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Date Posted: 10/21/03 12:30am
Author: Molle
Subject: Jeff transcript thinger
In reply to: Freestyle 's message, "Jeff Audio Clips..." on 10/20/03 8:16pm

At some point this stopped being an interview and turned into an odd little Jungian analysis session for Jeff.

Do you relate at all to your character? How?
Jeff: I do relate to my character because, uh, John Larroquette and Christine Baranski are kind of like bizarro versions of my parents, that they kind of look a little similar, they don't look just like 'em but kind of like same shape, size around, uh, so being around them is kind of like being around my parents, and, uh, my character Todd is, uh, a guy that's supposed to have his act together. He's supposed to be the one kid that's not a complete screwup. Um, but he does screw up. And that kind of, I relate to that because I feel like in my family expectations were always high on me, like I was supposed to always, like, get the good grades and do everything right, and then when you didn't, there was extra disappointment, like when expectations are high, the disappointment is great. So, I relate to it in that, in that capacity.
What's your sign?
I'm a Libra, which means I am into fairness, and if I date Cancer women, horrible things happen. Terrible, terrible things happen.
What TV show from your childhood would you want guest star on?
I have a series of dreams about being on shows, I dream all the time about being on old TV shows. Um, one time I dreamed I was, uh, JJ from Good Times and I made out with my sister Thelma. So, there's that one, and then one time I dreamt that I was on Gilligan's Island and I was Gilligan, but it was me, I didn't look like...Bob Denver? Bob Denver? Yeah. Uh, I didn't look like him, I looked like me, but I was making out with Ginger and Mary Ann at this house party. And, uh, the Skipper and the Professor kept comin' in to try to block the action. They kept comin' in, they'd knock on the door, like, "Yeah, um, we need to, need to..." The Skipper had, like, a Magic 8-Ball, the Professor was kind of like, that was going to get us off the island but we were like at a house party. So it was all, like, it was, it was, it was crap, because like we weren't even on the island, yet there was a lot of, they had to get, they were just trying to get, they were jealous that I was making out with the girls. And I (shrugs) I never really forgave 'em for that. So. I'd want to be on, I guess if I could be on any TV show, I would be on Gilligan's Island, so I could settle some scores.
What is your number one pet peeve?
I don't like the guys that call you boss, or big guy, or Chief. I don't like that. I don't like...If I don't know you, I'm not your boss, if I am your boss, you're fired. You're not...I don't, I don't like that guy. I don't like the tapping people, the people at the restaurant, you know, who when you're sitting at the bar or the counter or something like that, (pounds on seat) do this, just tappin', I don't like that guy. Don't be the tapper guy. I don't like that. Don't make your nervous energy my nervous energy.
Which actor/actress/performer did you have a childhood crush on?
Everybody. Everybody, I..To me, TV was just, like, even like the little, you could be fully clothed, if you're a woman on TV, I was in love with you, I was, sex was like, it was pornographic, everybody, I loved everybody, I loved, I just had a crush on everybody. Remember those, uh, there was the video for Young MCs, 'Bust A Move?' If anyone remembers the video for that, where it says, "Break it down for me, fellas!" Boom-ka, boom-ka, there was a girl on the music video, with short dark hair, and she had these little, little short-short hot pants on, and on the butt it said, it had a stop sign. And she was like, she was shakin' her butt and it said stop and I think, there's like Flea is playin' bass and like, aw man, I loved her. Loved her.
What is your favorite website?
Yes. Homestarrunner.com. Home, star, runner, dot com, funniest website on the internet.


Note: Homestar Runner is a web comic with a great deal of internet 'street cred.'

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