I'm so excited someone actually asked for my advice.... -- Jewish Women On The Edge

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Date Posted: 21:45:20 03/22/01 Thu
Author: handmade
Author Host/IP: squid.palmer.com / 198.3.156.52
Subject:

I'm so excited someone actually asked for my advice....
In reply to: menucha 's message, "seriously........." on 21:18:08 03/22/01 Thu

Usually they run from it!

>I think this list should continue with the "cute"
>threads, and I also think that this should be an
>important place for us to discuss between ourselves
>the Jewish Families and Passover Boards.

Menucha it is my experience with Private Boards that they are always found out about. It could even take 1 or 2 years (may Moshiach come now!) I only ask that nothing is written specifically about another poster. I would hope we could discuss "issues" in general.

I don't want this to be a 'back door' place inwhich we discuss others. Any and all shluchis would be ruined if any post would hurt anyone directly.

What happens is: The membership grows. Someone mentions to a friend about the board...they email the url to the person. They lurk. Finally a post comes up that insults that person, often for no reason, and that person lets one and all know about the board. How awful if anything personal was written.

Let's discuss issues, even board issues, but not people in general.

I'm not the "Leader" of this board in anyway...just change the colors sometimes...but this is only my opinion.

>this board to criticize or praise each other when
>necessary, to give and ask for advice, to figure out
>how we can make these boards into a shlichut.

Great!!!

>
>Which brings me to my first serious question. As CL
>of the JF board, I often find myself having to take an
>"I'm OK - you're OK" attitude towards Judaism, and try
>to emphasize that it's important to keep Mitzvot, and
>not to get bogged down with minhagim which you don't
>feel comfortable with, and to do the ones you feel are
>beautiful etc. ad nauseum.

What are you asking? Not sure. My only trouble when people mention custom...they do it in a downgrading way. "Oh that's ONLY a Chabad custom." Or something. Often it is actually a din...or it could be custom observed by many branches of Judaism. Custom is very important. Why give only the dry stuff...custom brings life to the mitzvot.

I think we cheat people when we say just worry about the mitzvah itself. You have to give joy to it.

>I also wonder how much of my lifestyle as a
>mitnachelet I should be sharing. As we all know, even
>mild posts of this sort have brought rabid reactions.

I have never seen anything negative ... ever... as response to your posts Menucha. You are the Teflon CL!!!

Please post more about what you do. Why should you hold back.

>Another point is, is it good or bad to show the
>hardships of these times in Israel to the posters who
>are further from Torah and Judaism? Or should we keep
>the board upbeat? I planted a small allusion in the
>Matza ball thread as a test balloon.

People react pretty strongly to it, because they don't know how to react. If I would write, "Oh I'm in dispair, this isn't fair, whatever" it sounds so hollow. People don't know what to write to bring comfort or show understanding.

Can you just write in a matter of fact way about the goings on in your life?

>Should I tell about the terribly sad niuchumei avelim
>that I've been going to? About Avihu Cohen whose
>father was gunned down on the way to work on the day
>they were supposed to meet his Kallah's parents? About
>the Bakbuk Tavera (firebomb? Molotov cocktail?) that
>was thrown at us when I was driving my daughter and
>her friends to a slumber party in Efrat?

Yes of course. You deny people the opportunity to have some understanding and compassion...even if we don't know what to say about it.

>I'd like to get your advice on this one.

That's my advice for what its worth.

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Replies:

Teflon CL?!?!? -- menucha, 01:36:15 03/23/01 Fri
Handmade, I have a lot of serious stuff to say about your post but Shabbos is coming. BE"H next week.Shabbat Shalom! (NT) -- menucha, 01:37:50 03/23/01 Fri