| Subject: Windermere friends |
Author:
wasabi
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Date Posted: 19:22:55 03/28/06 Tue
Dear friends,
Haven't been checking this website for quite a long time... and I guess what brought me back here is my «ä©Àtowards all of you. But I'm suprised to find that this website hasn't been updated since last Nov. Oh well, don't know if anyone of you is going to see this, but I'd still decided to post this msg...just for the sake that this is the most comfortable place to express myself while I can share it with you, my old friends.
Life has changed a lot in the past 2 years. And I don't mean just the environmental change, but rather the pyschological & mental change. Seriously, it has been very difficult for me to experience such a tremendous change. It is to a point that I'm feeling so out of control of my future, particularly my relationship life, which was something that I seldom worry about.
I don't know what's up with me. But I find it hard to maintain that "speical feeling" for my partner in a longer relationship. I don't know if it's me being too picky, setting too high expectations, or simply the romance is just over and I've lost interest. But this thinking inside me has turn so bad that recently I'm trying to convince myself that not having a marriage in life is probably more suitable for me. This is a crazy thought honestly; at least I'd never come across this idea before. It is very frustrated that the relationship would torn itself apart as time goes by, without a sign, without a reason. I wish there's something to blame, but unfortunately I can only hate myself for letting this happen with no reason.
Does a woman find a man less important as she progress in her career? Should a woman stay with a man just because he loves her more? Is it silly to go on seeking for the "right one" while the one besides me is not bad at all? Will that "right one" ever appear? And even if he appears, will the same thing happen all over again?
sorry, so many questions, but the questions inside my mind is 10 times as many. Don't know if you people recognize who I am by my nickname. But this nickname is an old one that I used to use in ICQ. Well, doesn't really matter if you don't know who I am, I've certainly released some of my discomfort by now.
Take good care friends & see u soon.
wasabi
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