Subject:  Re: Susan "2" |
Author:
Susan
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Date Posted: 09:41:32 03/13/04 Sat
I left the USA actually. I left him flat after he hit me (repeatedly... granted, I did hit him back finally), had me arrested (for hitting him), and took off with his mistress to California. I Went to Canada where he could not find me, and besides I am in love with someone here. I am sure this is what I want and need- he would have killed me, whether actively or passively by stress, if I had stayed. I do not believe in divorce, but he was no good for me, nor I for him. Our son was becoming violent. I left everything, all material goods and possessions, even my own son, for fear of my life and sanity. I came to the cross once again, led by my new man and best friend [someone you know Suzanne]... my husband is trying to use Islam to control me, but even that has no hold on me now. I am physically safe, but my son, while safe, is 3000 miles away, and my ex is threatening to never let me see him again. I have decided that while this makes me sad, I can do nothing about it now. He has all the money, all the leverage and all of the resources. All I have is me and my friend in a small flat, no money to my name, nothing. I cannot afford a lawyer. So, I will just have to pray and wait for the Lord to answer.
Thank you for your advice, I enjoy talking to you Zanne. If you have any thing more to say or comfort to give, please do. Also, if you know any Biblical verses to help, send them to me, and I will read and meditate on them so to speak.
Thank you and God Bless,
Susan
>Do you live in the USA? IF NOT! Then GET OUT of the
>country without him. IF this is the case MAKE
>ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN THIS is what you want to do.
>
>The bottom line is this .. No one has any business
>being a tyrannt over another human being, to the
>EXTENT of bringing harm, either BODILY or VERBALY!
>This is not real GODLY LOVE. I do not care whom THEY
>name as their GOD.
>
>IF you are still in the home living with him, which I
>am thinking you probably are. Then YOU need to FIND a
>LAWYER.
>
>
>If you live in the USA then there is at least one
>thing you can do if you feel THREATENED by your
>HUSBAND. IF you are SEPARATED from him and not living
>with him. YOU can see about getting a court order
>preventing him from coming around you. BUT you must
>get a LAWYER first to lead and guide you.
>
>If you are in the STATES then there are safe havens
>for woman and their children from abusive husbands
>until they can get a way to be separated from the
>abuser for good.
>
>IF you can get to a FAMILY SERVICE center and let them
>know what is going on and get advice from there. this
>may also be helpful.
>
>NOW AS TO what would I do?? IF I was married to
>someone that was abusive. to the point I WAS REALLY
>SCARED that he might harm me PHYSICALLY!!!! I would
>very carefully and SECRETLY get a LAWYER. have that
>LAWYER set me up in a safe haven with any children I
>might have that are young and would be possibly used
>by him to get to me. This is usually a DRASTIC move to
>make and one shoulkd be absolutely sure that LEAVING
>and DIVORCE is what one is after and NO TURNING BACK..
>BECAUSE FEARING PHYSICAL ABUSE IS NOTHING TO mess
>around with. and a TRULY ABUSIVE HUSBAND is not one
>who really CARES about HIS wife or HE would not want
>to harm them . ABUSIVE HUSBANDS are all about having
>CONTROL!!!!! It also depends on just HOW abusive they
>are. IF they BACK DOWN in their VERBAL ABUSE when TOLD
>THAT their VERBAL ABUSE is not getting them anywhere.
>and they MELLOW. then there is a VERY GOOD CHANCE that
>they can care enough to LEARN to SHARE and WORK
>TOGETHER in LOVE and LIFE instead of HAVING CONTROL
>ALL THE TIME. BUT IF it CREATES MORE HOSTILITY where
>there is PHYSICAL ABUSE then THIS IS A SIGN that they
>want NOTHING BUT CONTROL.
>
>MY husband was an abuser VERBALLY, HE could have been
>a VIOLENT and PHYSICAL ABUSER if HE THOUGHT HE COULD
>have GOTTEN AWAY with it. BUT the first time HE lifted
>his hand with a fist made wanting to hit me, I TOLD
>HIM this. " GO ahead and hit me and see where it gets
>you." at the same time I was within reach of an
>ALABASTER ASHTRAY. that was sitting right by my hand.
>To be perfectly honest I do not know if he saw this or
>not. BUT . the tone of my voice and having no fear . I
>guess could have been enough I do not know. BUT I CAN
>TELL YOU THIS!! I was FULL AWARE HE COULD HIT ME and
>probably knock me to the floor and even out cold. BUT
>I had already been in a frame of mind that NO MAN will
>ever HIT ME without paying a high price for doing so.
>I THINK HE KNEW THAT. WOULD I suggest anyone trying
>this.. absolutely not.. NOT UNLESS YOU CAN REALLY HAVE
>NO FEAR and are certain you can have a CHANCE AT
>RETALIATION of some form. IN OTHER WORDS NOT end up
>DEAD in the process.
>IN some cases this could very well happen. I FELT
>fairly certain the most I would get was KNOCKED OUT
>and end up on the floor. BUT I also knew that that
>would be the last time he ever would hit me BECAUSE I
>would have DEFINITLY PUT AN END TO IT ONE way or
>another. EITHER LEAVE and never come back. OR HE would
>definitly know the next time he would not get the
>chance. HE raise his hand again and IT would be HIM on
>the floor. Then I WOULD LEAVE and never come back.:):)
>
>when it comes to men HITTING WOMAN ???? there is
>ABSOLUTELY NO EXCUSE .. NONE AT ALL.. and WOMAN HAVE
>NO BUSINESS HITTING MEN EITHER!! when TWO individuals
>cannot talk and have disagreements without bringing
>VIOLENCE into it when they are supposed to be IN LOVE
>WITH ONE ANOTHER. Then this is NOT LOVE. we all can
>get angry and have fights so to speak BUT!!! it is
>natural to have disagreements about things but they
>should be DISGUSSED and come to an agreement that is
>GOOD FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY. GOD CREATED WOMAN from MAN
>to be a HELP TO the MAN . NOT A DOORMAT to be RULED
>and CONTROLED with NO SAY what is to be done when IT
>comes to what is GOOD FOR THE MARRIAGE and
>FAMILY!!!!!! they BOTH ARE TO work and talk and GET TO
>A CONCLUSION to what should be done.. BUT!!!!! when
>ONE is a CONTROLLER and is VIOLENTLY ABUSIVE ABOUT IT
>well that is another thing all toghether and must be
>delt with IN ORDER TO NOT GET PHYSICALLY HARMED!!!!!!
>
>YOU in the end MUST be the one to DECIDE what YOU MUST
>do..
>FOR it is YOUR LIFE and HIS LIFE and any CHILDRENS
>life that is IMPORTANT HERE. FOR YOU ALL are CHILDREN
>of GOD. NONE of us would be on this earth that God has
>CREATED also if it were not for that FIRST MAN and
>WOMAN that GOD CREATED. in the first place. WE are
>KNOWN AS MANKIND.. MADE in the IMAGE of GOD ALMIGHTY.
>
>BUT women should not be abused even verbally or
>BEATEN, SLAPPED, BRUISED, and BATTERED or end up DEAD
>by the hand OF HER HUSBAND whom is supposed to LOVE
>and PROTECT HER .. and neither should any HUSBAND be
>BATTERED into being RULED BY the woman either BY
>ABUSIVE PHYSICAL ABUSE or INSULTS. a MARRIAGE is a
>wonderful thing BUT NOT if LOVE is shown by abuse
>instead of shareing and careing for each other enough
>to GIVE on both parts side. BY coming to an agreement
>with REASONING and TALKING. GRANTED some WOMAN and
>some MEN CANNOT REASON together .. that is when
>something has to be done about it.
>
>YOU IN THE END can only be the one to DETERMINE what
>MUST and HAS TO be done. BECAUSE noone is IN YOUR BODY
>nor IN YOUR SHOES even IF many have been there before.
>BUT ADVICE is HELPFUL and YOU MAY get MANY PEOPLE TO
>ADVISE. and after hearing then one must decide what to
>do..
>EACH SITUATION and INDIVIDUAL circumstance is
>different one thing never changes .. ABUSE is wrong !!
>no matter who is GUILTY of it. IT is wrong..
>
> May GOD BLESS YOU! and may HIs HOLY SPIRIT LEAD and
>GUIDE YOU in all YOUR WAYS. MAY HE GUIDE YOU into the
>RIGHT and BEST solution for YOUR personal problem.
>LISTEN to HIS SPIRIT . This takes PRAYER and SEEKING
>HIM and HIS TRUTH. which means HAVING FAITH IN THAT
>whom HE has sent TO US ALL to GUIDE and tell US TRUTH.
> GOD SENT HIS SON, because He loved the WORLD so much.
>that whosoever would believe IN HIM should not perish
>but have everlasting life. AND HIS SONS name???? was
>CALLED JESUS. the RISEN CHRIST that has come in the
>flesh to BAPTISE with the HOLY SPIRIT. that will GUIDE
>and LEAD us INTO all truth.
>MAY HIS BLESSINGS and GUIDENCE be YOURS..
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