Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your
contribution is not tax-deductible.)
PayPal Acct: 
Feedback: 
Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):
| [ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4 ] |
| Subject: some of it | |
|
Author: marvin |
[
Next Thread |
Previous Thread |
Next Message |
Previous Message
]
Date Posted: 21:37:25 05/03/05 Tue In reply to: LR 's message, "Nicole" on 22:45:09 05/02/05 Mon is true but some of the facts aren’t exactly right. I wasn’t dreading 100 hours of what I was going to do with her; it was 71 hours and 30 minutes. Also I never whispered “drat” . Also the lilac tree (it was a lilac tree not a grape tree or whatever swhe said) didn’t nearly die in the winter but the blossms got snowed on two weeks ago and I was worried they’d fall off. .Also the first night I wasn’t sleepy, She seems to forgot about the neck and head massge by the fireplace, the incesnce and al green. True about sleeping on separate coasts though. Also the student’s didn’t ask her how she felt about the profsser, they asked her how she felt about marriage which of coudrse is quite a legitimte question in this day and age and she turned it into an answer that involrved the prefossr. other facts are wrong too but anyway I didn’t write to nitipck . ----i'm surprised she didn’t write stuff about the camping trip because I thought that was the best part. we decided to go camping for one night (which I figured would fill up about 14 hours and 25 minutes counting the driving; plus you can turn on the radio). it was really fun. And she made this great speech to me, that is why I’m writing it down for you. so what happened is we drive to this state park listening to this odlie’s station and she's cooking some veggire bugers onthe fire. then we were talking about this book, chapter 7, where mark is talking about me -- I’m like the case study so I’ve been trying to figure out what he says. I read part of it to her, and then I am talking about it and i said sometlhing like sure, it is true i've had a series of emotionally engaged relationships that had yielded both exaltation and sorrow, just like mark says here on page 149, --but how come i don't know aboout it? And shes said something like Marvin, what does satisfying mean? why are you looking to Mark to tell you? just decide what it means and go for it. if its not right slow down, reevaluate, and decide again. Why are you so goddamed frightened about your life? and right then it hit me .. she wasn't going by any boook!! and whatver good was going on was too good for me because i needed the books. . it was goning to be gone in just a minute. So do you knw what i did? – I sort of lost my cool. -- I actually went and blew up the tent!!. Used one of those new hide-a-bombs you can get easy on ebay. they are really quiet. even though it was astate park with other camlpers but nobody knew unless they were lookingn stratight at the tend. suddently, no tent. gone. couple of picees of aluminu. laying there. She didn't even know. cause she wasn'te dlooking tht way. minuate late4r i wished i hadn't done it. it was a pretty good tent. And so then we're eating. She looks up. hey wheres' the tent? oh great Marvin. you fuckin' blew up the tent again just like last year! So where are we going to practice doing?where are we going to do the tiedown? she was pissed. threw the burgers into the fire.,i'd only had one. then she got going. she lit into me and I'll never forget it. this is the speech. Marvin. you got potential, she said. you are smart and funny and warm. You are a fine person. But. But you fuckin’ got some blind spots. you got to figure out how to quit blowoing up lthe things you love. Look. If you get mad at me why not just go ahead and put it into the tiedown! for instance make ;it rough. i'm not such a frail lthing in this world you know. see these muscles!! -- then she slugged me. hard. -- if you are hurting me but I am not saying stop you can do what you need to! what you want to, whatever is inside yuou to do, whatever comes to mind.. i know you care about me, and I know that I make you feel sexy and i like that. and i like attention from you too! in a way i don't care too much what it is specifically. if you said this time we're not just doing one wrist we're doing both!! and then you accidently pull a muscle in me well it will heal. id' rather have a muscle healing and know how much you desire me and how frustrated you get because i'm so far away in some ways than to have you blowing up the the tent everyt camping trip. you know what is going on? you got this squirrel living in your hair. every time somehting doesn/t work it runs in one ear and into your brain and says. hey! blow it up! -- and so you do. you got to begin just ignoring that squirrel , see its just a little squirrel. it just takes a moment, then it runs away, and then another runs in: this ones hungry: hey? those burgers done yet? I say, not quite. why don't i put them on hold for awhile. wanna go into the tent?? wow! then what?? see you let that first damn bomnbsquirrel run away and we stillgot the tent! we got some fun! and we still got the burgers! helluva lot more fun than driving to some Motel 6 like where we’re gonna have to go. -- ok here's a game. next time you want to blow up the tent. do this. you say Take off all your clothes this instant --i'll remember its just a game, and maybe i will or ma=ybe i won't do it -- but then w'e got a game going. we're not just blowing things apart. then you wait and see what i do. Now I just might grab that new bomb stuff you got and blow up your car! -- yes, i just might feel that insulted. the timing was not right. you should know better than that when to play. you shoulda just let the squirrel run away without playing the game that time. i know. then you nned a new car not jsut a new tent. But you know how to get money. And think about it. think about that story! you're drinking beer with Tempel and you say, hey! guess what! i didn't blow up the tent this time. didn't blow up anything! i got her so mad playing this game she blew up my car! wouldn't know it was gone unless you were looking straight at it!! got me a brand new Jeep Eagle -- want a ride? -- that way you don't blow up nothing but Tempel’s mind. going around the block he's thinking Hmm. maybe this Marvin is smarter than i thought, if he found a way to deal with her! besides he needed a new car anyway, can't blame her if she was tired of riding in that old Honda. Ok. Ok. That might happen. But lets go back. Suppoose the timing was right. So I don't blow up your car. you say the magic words. And this time maybe i might rip off my clothes all the way to nothing and then begin to walk down to the lake. Then whats your next move? you gonna blow up the tent because i left naked? -- well you might. I could see you doing it.--but wait! you let that squirrel run away. ok. now the squirrel’s gone. Now what do you do? well now you got some options. One option is you take off your clothes and follow. --but what if somebody sees us?? isn't this a state park? is that legal? what if the troopers drive through? -- but you can't go with all your clothes on because it would make you look like a chicken.-- I went naked, scaredy-cat!—So. Are you going to go into the tent and take a nap, while i'm sitting naked by the lake?? no I don't think so. Of your options I think maybe you should whip off those pants, shirt etc., whatever you're comfortable with, the rules don't necessarily require everything, and you start dashing for the lake, --and then what?.. then on the way you suddenly have an idea, you remember its too cold for her!! and you you dive in!!!!!! and then indeed I might be in a pickle because the lake IS too cold for me, i alreadyy tried it with my toe, as you cleverly remembered, it even has some ice on it. Of course you forget about it being too cold for you too,!! or you only thought of it right after you remembered it was too cold for me, but by then you were already in mid-air. -- oh!!-- but now you're in and already warming up, not feeling so bad after all. So. So now its my problem. Am I going to sit down and sun bathe nude with all these people around having picnics?. This is a problem. you solved that problem by running and diving into the water. they might have thought it was just a deer. or a streaker like that craze in the 70s, which might be nice to start again. that was a good idea! --so they're fixing their hot dogs thinking, I guess streaking is back in, just like that naked yoga we heard about and asking, ok, now where's the mustard? But what about me?? See i still have a problem--a serious problem because I am not a streaker, I am only strolling to the lake and yet i happen to be buck naked! I didn't figure out everything in advance. maybe just should have just gone into the tent to see what you might try next like that nice neck massage last night be the fireplace. But no. So here i am walking leisurely on the path to the lake, you just whipped by me and jumped. ok only a streaker. about time for that again. but wait!! there's a naked woman walking down the path. whoa! this is going to cause problems, especialy since she obviously is a woman who has extremely lovely breasts with nice little nipples and well shaped thighs, with the shins curving smoothly down to slender ankles. All the men at the picnic now have dropped their hot dogs, and all the women are looking at the men frightened to death their own man is going to run after me. the children are just eating their hot dogs, for them walking naked is just as good as streaking, but the adults already know better and they are in shock!! and then --to make things worse-- you start screaming from the lake there's a naked woman!! call the state troopers!! and then you are screaming look out!! she has an ax!! its that tall blonde naked woman ax murderer!! run!! run!! and all the people at the picnic are running helter-skelter to their cars and one guy is whipping out his cell phone to call 911. -- Marvin you just limited my options!! i can't keep strolling because otherwise i'm going to be sitting naked in a state patrol car in two minutes. i can't decide now that i am a streaker after all and begin to streak becasue there i don't have too many options either: one, into the lake --no its too cold! two, I could run into the forest like a frightened deer but then some or many of the men would decide they should save the wild animals from this crazy blonde naked woman ax murderer who is looking for blood, any blood will do! even little squirrels might get axed! and so they run after me with their axes, so now i've got 8 men from the picnic with axes running after me through the woods trying to chop me up to save the animals and their wives rumnning desparately behind them to make sure that once they get to me they dont' change their minds!????? Marvin I don't think so!!! the other thing don't forget is time! I don’t have six days and three hours to make up my mind. time is slipping away fast. Now you are inthe lake screeaming Yes!! I read aobut it in the newspaper!! Don't get close to her!! Ddo not let her bite you!!!! -- so now they back off a bit. they are circling me. my escape back to the tent has been cut off which would have been my best option a miinute ago but i was too slow to think of it because I was listening to what you were yelling and almost starting to laugh until i rememberdd my predicament -- Damn! [I should have just said] oh sorry! excuse me! I forgot my bathrobe! -- oh Marvin [i should have yelled out to you] quit playing that stupid game again! --see if only i'd done that!!!!! then things would have been different because then they would realize that i was only going to the bathrooms but am a new camper and forgot that I nee/ded to put on my bathrobe first. They would have sympathy for me and then they start eating again and i go back to the tent and get in and peek out to see what is going on because don't forget -- --the story wouldn’t be over yet!!--. Because you’d still be standing in the lake! And the lake is cold. you have been screaming at the top of your lungs that there is a buck naked crazy blonde female ax murderer with botulism and some unknown sign of the devil on her head, and you have not only used up all your air for several hours, you also are coughing and sneezing; And worse. what used to be a slight warming feeling for you now has changed back to cooler. wait. you can't feel anything!! your legs are stiff. you are the streaker who dived in the lake, that is cool! about time for that again! but now you are the half dressed or completelly naked man standing already half dead in the lake and besides all that you are a man who plays stupid games on his girlfriend who is a new camper from the city who probably already is very frightened because of all the wild animals living nearby in the woods, and possibly going to jump out at any minute, which is why she forgot her bathrobe -- -- and so what, my dear Marvn, I ask you: what is your nexgt move going to be?!!! Before you consider your other options i think you better get out of the lake pretty quick since frostbite is not a laughing matter. so go. but wait. you can't walk! your legs are stiff. they won't even move! so now you are this horrible man standing frozen in the the lake, a terrifying monument of all men everywhere who scare their girlfriends from the city by waking them up in the middle of the night making imaginary bear noises. wait! it moved! you only had to try harder. ok. good. now you are walking. but don't forget. you are walking naked out of the lake with stiff legs. even the children, whose minds normally are quite open about what to do at lakes, are somewhat surprised to see this, first of all because it doesn't look that great. i mean you are a very extremely handsome and well built man Marvin but you hafve been in the lake for ten minutes now, which could have been shortermaybe if you hadn;t thouyght of all those cute new things to say about the naked lady, but it was quite a while for this lake in April as a matter of fact and your teeth are chattering, you are shivering, your skin is blue, your cock shriveld up tinier than a peanut, you are covered with goose pimples, and your legs are so stiff you have to walk like a naked nazi goose-stepping in slow motion. hey look children! his slow motion walk! it matches his goose pimples!! -- is that what the mothers are saying? are they saying, children! let us go now and goose that man with these hot dogs in order to achieve a threeway semantic convergence? No! that is not what they are saying Mr. Belzer! they are glaring at you, a horrible ugly creature. the men have their axes ready. and don't forget something. the state troopers are on their way!! i think you better hurry and even then there still might be some questions to answer later on... but here. youd finally made it back to the tent. remember we still have the tent in this story. And then I’d grab you and pull you into the sleeping bag with me let me warm you up sweetie i never saw anything funnier in my life than you yelling from the lake. we are shaking and shivering together now because you got me just as cold as if i'd jumped in the lake which sort of leaves you on top of this round. -- no! i want to be on top for awhile!.. Marvin please please please lets just forget about that one scenario where i was surrounded by ax murderers. i hope you would have come and saved me somehow. would you?? and you say maybe. – Do you see my point here?----- * So tthat was her speech. And by this time she had got up on the picnic table and was yelling it by the time she was done. Plus she had discarded sevral articles of clothing that needed to be discarded in order to illustrate the speech as it proceeded. There were some children from the next campsite by our fire, they had come over to listen to her speech. At first i was sitting on the bench, then i was crying and shaking on the ground, it was so funny. It had begun to drizzle while she talked. There was water streaming right down her face. She saw the kids standing in the rain and put her tshirt back on and said, don't worry aboaut him, kids. he got bit by the laughing bugs. wanna' roast marshmallows? Let’s get this fire going again— Later we were driving to the Motel 6 and she says, listen, baby. I know how to do it. lets play it this way. no means no. stop means stop. someone says the magic formula and the game starts./ the first person to blow up something loses that round. how about that? first one to ten buys the other a new car. -- Deal?"-- So we made that deal. so that’s the deal. I might not’a got all the speech exactly right but that was the genreal idea. [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |
| Subject | Author | Date |
| Nearly died laughing! | Dawn | 23:36:20 05/03/05 Tue |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, great story .......... | Naked, cold and shivering | 09:20:28 05/04/05 Wed |
|
||
| Rock frickin on!! | Guy | 23:13:47 05/11/05 Wed |