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Date Posted: 11:11:28 04/04/05 Mon
Author: Diane
Subject: Okay - Chapter 4
In reply to:
Diane
's message, "Okay" on 11:00:56 04/04/05 Mon
Nikita examined the three files in front of her. The candidates all had strengths and weaknesses but, on the surface, seemed evenly matched. She tried to read between the lines.
Joan Evard. 42. 5’10”. 160 lbs. With Section 12 years. Good marks in profiling; excellent trainer. Not much field experience. Has been at three different Sections. I wonder why?
Kendrick Lockett. 48. 6’3”. 190 lbs. With Section 23 years—last 10 in Spec. Ops. Excellent marks in all areas. A note in his file caught her eye: “Has problems with authority figures.” She smiled. They might get along just fine.
Megan Little. 26. 5’7”. 125 lbs. With Section 7 years. Has experience in profiling and in cold ops. Also a trained Valentine Op. Not sure that’s the kind of distraction Jason needs, she thought with a smirk.
Nikita placed the files aside and raised her hands in the air, stretching her weary back. Quinn chose that moment to knock at the door. “Enter,” she called out. Finally, some action. She felt like her butt was growing permanently attached to her chair.
To her surprise, Quinn entered with a tea tray and tea pot full of Oolong tea, just what Nikita had been thinking about. “Quinn you read my mind,” she said, smiling broadly. Quinn smiled back.
“I was making some for myself, and I knew you preferred tea to coffee, so I thought you might—“
Her eyes fell on the files from Center, and her demeanor immediately grew frosty.
“Here,” she said, setting down the tray none too gently and leaving without a word. “Thank you!” Nikita called out to an empty space. She shook her head. That girl seriously needed a renewal course in Sucking-up 101.
* * *
Joan “Call me Joanie” Evard had short dark hair and tortoise-shell glasses with thick lenses. After about 10 minutes, Nikita understood why Joanie had been transferred to so many Sections—the woman never shut up! Her mock profiles and sims were good, and it was obvious she could break anyone in the white room simply by virtue of her being there, but Nikita knew that they could never work together. She thanked Joanie for coming, told her she’d let her know, and spent another 15 minutes trying to get her out of the office.
Ken Lockett was reserved but friendly; the type who could put anyone at ease or on guard with just a look. He had dark silver hair and piercing dark eyes that chillingly reminded her of Madeline. He passed his tests with flying colors, and she noted that he worked well under pressure. She asked him why he wanted to leave Spec. Ops., and his face closed shut. At first, she didn’t think he was going to answer. He finally said, “No one really wants to be in Spec. Ops. I just happen to be good at it. I’ve done my time.” Nikita let her mind drift for a moment and thought about Jurgen, wondering if he really enjoyed playing mind games all day. She looked at Ken, and by the expression on his face she knew he thought he had blown the interview. She thanked him for coming, and he took her hand and looked her straight in the eye as if the job were already his. Nikita liked that. He didn’t dwell on things.
Megan Little was blonde and thin, and young and inexperienced. She failed her mock sim; her mock profile was mediocre, and she had no concrete ideas about what to do to make Section One more effective. Nikita wondered what Center was thinking when they sent her file. Not only was she vastly under qualified, she has shown up in jeans and chewing bubble gum. Was this some sort of payback for Nikita’s first day in Section? And not be snarky, but though Megan was cute, she was nowhere close to being Valentine material in Nikita’s opinion. Nikita skipped Megan’s tour of the building and had Jason show her out. He came to Comm back bragging that he had gotten her phone number. Maybe there was a purpose to her visit after all!
* * *
Nikita curled up in the bed in her apartment, basking in the sent of lavender candles. She wanted to read the additional material Oversight had sent over on Kendrick Lockett. She skipped over the usual physical statistics, education, previous jobs, and went straight to his conviction record. What she read chilled her. He had murdered a child.
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Okay. -- Shanola, 20:57:38 04/12/05 Tue
She felt like her butt was growing permanently attached to her chair.
*snark* LOL I laughed at this line. =P
Just a few quick things.
Wouldn't Nikita have read Kenrick Lockett's conviction record before she interviewed him? I found that rather odd.
Hmm...also, you've got a lot of 'telling' but not a lot of 'showing'. Instead of telling us that Megan Little is blonde and thin and chewing bubble gum, why not write a little bit of Nikita's interview with her and show us?
Am I making sense? It's been a rather long time since I've beta read, so I could be screwing this up!LOL Let me know if I've completely confused you, okay?
Keep on writing. =P
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Re: Okay. -- Diane, 23:10:13 04/13/05 Wed
Wouldn't Nikita have read Kenrick Lockett's conviction record before she interviewed him? I found that rather odd.
* * *
Their entire files weren't sent, just basic resume stuff.
Hmm...also, you've got a lot of 'telling' but not a lot of 'showing'. Instead of telling us that Megan Little is blonde and thin and chewing bubble gum, why not write a little bit of Nikita's interview with her and show us?
* * *
Yeah, I kinda rushed through those. Actually Joanie and Megan (and Ken) are my classmates at school; we're all going back to get our elementary ed certificates. Ken, I like. Joanie and Megan, not so much.
Am I making sense? It's been a rather long time since I've beta read, so I could be screwing this up!LOL Let me know if I've completely confused you, okay?
* * *
Not confused at all! Also willing to listen to all suggestions--not promising to take them all. :D
I really labored over the scenes between Michael and Adam (the story continues in Ch. 5), walking a fine line between the truth and 6 yr old need-to-know. The kidnapping would weigh heaviest on his mind right now, so Michael would have to give him some sort of valid explanation about what led up to that and why they are now free.
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Re: Okay. -- Shanola, 05:57:29 04/14/05 Thu
Are you sure the kidnapping would weigh heaviest on Adam's mind? What about his mother's death? That seems pretty heavy to me.
And you don't have to take any of my suggestions...but I'm glad you are reading them and haven't responded in anger to my honesty. =P
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Elena's death -- Diane, 19:18:31 04/14/05 Thu
It's not made clear in the series how long Elena has been dead and Adam has been in foster care. He knows that his father died two years ago, so is familiar with the process. I'm not trying to imply he is *okay* with it; just that he's been there done that.
I think seeing Ops shot and being held by the Collective, not to mention seeing his dad back from the dead, has to have his head in a whirl.
Maybe my Adam is more mature than canon, but he's had to deal with a lot over the last two years. I have dropped the part about the drunk driver, though.Adam can know what his father was, but doesn't need all the details of what he did.
I never get angry. :D I may disagree with you, and/or ask someone else's opinion (until they get it right LOL), but I'm moving forward with my story. That's why I put the foundation on this board; I want it to be solid.
I'm still very much a newbie, and I want to get it right. I've seen some beautifully written stories on the boards, as well as some poorly done crap; I'd like to avoid being a member of the latter group.
I read every suggestion/comment I get, and will do my best to either justify or modify what I've written. Some things I will defend to the death, so we'll just have to work around them. Thanks for continuing to read my blather!
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My thoughts -- Persephone, 20:04:16 04/14/05 Thu
I also have a little trouble believeing that Michael would tell Adam so much. Whose to say that he and Adam haven't talked it out already. We don't have to know what the two of them said to each other. It might be a good way to introduce new readers to the situation, but here most of us already know what happened. If you'd really like to get into Adam's head a little and feel he can't go to a therapist in the story, why not have Michael act as his therapist? He doesn't have to explain what happened, just deal with how Adam felt about everything. Just a thought.
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Interesting idea -- Diane, 20:28:49 04/14/05 Thu
Maybe looking at from a six-year old's POV? Sliding over the whole "Grandpa" thing.I'll have to see what I can come up with.
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