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Date Posted: 00:27:19 09/15/01 Sat
Author: PhuZzy LoGic (max)
Subject: The beat is for her

As I sit in my room at night pondering how people say “Misery Loves Company” I try to figure out how this saying has meaning. I wonder if I love the company also. Do I thrive off of other people’s pain and misery as they do me? Misery consumes my life and I am around it everyday and it is ever present to the point that I shake hands with her. I refer misery as a female in the since that if I did not have a lady in my life at all times I would not be the same person. One person comes to mind more then any other right now. She is the light of my life. She is the one thing that keeps me living. How can you come to depend on such a thing? You think that man, as instinct would tell you shelter, eat and sleep. Is what keeps you going? I care for none of these things. I only worry about her. She consumes me. What lies next in my life is up to her. Everything I do she is there. Every decision depends on what she would think of the outcome. My only escape is the music. The beat, rhythm, the bass. When I hear the beat I look to her. I dance for her. I prove myself that I am ready to consume her. I pick up my sticks and spin for her. I hop and go with the rhythm and let it consume me like none other. I become a puppet she is pulling the strings She pulls me to-do a figure eight and I do it. She moves me to the right and I sway to the right. I move to the beat and she leads me to the next step. The misery of this is that it is all about her. I try to let go but she is there calling me and telling me to let her go. I still stay around and hurt more. Time is the all time healer but what do I do until then. I loath in misery and try to cope with the pain and hope that one-day I will lead her to the beat and show her the step. one to guide me to that beat anymore. What do I do from there? What do I do when the beat has no guidance and it has lost its hope?

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