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| Subject: Buy African grey Parrots | |
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| Subject: order quality cannabis products underground | |
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| Subject: Buy Passport,Driver License,Visas.Buy Undetected Counterfeit Money, WhatsApp: +27639356786 | |
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| Subject: Ssd Chemical Solution for Cleaning Black Notes world wide. | |
Author: Jonathan (Ssd Chemical.) [ Edit | View ] |
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| Subject: LITERARY EXPLOSIONS | |
Author: Christopher Antony Meade (Laughing a lot) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 03:51:37 02/19/18 Mon ***LITERARY EXPLOSIONS*** The satirical books of the notorious Christopher Antony Meade. Books to make you think as well as laugh. https://goo.gl/LZMpyC [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: THE START OF A BEAUTIFUL RELATIONSHIP | |
Author: Christopher Antony Meade (Laughing a lot) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 06:32:15 09/04/14 Thu I’d been round the block a few times and I knew what a wedding ring meant. That little band of gold on the left hand told me that my, ever so attractive, new employer was a married man. He was just so polite and considerate to me that I found myself becoming over fond of him, against all my better judgement. The last person, I had lived with, had been very cruel. While we had lived together for five years, there was no real affection in the relationship and I was glad when a speeding bus had dissolved that unloving partnership by running over my un-loving “other half”. That’s how I came to be in the refuge. There was just nowhere else for me to go. I couldn’t stay on in the house on my own and my dead ex’s children had no interest in seeing I was well looked after. They only wanted to sell the house and having me hanging around, like a wraith after a funeral, was considered not to be an aid to a speedy sale. So accordingly, unloved and unloving, I ended up miserably in the refuge. I suppose I was there about three weeks, when I was put into the back of a van and transported to an office block near the centre of the city. I knew I was going to a new situation, as I had overheard the wardens talking about me, before putting me in the vehicle. My fervent wish was that the new place would be better than the old. It could scarcely be any worse. It did indeed prove to be a very pleasant surprise. The office was on the ground floor and there was a large enclosed garden at the back. I was given to understand, that my range extended all around the office and included the garden. This was likely to be a much better situation than my previous one. There was even a large sofa in one corner. It would make a perfect nest, for me to rest in after my duties were done. Then I heard him calling me. “What name shall I give you” he said. “I think Aphrodite, after the goddess of love, would be an appropriate name for such a lovely creature”. His voice sounded so loving and kind, that I found myself falling in love with him almost immediately. For this man, no service would be too much. Even the sight of the ring on the hand, with which he affectionately stroked the nape of my neck, did not give pause to my ardour. What if he was married? His wife would scarcely be jealous of the new office cat. I purred contentedly, under the loving strokes of my new “boss”, while awaiting my chance to jump on the, ever so inviting, sofa. If you enjoyed that, you are bound to enjoy this very funny ebook. “The Zombie, the Cat, and Barack Obama” Critically acclaimed and available from all Amazon sites. http://goo.gl/qjgDAC [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: LEARN ABOUT SEXUALLY STIMULATING HERBS - also herbal sex products | |
Author: Dr Zhivago [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 23:16:05 12/29/13 Sun Please see: http://www.abicana.com/sexual_herbs.htm [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: Does Hollywood Engineer Teen Celebrities | |
Author: Knut Holt [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 23:13:44 12/29/13 Sun Does Hollywood Engineer Teen Celebrities By Knut Holt http://www.abicana.com When looking at celebrities like Britney Spears, Justin Bieber and other similar that were detected by Hollywood managers at an early life, one can observe the following: - They show a ceratin charm but their charm is strictly standardized. - They are nice looking, but seldome real beauties. - They have a vey standard face and body, exceopt that they use to be very slim. - They have a prepubertal body shape, voice and appearance. - They do not show any grat creativity. They might have it, but it is not used at stage. - Their songs and artistic performances look engineered and according to a strict cultural standard. - Their performances seems to be engineered in such a way that they trigger certain simple psychological mechanisms in a young audience. - They generally look and perform as if they are drugged or hypnotized. - They generally look and perform in a way that trigger a certain very controlled and standardizes sexual responce in the autience. This makes it naturlly to question if Hollywood have a practice of engineering young performersin order to use them as a tool to exploit a young audience, and that the engineering is performed this way: - They look for young people that have a cartain talent, have a standard body and face, look moderately well, have a cartain charm, but are not eccelent in any way and generally lack great creativity. - They set them on drugs to postpone their pubertal development so that they look like prepubertal boys or girls many years. - They set them on drugs and hypnotize them to make them behave in a standardized and prepubertal way. - They even let the young person go through surgery in their genitals to stop or reduce their pubertal development and growth. - They engineer simple songs and performances for them with strictlyc ontrolled elements that they know have a psychological hypnotic and attractive impact on a teenage public. - They produce a history of how the artist was detected that may contain some true elements, but that mostly is fictive. - They manage all aspects of their personal life and daily schedule. In some instances it also looks like the parents of a child has sold the child to the Hollywood artist industry to let they engineer a strictly controlled artist of him or her. In those cases it seem that teh child from a very early age is subjected to drugs, surgeries, training and psychological manipulations to produce the engineered artist. Such behavioral engineering is never perfect, and at some stage one must expect the young people to try to brake away from it. This is also exactly what one can see when they get around 18-20 years old. Most of these artists will at some point begin to behave according to their own will, but in a bizzarre way, making people ask if they are psychologically sane, and steadily make embarrassing situations. Knut Holt http://www.mydeltapi.com [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: Brand name PAIN MEDICAMENTS online (Paypal accepted)? | |
Author: Dr Steven (*!* Alert) [ Edit | View ] |
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| Subject: Anne Rice has competition. Brilliant new horror/comedy book | |
Author: Frank Sanello (Creased with laughter and horror.) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 08:01:27 03/11/13 Mon Not since a reporter interviewed a certain Louis about his relationship with a vampire by the name of Lestat has the living dead come so alive as in Christopher Antony Meade's vividly imagined new novella, "The Zombie, the Cat and Barack Obama." Meade takes the reader down a horrific rabbit hole that would have traumatized Alice. During the trip, the author somehow manages to link the myth of flesh-eating zombies to Lewis Carroll's Cheshire Cat, Pres. Obama's ancestry, what the government is hiding at Roswell's Area 51, the actual perpetrators behind the recession and global warming, the Three Little Pigs' intergalactic origins, 12-Step programs, what really went down when Osama bin Laden was killed, and the "real" source of Hitler's anti-Semitism which some readers may find a bit too gallow humorous. A reviewer of Anne Rice's third vampire chronicle, 2002's Queen of the Damned, hailed the author for creating "universes within universes." The same kudos go to the multiple, interconnected universes of the Oval Office, Zombies Anonymous meetings, Buckingham Palace, bin Laden's unlikely fetish and other surprises Meade has created and which I will try not to spoil. WARNING: Skip the next paragraph if you don't want to find out one of the novella's plot twists. Before he's killed, Osama in Howard Hughes mode indulges his yen for school girls in uniform by watching marathon TV screenings of the "St. Trinian's" film series (1954-2007) about a fictional English boarding school for delinquent girls. Osama's behavior out grosses a similar but tamer (!?) scene in the South Park animated feature film where Satan and Saddam Hussein have anal sex in hell. Julian Faversham, the title's zombie, is a gentleman of the old school who happens to be a member of the living dead cohabiting with Meade's alter ego and narrator. The fictional Meade, which a police inspector's report says "claimed to be some sort of a writer, although neither of us had heard of him," unwittingly invites Julian to share his apartment. Faversham pays the "rent" by playing Chopin nocturnes and Mozart sonatas on his music-loving roommate's piano. "The Zombie, the Cat and Barack Obama" follows the style of classic gothic novels but adds modern-day anachronisms that lend the book its unexpected wit. My only disappointment was that Meade hasn't given us more. The Zombie, the Cat and Barack Obama is one of those books that you wish would never end. If you loved "The Zombie, the Cat and Barack Obama," contact Meade and urge him to create a zombie trilogy. Mary Shelley, Bram Stoker and Anne Rice, watch out! There's a new Gothic horror novelist on the scene! Read the complete reviews and sample the hilarious first chapters FREE on AMAZON. United States. http://goo.gl/ckqfk United Kingdom (Amazon UK) http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B009CYBTC8/ref=tag_dpp_yt_edpp_rt#tags You can also buy it from many other online retailers. Priced at less than the cost of a packet of ten cigarettes. -- Frank Sanello, author of "The Knights Templars: God's Warriors, the Devil's Bankers" [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: At home with the Queen at Buckingham Palace | |
Author: Christopher Anton (Convulsed with laughter) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 10:04:17 03/04/13 Mon It can be difficult enough to get to sleep at Buckingham Palace, what with the noise from marching bands rehearsing the latest royal ceremony, not to speak of the myriad of servants trying to do their cleaning jobs around the palace while the Royal Family try to snatch some rest. Somebody is always managing to knock over a Ming vase, or drop some silverware, just when Her Majesty is about to drop off. A maid once trod on the tail of a corgi one night and the startled yelping of the dog made sleep an impossibility for the much tried monarch and her long suffering consort. But all these disturbances were as nothing compared with the shenanigans that occurred the night that President Barack Obama and his wife Michelle stayed overnight in the palace. The snoring of the American First Lady was likened, by those unfortunate enough to hear it that night, to a combination to the drone of a Lancaster bomber allied with the chuffing of an old fashioned steam train. When this cacophony was succeeded by ear-piercing screaming and shouting coming from the suite occupied by the presidential couple, it was more than the elderly royal couple could endure. Her Majesty, accompanied by Prince Philip, stormed down to the guest apartment and hammered on the door. What was causing the disturbance? What awful sight met the eyes of Her Majesty and His Royal Highness when the door was opened? The answer can be found in “The Zombie, the Cat and Barack Obama”, the outrageously irreverent political satire by Christopher Antony Meade. The answers to many other questions of the age, such as, what really happened to Hitler’s body and what embarrassing secret is hidden beneath Barack Obama’s trousers can be found there too. You will probably be surprised and you will definitely be entertained. Read the complete reviews of this insanely funny book and Sample the hilarious first chapters FREE on AMAZON. United States. http://goo.gl/ckqfk United Kingdom (Amazon UK) http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B009CYBTC8/ref=tag_dpp_yt_edpp_rt#tags You can also buy it from many other online retailers. Priced at less than the cost of a packet of ten cigarettes. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: shaun [ Edit | View ] |
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| Subject: Party Entertainers (NC10051) | |
Author: AAMIR [ Edit | View ] |
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| Subject: Assignment 1: NUSH ONLINE (NC10408) | |
Author: sdg (sdk) [ Edit | View ] |
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| Subject: NUSH ONLINE (NC11716) | |
Author: arsalan (happy) [ Edit | View ] |
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| Subject: NUSH ONLINE (NC10046) | |
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| Subject: NUSH ONLINE (NC10051) | |
Author: ANUS [ Edit | View ] |
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| Subject: NUSH ONLINE (NC10041) | |
Author: shaun [ Edit | View ] |
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| Subject: Buy and sel vehicles (NC10408) | |
Author: fgd (ewsd) [ Edit | View ] |
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| Subject: One of the funniest books ever written. Not Wikipedia, Facebook or Twitter | |
Author: Christopher Anton (Laughing myself inside out.) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 07:07:27 10/20/12 Sat When I first saw this book advertised, I was reluctant to buy it. I'd never heard of the author Christopher Antony Meade and I was reluctant to spend any of my hard earned funds on his novella. After reading the excellent review that accompanies the advertisement, I decided to take the plunge and buy the book. It was a decision I have not regretted. A book of 95 pages should take about four hours to read. “The Zombie, the Cat and Barack Obama” occupied my time for about 10 hours. It was just so funny I had to keep putting it down in order to recover from the laughing. I'm not sure whether the author really is telling the truth when he makes his outrageous claims. You can be certain, though; that there will be very embarrassed faces in the homes of the great and good if this book gets widespread circulation. It starts off as a conventional enough zombie story. The actual zombie is a cut above the usual run-of-the-mill graveyard refugees. For one thing, he's a very talented classical pianist. When he moves in with a rather naive writer in Wimbledon in South London, he sets in train a series of events that will ultimately bring him to the highest house in the land and an encounter with a rather hapless Barack Obama. Suffice it to say that American brains are on the menu. Barack Obama also figures large in this book. The story of his ancestry is as strange as it is funny. Osama bin laden is revealed to have been a schoolgirl fetishist. The tale of how he met his end is very far removed from the official version. It makes the Navy seal’s account seem rather pallid as well. The reader is also treated to some very original and hilarious explanations for such modern controversies, as the real purpose of area 51, or the very surprising cause of chem trails, among others. I have to say that this book is an imaginative and comic triumph. My only regret about it is that it came to an end. I hope I don't have to wait too long for the sequel. Mind you, I will have to find some way of stopping this laughing. Otherwise, I will be suing Christopher Antony Meade for putting me into this state in the first place. Available on Amazon. United States. http://goo.gl/ckqfk United Kingdom (Amazon UK) http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B009CYBTC8/ref=tag_dpp_yt_edpp_rt#tags You can also buy it from many other online retailers. Priced at less than the cost of a packet of cigarettes. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: Buy and sell vehicles (NC10041) | |
Author: shaun [ Edit | View ] |
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| Subject: How to get pain medications without a prescription online? | |
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| Subject: Buy and sell vehicles (NC10051) | |
Author: adeel [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 04:33:55 10/08/12 Mon Buy and sell your used cars, bike, trucks,every type pf vehicle in UK with Good price.(http://www.autotrader.co.uk/) [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: Funny Bible Stories. Not wikipedia. | |
Author: Francis Meade. (Wickedly Witty.) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 08:38:35 03/08/11 Tue For too many people the bible is a dull and dusty book, full of staid stories about long dead prophets, and overencumbered with rules that we are all obliged to obey, in order to avoid eternal hellfire. But there is more to these stories, sometimes, than sometimes meets the eye. The characters, and the situations, can in fact be downright funny when their stories are retold in the right way. In this series, the astute, and very funny, author christopheranton retells some of the best known stories from The Bible in a way that will have you falling of your seat with laughter. They give a whole new meaning to the term "Divine Comedy". Read them, and laugh your way to Heaven. http://hubpages.com/hub/Who-farted-here-I-really-want-to-know http://hubpages.com/hub/The-First-Christmas-Marys-story http://hubpages.com/hub/The-Three-Kings-Jesuss-first-miracle-and-The-Flight-into-Egypt-Marys-story-Part-Two http://hubpages.com/hub/Turning-water-into-wine-The-wedding-at-Cana-Not-John-2-or-Wikipedia [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: Best Zombie Stories. Not Wikipedia. | |
Author: Francis Meade. (chilled.) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 02:32:57 03/05/11 Sat I know this must seem a bit strange, but for the last two years I have been sharing my house with a zombie. It all started just after New Years Day 2009. I had recently moved into a house, not two streets away from Wimbledon cemetery in South West London. The house which I took at a rent of Ł1000 per month was a typical Edwardian terraced house, one of many in that once genteel part of the great metropolis. As, is often the case with rented properties, it was semi furnished. That is to say that there was a very sorry looking sofa in the living room, and a new fridge and cooker in the kitchen. Also in the living room there was a large upright piano, and piano stool. The letting agent explained that the musical instrument had belonged to the late owner of the house, and that the landlord had decided to leave it there, as a "character piece" to give a bit of class to the otherwise empty house. My long experience of landlords had taught me that it was more likely that he could see no profit in employing several men to take the piano away, so it was left in situ. Still as I enjoyed pretending, in a one fingered sort of way that I was a musician, I readily agreed that the piano lent ambience to the room, and I was delighted to see it remain. It didnt take me too long to settle into the house. I brought my bed and television, my favourite books, my trusty computer, and of course my beloved three year old tabby cat, from my old flat. After a visit to Wimbledon to acquire some new furniture I was as content as it was possible to be. As always happens after one has moved into a new area I decided that I should explore my environs to see what the local attractions might be, and to find out where such neccesaries as the nearest supermarket, newsagent, cafe etc might be. I have always had a fascination with local history, and an amost morbid attraction to reading the inscriptions on headstones, and on the tombs that are a feature of the victorian cemeteries that populate all the outer boroughs of the city. Consequently one of the first places that I explored was the very same Wimbledon cemetery that got mentioned in my first paragraph. Wimbledon cemetery is a large and sprawling place, not very distinguished looking, with two rather shabby looking chapels of rest close to the main gate. The graves are all laid out in straight rows, with the headstones standing to attention as though they are sentinels listening for the last trumpet. Here and there one or two are fallen over, as if a soldier that had too much to drink was spoiling the parade. A couple of large Yew trees cast their sombre shadow over the ranks of the dead. I dont exactly know how this happened, but when I entered through the wrought iron gates of the borough necropolis I felt an irrisistble urge to strike off to my left, rather than exploring the chapels of rest, which would normally have been my first port of call. It was as if there was someone directing my steps. I even imagined that there was a voice in my head saying "this way please. I am waiting for you" In the distance there was a large pitched roofed tomb, and it was in it's direction that my steps seemed to be directed. When I approached nearer I could see that there was a large pair of double doors, cast in heavy iron, that gave entrance to whatever ghastly secrets lay within. There was an inscription embossed on the doors in long greened brass. This is what the inscription said. Here lieth the mortal remains of Julian Faversham, Late of this parish. He was for many years organist to the Church of St Margaret. His brilliant musianship turned many souls to God. While I stood there contemplating on the life of the late Julian, the voice in my head seemed to come again. "Speak to me" was the message conveyed. I suddenly found myself talking out loud. "Julian Faversham. If you were such a brilliant musician, why dont you move in with me. I have a beautiful piano you might like to play" A banging noise came from the mausoleum, followed by a crash, and a splintering sound, as if a very heavy box had fallen on the floor within. The spell was broken, and I fled from the cemetery, and didnt stop until I had slammed the door of my new residence behind me. That night I lay sleepless in my bed. I was turning over and over in my head memories of the frightening incident in the graveyard. Did it really happen? or was it just that the atmosphere in the cemetery had induced hallucinations in my over active imagination. I had decided that it was my imagination, and was just drifting off into sleep, when I heard a key turning in the front door downstairs. Immediately all notion of slumber vanished, and I shot bolt upright in the bed. I could feel my heart almost bursting forth from it's fleshy cavity, so fast was it beating. The front door opened, and then was slowly pushed closed. Somebody was moving ponderously down the corridor in the direction of the living room. It sounded as if the intruder was very old. There were no steps, just repetitive shufflng sounds. Each "slither" put ice cold shivers into my very core. I tried to breathe. I tried to move. It was as if someone had dropped me into a deep freeze, and locked the door. I really was petrified with terror. The shuffling sound stopped at the door of the living room. Through my palsied nostrils wafted a smell so noisome, and so awful that my stomach was forced to heave, and my dinner of earlier that night was deposited all over the new duvet cover that I had purchased only that week. Once when I was young I came across the body of a sheep that had fallen into a country stream and been left there to lie by a negligent farmer. It must have been there for some months. The smell that drifted up my stairs reminded me of that long dead herbivore. The recollection did not fill me with good cheer as to the identity or intentions of my intruder below. The living room door opened, and was closed again as steathily as had the door of the house. I could hear the shuffling noise cross the floor of the room. then there was a sound as if someone was pulling out the piano stool in order to sit at the piano. Slowly the unmistakable sound of the E flat noctourne by Chopin started to fill the house. The music seemed to have a soothing effect on my dread. I still felt fearful, but it was as if someone who could produce such gorgeous sounds could not possibly be a homicidal maniac. The beating in my heart subsided, and I found myself gradually being able to breathe more normally. I even managed to pinch myself to see if I was really awake. The noctourne petered out, and it was immediately replaced by the lively jingle of Mozart,s Turkish Rondo, to be followed by the the Military Polanaise,(another Chopin Masterpiece). By this time my courage had completly returned, and I started to think about the effect spirited renditions of Chopin's martial music might have on the neighbours, if it woke them in the middle of the night. So, plucking up my courage, I descended to the living room in order to gain the acquaintance of my midnight caller. I knocked on the door. Immediately the music stopped. A voice that was identical to the one I had heard in my head in the graveyard said "Enter". When I went into the room, the figure that had been sitting at the piano got up, turned to me, and gave an old fashioned courteous bow. He was not a pretty sight. His skin seemed to have dried out, and it was shrunken, so that it barely covered the outlines of the skull. If there were any eyes, they were sunk so far into the sockets as to be invisible. Some of the parchment eperdimis, that was clinging to the neck, had come away and was hanging loose like wallpaper that was partially stripped. The hand, that this cadaver extended to me to shake, was green with mould, and the skeletal tips of the fingers were emerging from the crumbling remnants of skin that covered the palms and wrists. "Julian Faversham at your service" it said. I declined to shake the decaying appendage. "I would be obliged to you sir if you could tell me what you are doing in my house, and whether you intend to continue causing disturbance to this respectable neighbourhood by playing my piano in the middle of the night". I said firmly "You invited me" was the reply "Furthermore you did yourself actually ask me to stay, and I would entertain you with beautiful music. I promise not to play the piano at night, and I will give you free music lessons instead of rent" I had to admit that there was a measure of justice in the zombies case. I had invited him. "How did you get in", I asked, hoping to wrong foot him somehow. "Why did you have a key"? The answer that he gave really floored me. "I used to live here. That was my piano. I have been waiting in that dark tomb for almost eighty years for someone to invite me to return to my beloved instrument. My awful son used to live in this house until he died last year. He would never invite me back. I sensed ,straightaway, that you had a kind heart, so I put it into your head to invite me when you entered the cemetery". "But what will you eat" I asked apprehensively. I had always heard that zombies eat human flesh, and music or not, I had no intention of placing myself in the position of being this corpse's next meal. "You have a cat" came the sepulchral reply. " You are not eating my beloved tabby you mouldy bastard" I shouted at at him. "Relax" the zombie said. "It is a lie propagated by generations of B Movies that zombies eat humans, or any live thing. I only asked about your cat because, if your budget could run to another couple of tins of catfood a week, that would be all I require for sustenance". "But you stink" I said. "I cannot live with that awful stench in the house". "Easily solved. Just invest in plenty of strong airfreshener for the first couple of weeks. Then if you get me some proprietary furniture polish, I can rub it into my skin. It should get rid of the smell permanently, and it will stop my skin from crumbling all the time". All objections seemed to be covered by this stage, so I agreed that he could stay. He has been in residence ever since. He does not require a bed. He sleeps in a cupboard in the living room. I have made an arrangement with him, that when I have any guests, he must remain quietly out of sight. Very occasionally he revisits the graveyard. I do not encourage these expeditions. Once he brought a female cadaver back for a one night stand. I did not sleep that night. I may be broadminded, but the sound of rustling parchment, and heaving bones, coming from the room beneath my own, does not float my boat. Besides it was left to me to hoover up the flaky bits in the morning. I have made it a house rule that necrophiliac coupling can only now happen when I am on holidays. Apart from these few teething problems, Julian is a brilliant housemate. He still plays the piano divinely. If we can find some way to disguise his appearence, he hopes to enter for Britain's got Talent this year. Simon Cowell will be impressed. For another take on this tale read http://hubpages.com/hub/The-story-of-a-zombie-Not-Wikipedia-or-Facebook [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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| Subject: University of Technology (COJ217462) | |
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