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Date Posted: 15:11:20 10/12/16 Wed
Author: Dine Petersoon (yahoo! it's spam!)
Subject: Yahoo! Try Not To Be Rude or Irritable Toward Yandex Scammer, sweangelln@yandex.com

Better Together: Yahoo and Yandex

promise, will not reveal national security letters

Have you too much money to feel secure? Well, the National Security Agency (NSA) and Central Intelligence Agency (CIA), in cooperation with the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA) "Court", now stand ready to offer some very discrete help.

In fact, that help is so discreet that you are not even allowed to discuss it. Just keep your mouth shut. The First Amendment does not apply when you are in the big leagues, and CIA/NSA/FISA are in the big leagues along with the Treasury Police.

You are not allowed to complain because that would reveal that there is something the Three-Letter Agencies want to keep secret. Trust us, we're from the government, and we're here to help ourselves to whatever you have!

With these sound precepts in mind, you will be glad to know that Yahoo and Yandex may or may not be subject to secret warrants. You are not allowed to ask, and if you were allowed to ask you would not be allowed to have the answer.

However, we are allowed to announce the joing marketing and fiscal defenestration opportunity. The sum of $2,200,000.00 is waiting for you, in genuine U.S. make-believe money. You can pretend to collect this by sending real money to one of the authorized operating agents:

Remember, if we wanted your opinion, we would tell you. So please keep your pie-hole shut tightly to avoid flies and undesirable foreign agents. Unless you are a terrorist, of course.

best guarantees in the business
Yahoo two-way warranty:
  1. No refunds!
  2. No how!
the Yandex yawn:
  • Your money is gone?
  • That's a shame.
Illustration does not depict any of the Yahoos, Yandexes, or government agents involved in any part of the operation or its monitoring. Use at own risk. Do not consume alcoholic beverage due to limited supply. Disclaimer may be incomplete. It would violate the Espionage Act if we were to tell you that James Comey was a weasel; even repeating the information could turn you into a dangerous foreign spy. Also, there is no loophole for asking someone, "Is Mr. Comey a weasel", any more than there would be for asking "Is Mr. Trump a three-time bankrupt who tried to steal an old lady's house for limo parking at his gambling hell?" Just quit being nosy.


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