Lookie what I found -- thecoffeeshop

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Date Posted: 17:19:46 06/07/04 Mon
Author: Machiabelly
Subject: Lookie what I found

Does anyone remember Survivor Acro???

Wow, am I glad to se you and you're boat. I've been tranded here for a couple of weeks now with nothing to eat but 30 somethings, I mean 30 something coconuts. Yeah, that'll do. What are those 16 crosses? They are all that's left of 16 friends of mine who didn't survive the ordeal.
Thanks for picking me up. Hey I see you have a couple of hot babes on board as well. What's the name of your ship again? The SS Minnow... why does that sound familiar?
Oh well...
As the Minnow sails off into the sunset, the camera pans across the rows of crosses and stops on each one long enough to read the crudely etched poems that each contains.

Here lie the remains of Libby the Lobster.
Don't eat me, she said, my fathers a mobster.
Then she showed me her back,
And I gave her a whack.
Then I had nothing to do but digest her.

Buried here is Ridge Skimmin' Jane.
We all doubted she was legally sane.
She was number two,
And made a nice stew.
At least she is feeling no pain.

Here lies the body of Sandi Shores.
Only brought clothes from Fredericks stores.
She put up a fight,
Fell into the "light"
The only choice I had was to make Smores.

Beneath this cross lies Pearl Diver.
Built us a tent just like McGyver.
Then he threatened me,
So I poisoned his tea.
I think he was the tastiest Survivor.

Under this sand rests Peej, Paddlin'.
To avoid her fate, she tried skedaddlin'.
She got caught in my trap,
And I gave her a fwaaap.
Now my tent, over her bones, is straddlin'.

Here lie the bones of Stormy Waters.
She liked to frolic around like the otters.
She went out to forage,
Ended up in my porridge.
When no one was looking, I got 'er

Here lies the body of Cocoa Nuts.
Nice enough guy, though he stayed in the huts.
He was tasty and how,
Though I was worried 'bout mad cow.
But he really did offer up some prime cuts.

This is the grave of Ridge Lickin' Lu.
A lovely girl, but fond of the brew.
Which gave me an idea'r
Strychnine added to her beer.
When I cooked her the fire burned until two.

This is the final resting spot of Diver, Slinky.
I left him alone, until he got kinky.
Boy he was stunned.
Didn't know I had a gun.
He was yummy right down to his Pinky.

Here are the remains of Skinny Dipping.
Found it so hot, she was constantly stripping.
When she went for a swim,
I held her head in.
I made a lovely sauce from the drippings.

Here lies the body of Island Girl
Normally wouldn't hurt her for all of the world.
But when a man has to eat.
People are just meat.
The screams would have made your hair curl.

Here he lays a man called "I Invented Fire"
Old he may be, but I still think he's a liar.
When I said he looked delicious
I think he got suspicious
So I had to accidentally trip him into the pyre.

Here lies the shell of Crabby Ass.
She really was an ornery lass.
Said "The killing must stop".
So I gave her a pop.
Another crab leg? No I really must pass.

Here lie the bones of The Bait.
I was hungry and just couldn't wait.
I shouldn't have killed her,
But I couldn't fulfill her.
She said she wanted another to mate.

Here lie the remains of Sea Shells
Thought I was innocent, wasn't she swell.
My fellow Canuck
Was plumb out of luck.
For eating her, I know I'll see hell

Here lies the body of King Of The Jungle.
When we were alone, he started to rumble.
He went for my throat,
But tripped on his coat.
And that was the Kings final bungle.

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Replies:

[> :) And guess who was Sole Survivor? :) -- eeyore aka Crabby ass, 16:04:54 06/08/04 Tue [1]

Not to brag or anything!

Hey, I don't win much, what can I say? I gotta hang onto my old victory.... :)

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[> ((((((((((((((((BELLY)))))))))))))))) -- EG~ aka Ridge Lickin' Lu, 20:19:07 06/11/04 Fri [1]

That was Great!!!!!!!!

Thanks for the memories and it is great to see you!!!

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