Life is good -- thecoffeeshop

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Date Posted: 17:50:00 02/04/07 Sun
Author: Me
Subject: Life is good

Life is good.
I have always lived by that.... but lately... I am having a tough time.
You see... I didn't realize it but apparently I am a perfectionist. Me??? a perfectionist? I would have never thought it.
Through my humble beginings, getting my self through college, a husband and then a family.
Leaving a high profile job to go to a less stressful one with less benefits but greater rewards.
Living the life that most would dream of.... travelling, a great home, and not really having to think about money...
But... I am not happy
Lately, I have been wondering what my role is in life. My children although not all gone from the home, rarely seem to need me anymore. My husband loves and adores me but I just can't pin point the problem.
I have never really been in the position in my adult life that I have "needed" anyone but I realize now that I do. I recently had an injury that has turned my life into turmoil. I find that I am quick to anger with family and friends. By the time this injury is healed, it will take at least 8 months of my life and possibly longer. I hate being dependent on others but have had to relinquish some of the mondane regular daily life activites to someone else. I hate the person that I have become. I am quick tempered and sharp. Perhaps I just don't like to be so dependent on others or as I have been told perhaps I should learn to relax and calm down and not be such a perfectionist. Don't sweat the small stuff.
I know that very few come here anymore... but I needed to vent. When life hands you lemons make lemonade... Perhaps that is fine & dandy but wait til the lemons come your way.
I am not used to this.... I am told that I live the "ideal life" and a lot of people would love to switch places with me.... but in my mind I have never thought that. I have always thought that I live a simple life... That both my husband & I have college educations and we have always worked hard to get what we have.
My girlfriends mother has always said I was frugel. I shop for bargains and stock up when things are on sale. That is how you end up with extra money. I rarely pay full price for anything. In my mind, I don't live a lavish lifestyle but I can see how others may disagree. I scrub my own toilets; well up until 2 months ago I did but now I have had to hire someone to do that.
I don't know what is wrong with me, I just have a hard time accepting that I for the time being can not live without "a helping hand".
How does one adjust to needing help?
How does one who has lived such a full life learn to live a life dependent on others?
Is this what I hate to say "older age" is?
I am still way to young! I have a lifetime ahead of me...... I am not ready for this type of life.
Where do I go from here?

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