Three years ago. "As time goes by" -- The Cadaverous Odor of Our Decaying Gene Pool

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Date Posted: 02:18:51 05/16/04 Sun
Author: Brain
Subject: Three years ago. "As time goes by"
In reply to: Rev. William Moore 's message, "Re: Congratulation CRACKpot!" on 22:16:01 05/15/04 Sat

>btw, are you good terms still in touch with robin etc?

Of course I am in good terms with Robin and of course I not in touch with her. I told Robin goodbye and my word is sacred!

This is the last I have exchanged with Robin at the Garden:

Subject: Robin, good-bye
Date Posted: 23:19:23 05/15/01 Tue
Author:
Brain

Hi Robin,
The time has come to say good-bye, and this time it�s forever. No human being in this world deserves to be treated by another human being like you and Steve have treated me with your �silent treatment� and your �cold shoulder�. It�s in no way better than Tommy�s mom treated Tommy. BUT, I am not Tommy to willingly except my destruction and while being crucified by your silent treatment and your cold shoulder to smile and ask for more.

The material that my world is built out of is honesty, pride, being decent and straight forward. Treating people with Love and respect. In my world there is no place for playing mind games for only one reason and that is to hurt friends. When my friend does something wrong I tell that to my friend and NOT pull out the arsenal of silent treatmentS and the cold shoulderS for only one purpose, and that is to hurt and create pain.

But you Robin, don�t need no true friends who tell you honestly and straight forward what�s wrong, you surround yourself only with people who you can manipulate and make them into your little puppets who you can easily manipulate and play mind games with. Since I am not emotionally blocked and insecure, there is *NO* way in this world that you could manipulate me, or corrupt me, or make out of me one of your little puppets. This scares you because all of a sudden you find yourself in a situation where you have NO control whatsoever over me or my actions.

I don�t blame you for you being the way you are, because the reason why you are the way you are is because all of your life you were manipulated by others, used as a puppet, and to that manipulation you react in a way by trying desperately to manipulate others, to finally get out of manipulation by manipulating others. The easy way out, the blue pill, the drugs, the alcohol, �men� that whisper all the lies in you ear for only one reason and that is to �Fu*k you sinlessly�.

There�s nothing you wouldn�t do to escape, run away, from a reality that�s ugly only because you let monsters use you and take advantage of you.

There is a way out for you, out of the hell that you are in right now, that others have created for you by you letting them create it for you. And the first step is to tell all the liars, deceivers, manipulators, fake friends, and other conmen NO. No more lies, no more mind games, no more deception, no more hiding.

This Robin is your last chance, the last train, for you to wake up. If not, in 10-15 years from now the only friend that is going to be left over will be an empty bottle of whisky.

Robin, I don�t go in anger, I go in pain, but time heals all the wounds and just like I will heal from the wounds that I have let Steve create for me, the same way I will heal from the wounds that I did let you create for me. I will definitely be OK, don�t need for you to worry:)

I hope that you understand my honesty for it�s only motive is to help you get out of your hell you are in right now. It�s not too late for you Robin yet, to create a change in your life that will lead to fulfilment of all your dreams.

Robin, I wish you the very best luck, and tons of happiness for your future from the bottom of my heart :)

Good-bye Robin
Love

Brain

Subject: Re: Robin, good-bye
Date Posted: 14:44:56 05/16/01 Wed
Author:
Robin

Hello Brain

I don't have a clue as to what this post is about Brain, maybe you didn't know my computer was/is broken? Once in a while I use the computers at the library but they only allow me to use them for 30 min. so I don't have time to read most of the posts on this board and do the other thing I have to do when I finally get on a computer. Anyway I printed your post because its too long for me to read and reply to right now, I simply don't have the time. Next time I'm here ( at the library) I will reply.

I would like to say, I don't know where you got the idea that my life was hell? Is much closer to heaven then hell, in fact its been so good and so busy and so full of open doors it almost seems surreal and magical.

Maybe soon I'll get my computer fixed, I just haven't had much interest in or time for computer life.

Love,
Robin

I will read your post and give it much thought and I will get back to you on it...

Love,
Robin

Subject: Re: Robin, good-bye
Date Posted: 03:37:45 05/17/01 Thu
Author:
Brain

Hi Robin,
The reason why I reply to your post is that I don�t have the right to complain about the silent treatment and the cold shoulder and then pay you back with the same coin. Every human being in this world deserves to know what went wrong, and by letting you go without an explanation would be cruel of me and that simply ain�t me.

Computers do break down, I know, and that ain�t nothing unusual. That�s not the problem Robin. If you read your post you could figure out what the problem is. The problem is our different concepts of what friendship is.

I try to share as much as I can with my friends. When there are bad things going on in my life, or when good things are going on in my life, I tell this to my friends. I communicate to them, and they communicate to me. There are friends, people who I tell what�s up with me, and also with and them, and there are strangers, people who I try to inform as little as possible. Friendship is a two way street, it�s communication.

This Robin is not about who is right and who is wrong, because we both are right. Remember when I wanted to survive and had to initiate some changes in my life when Tommy said that you are worried about me? You were worried about me, but you did not email me and tell me straight forward what you are worried about. You did see me approach some kind of danger from your perspective, but you did not warn me about the danger I am in. I don�t remember if you had computer problem back then because it�s irrelevant. If you cared, you could have contacted me through the phone, and if you don�t have the money to pay for the phone, you could have asked me to phone you. You know, friends go to the phone and simply talk about what�s on their mind. Friends when they see a friend in danger, they warn their friend about the danger. Friends Robin, when life becomes magical and beautify share their happiness with friends (remember when I told you after the earthquake that life will change for you towards better :). When friends lose interest in the Internet they talk about their lose of interest. You ask: �I don't know where you got the idea that my life was hell?�. I can tell you where I got it from. I got it from speculating because you did not inform me what�s going on.

This Robin is not a small problem like if you were a Christian and me anti Christian and we argue what�s better to be a Christian or anti Christian and we resolve the problem by deciding to not talk about Christianity. This problem cannot be resolved because the expectations that you have, and the expectation that I have, are diametrically opposite. In order for me to be happy I need dialogue, exchange of opinions. In order for you to be happy you need to exchange as little as possible, to keep as much as you can for yourself.
I did try for the last two years as hard as I could to make the friendship between you and me, and Steve and me to work, and I must admit that I have failed. I don�t regret it at all for trying, because I know beyond any doubt that it was worth all the effort, because in case it would had worked you Steve and I could have been great friends for life. I don�t regret for trying but I am very sorry that I�ve failed.

Everything I told you at the message board and through email starting with my first email to you when I talked about Gahndi, Mother Theresa and Jesus Christ, to the email when I told you about the hardest decision that I ever made, to who my grand, grand uncle is, to the last email where I told you who and why I am who I am (from my point of view) is the truth to the best of my knowledge.

I cannot and would never ever ask you or anybody else to change for me, or because of me, and I hope that you Robin understand that there is nothing that I or you could do to change the reality in a way that would go in accordance with your concept of happiness and in accordance with my concept of happiness. I also hope that you know how hard this decision was for me to make, but when the battle is lost, the only thing one can do is to capitulate :( That�s life, always honest, but sometimes extremely brutal :(

I was honest to you since the day A, and I am honest to you now at our day Z. I have erased your email address and hope that you do the same with mine. In few days I will erase the link to your message board and will never ever be coming back.

I will always Love and respect you Robin, and always be thankful to you for opening the door to my world, and will keep you in the best memory as long as I live :)

The time has come to finally say good bye (for the third time. Had to do the number game the last time :). May God and your Guardian Angel always be with you and guide you throughout your entire life :) :) :)

Love you lots

Brain
http://people.freenet.de/brain/Newangel.jpg

Subject: Re: Robin, good-bye
Date Posted: 11:47:05 05/18/01 Fri
Author:
Robin

Hello again :)

After I posted to you yesterday I felt bad that I didn't tell you that I am sorry I haven't kept in touch, honestly Brain I really don't know what to say to you.

I also was a bit upset at how you used my weaknesses against me to say good-bye. I could say that friends don't do things like that but in the "real" world they do.Friends are the ones that hurt you most cause they are the ones that know you best therefor what hurts the most.There also the ones that teach you unconditional love and tolerance and patience.

If you feel like communicating with me is bad for you I understand and I wish you all the best. Still I'll never understand unecessary good-byes or people who say good-bye because I don't live up to THEIR expectations. I am as I am...

Love,
Robin

Brain
Diana Krall, The Girl in the Other Room: Time is made from honey, slow and sweet

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Replies:

Re: Three years ago. "As time goes by" -- Rev. William Moore, 21:48:22 05/16/04 Sun
- The Garden Message Board link: -- Brain, 06:58:11 05/23/04 Sun
  - What comes to mind is: -- Brain, 08:06:06 05/23/04 Sun