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Date Posted: 01:18:55 03/21/01 Wed
Author: Beki
Subject: Your Silence Now

Awake at 2am, I think of you.
There is no order to my thoughts, they come
in random patterns, bright designs inside
a new kalaidescope......

......We're standing on
a grassy cliff above an empty beach.
The curve of the land tells me it's Dana Point.
We were speaking just a moment ago, but now
the wind surrounds our silences. I look
below where battered rocks define the coast.
A soundless curl of white betrays a wave
that's struck the rocks the way your words have struck
my heart. The sea takes back its own, and I
would take you back if only you would ask.

There was another day, late afternoon,
when we stood chapel-high in San Pedro.
You looked out to the sea but didn't speak.
And when I saw a tear as casual
as summer tracing down your cheek, you said
"it's only just the sunshine in my eyes."
But I could see a sadness there in you
deeper then any hunger I could name.
It was a kind of pain I couldn't reach.

One winter day, knee-deep in Big Bear snow,
we climbed a peak that rose above our heads.
You spread your lambskin coat beneath a tree
and we made love to warm the bitter air.
I thought we must be crazy, yet your skin
had never felt so warm against my own.
Then later, climbing down that peak again,
I cried because your silence was so cold.

Awake at 2am, I think of you,
and how your silence now hurts most of all.

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