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Subject: Observations from a Parent


Author:
Relo from StL
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Date Posted: 04:23:00 06/19/01 Tue

I've never had the privilege, these are for those who have ...
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- A baby usually wakes up in the wee-wee hours of the morning.

- A child will not spill on a dirty floor.

- A young child is a noise with dirt on it.

- A youth becomes a man when the marks he wants to leave on the world have nothing to do with tires.

- An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

- Avenge yourself; live long enough to be a problem to your children.

- Be nice to your kids, for it is they who will choose your nursing home.

- God invented mothers because he couldn't be everywhere at once.

- Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.

- Having children will turn you into your parents.

- If a child looks like his father, that's heredity; if he looks like a neighbor, that's environment.

- If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable.

- It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his father.

- It rarely occurs to teenagers that the day will come when they'll know as little as their parents.

- Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

- Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

- One child is often not enough, but two children can be far too many.

- You can learn many things from children... like how much patience you have.

- Summer vacation is a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid.

- The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.

- There would be fewer problems with children if they had to chop wood to keep the television set going.

- Those who say they "sleep like a baby" haven't got one.

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