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Date Posted: 08:21:21 01/27/06 Fri
Author: OnM
Subject: Never say always
In reply to: Sunshine 's message, "My absolutely last comment of this subject (I promise)" on 15:00:29 01/26/06 Thu

*** I just wish SMG could acknowledge just how special Buffy was. ***

Actually, I think she's all too well aware of just exactly that, and that thought is possibly frightening to her.

This relates to what I mentioned previously, about how it would feel to think that you are "washed up" before you are even 30. My point there wasn't to imply that SMG's best years are already behind her, but that if she concentrates too much on her work in BtVS, she may consciously or subconsciously think that "This is it-- my best work is behind me now. No matter what I do in the future, everybody will judge it according to what I did in the past."

Trust me, this is a terrible fate to contemplate if you consider yourself any kind of an artist, even a modestly talented one. When I was in my late teens and early-to-mid 20's I played abound with photography a bit, and hung out with a few friends who were photographers. They said my work was pretty good, and that it was worthwhile to pursue it.

For various reasons in my late 20's I drifted away from it (mostly work and lack of time related). In my late 30's and early 40's I tried to get back into it and was profoundly distressed to find that the muse had taken what seemed to be a permanent vacation. My photos were consistantly bland and even technically incompetant at times. I then gave up and dropped the hobby for over a decade, because if I couldn't do what I did before, then what was the point?

Last fall, I went on vacation down at the Maryland shore and decided to take my camera along. I shot about three rolls (yes, this is film, not digital) at a variety of locations, maybe 75 shots in total.

When the results came back, about 1/3 of the shots were decent. About 10 to 12 of them were genuinely excellent. (For you non-photographer types, be aware that a yield this high is exceptional. If there had been maybe three truly excellent shots out of 75, that's just great.) I was astonished-- the muse was back, and I'm hoping to do some more work at times this year.

But it was mostly a fluke that I took the camera along at all-- I was already predisposed to assume that any shots I took were going to be as lifeless as before, and that the camera would then go back on the shelf for another few decades, maybe indefinitely.

So there you are. Who knows what lurks in the hearts of actors? My shadow doesn't.

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