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Date Posted: 21:16:25 02/03/06 Fri
Author: Kathryn Cintron
Subject: For baby Julien

My little boy, its been 7 months since you were ripped from my heart, still born at 41 weeks. For a brief peroid, i thought that it was getting better. but it hasnt. the past two nights have been almost as bad a the first few weeks. i cant seem to stop crying for you. things are supposed to be good. we found out we are having another baby. but nothing takes away the pain of losing you. i still see you beautiful face fresh in my memory. the ordeal of losing you is still fresh in my mond, like it happened yesterday. i guess thats because the past 7 months have been like one, long terrible day. nothing has meaning anymore. my days and nights are no longer seperate. i just sleep. your daddy cried for you so much in the beginning, and took care of me, then over the past month, it has just gone away. sometimes i feel like he doesnt even think about you, cause he doesnt talk about you, but it may be hard for him. i wish you were here Julien, life would be so different. life is so empty. i just sit alone, at night, wide eyed, thinking and crying about you. i am so sorry that i couldnt protect you from the pain you went thru. please forgive, because i dont think i will ever be able to forgive myself. i love you, love, mommy

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