Re: let the record show- exactly -- the message board times 86-2

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Date Posted: 20:20:42 04/21/02 Sun
Author: confused
Subject: Re: let the record show- exactly
In reply to: crysta 's message, "let the record show- exactly" on 13:43:04 04/21/02 Sun

This poem explains how what I say drives you crazy,
because when I speak,
you only hear what you want to hear
and not what is actually said.

"'when you can use someone
to fulfill a need.'
USE? NEED? what happened to sharing?"

What I said was
being Honest
and
Using someone
are opposites.
I chose Honesty.
Not to mention, you should know that
I spoke more of sharing,
of equal opportunity
than you.

"'who only walks behind the smoke
to shield her eyes from the truth.'
I can agree with you there, what truth?"

The truth unleashed by my honesty.
You would rather have never known
the truths I've told you.
If you still don�t know �what truth,�
then you�re only proving
me correct.

"'my pride swallowing humbleness
trying only to give her the moral satisfaction
which i thought she deserved,'
Yes, you're always the victim. I don't see where you
came up with that one. Moral satisfaction? You were
trying to GIVE that to me?"

You are the one who
always calls me the victim.
Only once
through sarcasm
did ever say I'm a victim
to you.
Humbling moral satisfaction:
Didn't you notice with past several emails that all I tried to do was please you? Is the anger and hatred in your mind blinding your eyes from seeing someone who realized he wronged you and swallowed his pride just to make you happy, because he's afraid you'll only hurt yourself if he fights back?
Didn�t you notice that after all the times you told me I �take things too seriously,� the one time I didn�t, you called and cancelled our dinner date on my birthday because I was �being so mean�?
Didn�t you notice that after you sent me that aggressive email depicting all the bad characteristics you gave me, I didn�t argue back? Didn�t I bow down and praise you for �figuring me out,� saying you should be proud of yourself for being the new age Sherlock Holmes?

��insult me.
put me down.
slap me in the face.
push me to the ground.�
Don't forget to ignore your insults directed towards me.�

You know, you said this once before
and when I asked what I said was insulting,
you wouldn�t tell me.
If I don�t know what I said that was insulting,
I can�t apologize for it
no matter how much I want to.

��do your worst with my feelings.
it still won't change the fact
that there will always be a place for you in my life
should you ever want to come back.�
No matter what, you will always be hurt by me, and you
will continue to let me in. Then you will constantly
complain about the pain. PUSH ME AWAY.�

I never pushed you away.
You walked away.
I don�t know how I complain about the pain
and I guess I never will,
because the one person who knows,
is keeping it a secret.
I wasn�t always hurt by you,
but when I was,
it was only because
I didn�t know you.
But I know you now
more than ever.

�Look, we've already established the fact that we're
alot like eachother. I see bad things in you that I
also see in myself. I can't fix myself, and take it
from you at the same time. I can't try to fix you.
Everything leads to frustration.�

I never asked you to �fix� me.
I can do that on my own.
But that which I do not know is broken,
cannot be fixed.
Your aggressive email
struck me deep, and I realized that some of things you said
were true.
And I�ve been working to change them.
You talk about frustration.
Frustration is�

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Replies:

grrr... -- crysta, 22:18:29 04/21/02 Sun
- Re: grrr... -- confused, 05:13:34 04/22/02 Mon
- and you ARE cool. i've told you that. but my opinions don't matter. (NT) -- confused, 05:21:42 04/22/02 Mon