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Date Posted: 20:43:16 11/19/02 Tue
Author: Someone who cares
Subject: Attention

"Shark" is the middle-age man I originally claimed "she" was. "Wanda", of course, was introduced by means of the "artificial syncroncity" I accidentally paved the way for. She has been created to strengthen the certitude of the duplicity and has been retained solely for convenience of anticipated social pretext (or so I presume).

After this discovery, I was curious as to whether any other denizens on this message board are also frauds. I picked ten random names and proceeded to debunk solecisms I had encountered when juxtaposing the style of the post with the self-described identity. Verbose, shocking expose follows.

The following psuedonyms were researched:

  • Jessica O'Brien - Reptillian impersonator.

    "Jessica O'Brien" (who also uses the aliases, "Super Orange"/SO, "stickyjunk", "knottedgibberish", etc) is a myriad fabrication of a malicious Reptillian invader not indigenous to this solar system! Not only is she patently alien, but she is devoid of the traditional spectrum of emotion that we observe in a highly civilized society. She is without remorse and empathy, thus she may flippantly track you down and maim you on a whim if you happen to disconcert her in any way (there is a precedent for this!) Extreme caution encouraged.

  • Damien/Machine - Angry dyke.

    "Damien" or "Machine" originally used the name "Alexis Machine" in 1998. Alexis Shirley is a widowed lesbian who lives alone in a Long Island suburb. In 1997, she planned to produce an Animorph novel for her newphew as a birthday gift. Intruiged by the concept of "animal morphers", she queried "animorphs" on an AltaVista search engine which led her first to Morphz (then "the Aniphiles") which linked to this "non-AOL non-Java Animorph chat". Bereft and enraged, she intermittently joined in conversations when daytime TV was excruciatingly boring. Unfortunately, the indignation she felt was not characteristic of any feminine personality, thus pretending to be a testosterone-ridden 16-year-old boy has proved most propitious for her tomfoolery.

    Thanks to her therapist for this info.

  • I Am Mortal - AI bot

    When attempting to trace "I Am Mortal"'s surname, absolutely no results emerged! (This rarely happens - maybe 0.2/10 attempts) I also noticed the subtle varying in IP subnet. I called his current ISP, talked to a few system administrators, and have discovered that "I Am Mortal" is actually the product of a doctor with a Ph.D in Artificial Intelligence! "I Am Mortal"/Tobias/RedUnevano/etc was loosed upon the web four years ago and insinuated himself into this community where "he" posts ostensibly intelligent and circumspect comments.

    Who says AI is impossible? Dr. Sloman of Birmingham University clearly knew better.

  • WARLOCK - Canadian teenager.

    "WARLOCK" or David, is exactly who he claims to be.

  • Myitt - Homosexual college student.

    Homosexual male of Latino nationality, 23 years of age. Still lives in parent's basement, enjoys forging relationships with young children through a medium which obfuscates his identity. Wants children of his own. Not malicious.

  • Pyro - Myitt's unrequited inamorata

    Ignored one-night-stand of Myitt's who grepped his browser history for this URL, seeking reconciliation. Convicted of minor offences such as "mischief", enjoys setting flame to property of others.
    Not a threat.

  • Engoa - Jaror6

    When Jaror6 was informally ex-communicated, he reimbursed his presence as "Engoa" or "Katie Johnson". The real Katie Johnson is currently serving time for a GTA conviction.

  • SubVisser 46 OTAM/Dragonkitty/Nalasin - Jaror6

    See above.

  • No name - ?

    Usually the individual known as "Sabotage", although usage is diverse.

  • Guess Who - No name

    Impossible to pinpoint.



    I myself, am a concerned parent and CIA agent who's implicated child shall remain anonymous.

    The above is truth as best as I can describe it (the search for all ten was ardous and debilitating). I am exhausted. If you have any questions, please, email me at anon56364765@hushmail.com.

    Consider yourself forewarned.

    PS. The above email address may've expired. If it has, please reply.

    YHBT/HAND

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