thankful for what you have. A healthy body, and safe happy home. Author's note: You will lose one or both of them tonight. Be prepared. I work fast.
Gordon

Hey there end of October person,
Some people think nothing says Halloween like a tastefully carved Jack o lantern. But I think nothing says Happy Halloween like a tastefully carved opening in your diaphragm. Breathe deeply and feel my love.
Gordon Keith

I'm stealing all of these from G Keith at http://www.gordonkeith.com/

Dear costumed Fall friend,
What do you plan on doing when the clock strikes midnight? Me? I will be trying to hold the gun steady as I watch you cry and unconvincingly make love to your best friend.
Gordon

Dear Witchy Woman,
They say it is bad luck if a black cat crosses your path. But I say it is bad luck that you moved into my neighborhood. Get ready to become a statistic.
Gordon

Hello plastic spider ring wearer,
Some people see a graveyard as a peaceful repository of former people. I see it as a promising collection of future lovers.
Lend me your shovel.
Gordon

Dear Mummy scare scare,
Instead of saying "trick or treat," I like to say "gunshot or strangulation�"
Gordon
PS. Choose wisely.

Dear October 31st werewolf,
What is the difference between this Halloween and Labor Day? You lived through Labor Day.
Gordon

Hello Spooky Apparition,
What do you think is scarier, a witch or my sweating PCP fueled body working on top of you? Don't talk, I'm almost there.
Gordon

Dear Accommodating Halloween aquaintance,
Mind if I come over tonight after trick or treating? I'll need some place to wash off all the blood.
Gordon
PS. Buy soap

Dear Goblin Ghoul,
Halloween comes but once a year. Me? More often. Bring a towel.
Gordon Keith

This guy is pretty funny. One more Halloween link.

http://www.quickdfw.com/columnists/gkeith/stories/DN-pg3--gordoncolumn_27ick.ART.State.Edition1.c56db4e.html

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