Re: I don't known if I can hold on anymore -- CFA's Message Board

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Subject: Re: I don't known if I can hold on anymore

Author:
Benny Stearns

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Date Posted: 17:06:26 10/08/10 Fri
In reply to: Janet 's message, "I don't known if I can hold on anymore" on 16:31:27 10/01/05 Sat

I feel for your situation. I was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer in the later part of January. I was in advanced stage with a large mass on my left lung, 2 tumors in my right lung and 4 in my neck glands. I was given 7 weeks to live wtihout treatment, up to 8 months with. I have completed chemo and radiation and currently in remission. My job fired me because of personal illness with no extended medical leave. I lost our home and currently living with my elderly father on his SSI. I have started receiving SSI with all but 300.00 per month going for Cobra insurance (1187.00) per month. I owe out between my wifes medical and myself around $225000.00. Her co-pays on her meds are 400.00 per month. The hospital have told me that if I had entered the hospital with no insurance that I still would have been treated as indigent care at no cost to me. I have explained everything to them. I have nothing of value left. I'm being penalized for doing the right thing and obtaining insurance!>My exhusband is the hospital for months now slowly
>dieing from three strokes a heart attack and prostate
>cancer. I can not offer him any treatments they have
>stop working. The hospital wants everything I own
>because the Insurance is not covering everything and
>they are stopping me from hospicing him so he is
>sruffing. We just lost our oldest child I could not
>tell him because is so sick so I had to do the funeral
>alone it was so hard I can not begain to tell you how
>that was. Since my exhusband cannot be saved his brain
>is so damaged from the strokesand the cancer is in all
>his bones,lungs and through out his body I'm ready to
>let him go now. As pre his living will I just don't
>want him to bein pain or suffering any more.Last year
>I lost my twin sister and had to do her funeral alone
>and still have a hole in my heart from that.these
>hospital workers are like a football tag teem always
>trying tell me were to file for medicade seening me
>all over the place telling they will take gardenship
>of my exhusband I have power of attorney now. I just
>don't know where I can go for help and get them out of
>my hair. He may be my exhusband but he is a person.
>And I know what he wants. I feel so alone sometimes
>because knowone can under stand why United Health Care
>will not cover the bill I am putting appeals for that
>even though I'm not sure how to do it but I have to
>try.As sick as he is its for him to move to the next
>life. He needs hospice in the hospital. It seems like
>the case workers have more control than I do.I am the
>power of attorney I'm supposed to be the one that says
>what happens. I have great doctors for him that I know
>over twenty years they have been there every step of
>the way but they ordered hospice last thursday to
>start. And it is still not done. I guess I have one
>question how do I the only one in this world that
>knows what he wants. I have his living will and we
>talked about so long a go. Have do I give him the
>comfort and dignitty he needs with so many people in
>my way? He is to the point of going to the bathroom on
>his self,he can bearly walk, he cannot talk, or
>write,he is mind is like a five year old child,he can
>not shower or anything by hisself. He also has namonua
>in his lungs. This hospital will not be happy until I
>have lost everything and me and my childern and my
>twin sisters childern are living on the streets. I
>just don't under stand how they can go over me and my
>doctors heads and stop his hospice care. This is not
>right, this is sick to make a person suffer like this.
>I get so depressed I can't goto the hospital that much
>any more. Every time I go I can't crying because of
>the loss of our oldest child and not being able to
>tell him. And look at this shell of a man so thin and
>sick and I nkow its time for him to mve on. But they
>keep getting in my way.His PSA count was way over
>5,300 and they said he had the cancer 5 years or my be
>longer before we found it.So there not much I couid at
>that point. But watch and weight and now I can see it
>when I look in his eyes I can see he is tired and
>wants to go. On theup side our son will be waiting for
>him when getts there. He passed on Sept. 8th,my twin
>on Sept. 21st last year. My sprit is strong but my
>body is tired.Takes for letting me vent I just don't
>nkow what to do. Janet

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