Re: Getting my children married -- ExUBF's Parlor_Free wheel as far as u can from UBF

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Date Posted: 11:34:45 11/05/04 Fri
Author: Joe
Subject: Re: Getting my children married
In reply to: Hannah 's message, "Re: Getting my children married" on 21:41:25 11/04/04 Thu

>It's interesting to see you think like this.
>Especially when your kids are so young.
>Let your kids be exposed. Being sheltered is the
>worst, because I think the outcomes turn out bad.

As I stated at the top of the thread, I've obviously ruled out UBF or even UBF-style deranged marriage for my kids.

My son's 6, so yeah, he's young, But it's only a matter of 3-5 years before he starts being subject to peer pressure of the wrong kind. I went to public elementary school in the north side of Chicago, in a very working class, sometimes rough neighborhood. So I have an idea of the kinds of peer pressure my kids could be exposed to.

>Well
>I'm sure you went through your crazy teenager stage.
>Being attracted to someone of the opposite sex is
>almost unavoidable.

I did go through that stage, but my parents never knew it nor did they seem to take interest in what I was doing after school or at friends' houses.

I'm trying to fulfill the mission of parenthood that my parents pretty much neglected.

>While they're growing up, let them know you trust them
>and that they can trust you. Courting.. isn't it when
>they know that they are going to get married, so they
>are just "seeing" each other, but no physical contact.
>Dating is more so of the secular society, but I could
>be wrong.

There are certain parties in society today that seem bent on destroying the meaning and value of marriage, whether intentional or not. I've read that Christian parents should try to instill in their kids the meaning, value and seriousness of marriage. That's probably more important than rules about dating and/or courtship.

I went out on one date, in college. I slipped out of the UBF Sunday "Super Bowl" meeting to do that. That was it for me as far as dating goes. So, it's tempting to allow my kids something that was forbidden for me, to a certain degree.

I've read about courtship, which is being pushed today by the home schooling Christian crowd starting with Joshua Harris. Courtship has its merits, and it's fundamentally different from UBF deranged marriage. But in its extreme forms, it's quite complicated with many rules, a throwback to the era of Jane Austen or even earlier; I'm not sure I want to go there.

>Praying is definately the best way, AND talk to them
>when they're in junior high!

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Replies:

Re: Getting my children married -- Chris, 01:27:12 11/06/04 Sat