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Date Posted: 11:45:41 03/25/01 Sun
Author: Beki
Subject: Re: short poems
In reply to: jan 's message, "short poems" on 04:34:08 03/25/01 Sun

These are very good. They are haiku even if you have not called them so. The first is short one syllable in the second line,and needs a word connecting it to the first to make it one image...if you add "while" it would fix this quite simply...

while red foxes' teeth keep score

it is a wonderful haiku...perfect!

the second is also pretty darn good. One thing, haiku is never titled and must be complete within the poem. Yours are quite complete, no title needed. Good work!

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