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Subject:  love and showers |
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Author: laura r |
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Date Posted: 16:07:46 04/28/05 Thu In reply to: James 's message, "hearts and flowers (the taboo course)" on 19:09:13 04/05/05 Tue the Taboo Course!!! ...is it over yet?? Never!! long live the taboo course.. i am still reeeling from it.!!!! i had two specific shadow goals for the course and feel i got so much clarity on them.. Thank You and these shadows had been haunting somewhat seriously to an extent where i felt so bad at times. dark nights. feeling cursed. ah no more!! The course gave me a new perspective ...Sesame Street Monster Party !!! (no ones shadow was more scarey than Elmo. including mine. ) My Goal#1 was... Bridging the space between service and being... i would have to hide behind a great curtain of Oz as if i was secretly working for god or the devil i was never quite sure.... there was guilt for being powerful and feeling called to do so much strange or off the cuff types of service work in my life. i felt untouchable unseen not human. yet did not want to be seperate or seem strange so i would hide behind my hair too much. and you all called me out of hiding. in that place where i would hide behind my hair. i was afraid of being persecuted. you all gave me an opprtunity to be honest and loud where i was feeling seretive or afraid of being myself. and the greatest gift was just a knowingness of who i was in the face of being witnessed by a room of peers. goal#2///// having everyone be the special one.. the guilt associated with my power had me feel alone and isolated because i was so afraid of being power drunk or people hating me but i was still secretly power drunk on feeling misunderstood. ..and since everyone has now become just the special one i am not afraid because i am always watching for any special one to give me cue if i am starting to ride too high or low. and i get the cues all of the time to step up or down and thats the bridge piece i wanted....it has become a smoother graceful ride with people. my scope on life has opened to recieving more people more cues. i feel more precise in my actions, words, and feelings.. and still..... always learning more and refining. And other people's shadows have now become more humorous and lovely I can approach a person and enjoy their dirty secrets more as well....Hello Cute cuddly monster!!! thanks for everyone who was there that day and the exactness of the plot. i can still revisit the room in my head and how special it was. since the course i feel more creative and engaged in life and feel more clarity around who i am and what i do. Victory! Thank You Insight Institute for being a profound influence in my life. with all of my heart Love Peace and Sesame Street! Laura [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |