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Date Posted: Thursday, September 30, 09:57:07pm
Author: Kathy
Author Host/IP: ip68-109-213-226.lu.dl.cox.net / 68.109.213.226
Subject: Sometimes I can tell that clients are a bit put off by that...
In reply to: RW 's message, "That's what kinda sucks when you don't believe in superbeings" on Thursday, September 30, 09:36:42pm

>If you believe in a superbeing, you always have a good
>response to anyone dealing with a difficulty. You can
>tell them you're actually gonna do something about
>it... you're gonna pray! You're gonna petition
>whatever deity you believe in to get up off his
>invisible ass and start sending some love their way.
>And it makes you feel like you're helping. It's a way
>to show you're empthasizing and you care.

I never say anything like that when I'm helping a client. I'm completely focused on what our options are in this world and I forget that quite a majority of SWs are pretty religious, and say the god stuff when dealing with clients. I think that's really inappropriate, but when fundie-flavored Christians are such a majority in an area, it's a pretty good bet that no one will complain.

Many clients are strongly-to-hyper religious, and when the most I will say about prayer is that it's a great form of meditation, and that it lowers stress and therefore is good for people with epilepsy, they get a funny smile. It's like they're getting an inkling that I'm a cyborg, or a pod person, or a faerie changeling; I look human, but there's something missing...but hey, I'm the one helping them with the meds and the free clinic, right? And they know I'm a hunnert percent into getting them every scrap of help they are eligible for. No...probably not evil. So I guess they let it go. Of course, if they see my car...busted, right?

>
>Unbelievers don't have that luxury. When we
>commiserate with someone, we can't say "I'm gonna
>pray". Often we can't do anything to help at all. So
>then what do you say? We unbelievers need a little
>saying for that kind of thing. There's always the "I'm
>sending positive thoughts your way" reply, though I
>think that's flimsy since I don't think my positive
>thoughts actually help other people.

I think they certainly do. There's a bonding and community that grows with communication like this. And we have shared experiences, or at least experiences that evoke similar emotions. That's worth a lot. That's everything, in fact. That's the basis of empathy, the #1 ingredient of human relationships. It's the same thing as holding the door for a stranger, and being married, and everything in between. The only difference is scale.

>
>Oh well... you have to think a lot more through life
>when you don't have a religious safety blanket to wrap
>around you!

Yes, and Nicky has had some very weepy and hairy existential crises because we're raising him without the Mr. Gordo (Buffy's stuffed pig) of belief. Better now than later, I say.

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Replies:

  • Re: "I'm sending positive thoughts your way" could at least bolster -- CEM, Thursday, September 30, 10:26:18pm
  • Absolutely, CEM!! (NT) -- Kathy, Thursday, September 30, 11:52:24pm
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