Your a Puck Bunny -- Brampton Battalion Gossip

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Date Posted: 15:42:15 04/24/06 Mon
Author: N/A
Subject: Your a Puck Bunny

1. You go to every hockey game in your local town to scout out the hockey boys, mainly because you know we are the God's of your universe.

2. You dress up like a 2$ Hooker but think you look good enough to walk on Broadway. This is a misconception your feeble minds possess. You look like a slut, don't be fooled.

3. You have little or no knowledge of the game of hockey, but if asked why you go to the game you immediately chirp back that you only go cause you love the game. Give you�re filthy heads a shake, you are a stinky puck slut that only wants some massive domination by the hockey cock.

4. Your life sucks. You seek to improve your social status by hanging out with the hockey lads, so you can tell your friends you know us personally. You tell people you are best friends with us, meanwhile we just want to stuff your pussies like a thanksgiving turkey.

5. You dream of one day improving your crappy standard of life by marrying a hockey player and not having to work. No documented cases have been reported of any players marrying a puck slut. Again, we seek only to dominate your pussy, and then throw you to the curb like a faulty hubcap on the Interstate. Accept this fact of life. We will marry a model later on when we are loaded, and you will still be poor and live a shitty life.

6. You log on to www.JuniorHockeyBible.com to learn about the filthy ways of us hockey players. You know what we do, but still want to ride our huge towers of power. This makes you dumb, and us happy, and ultimately reinforcing your status as a dumb puck slut.

7. You know all the local watering holes where the lads hang out, you know our billet's addresses and phone numbers. You are some what of a glorified stalker, but we will feed you some meat. Just don't get attached, unless you are prime meat. Do not acknowledge us unless first acknowledged by us in a public setting. Even if this happens, keep talking to a minimal. You have a job to do in the bedroom, concentrate your efforts on that role.

8. You have been Lamb roasted (please reference the JHB) by two or more players on the team. This is your baptism into becoming a full fledged puck slut. But don't be fooled, you are not our friend and certainly not respected by the team. You have become another classic story for the boys.

9. You have bleached hair, and somewhat of a sloth like appearance. A recent poll found that 80% of puck sluts are legally documented War Pigs. The other 20% are closet whores who are decent to get a gummer from.

10. You�re a psycho. you think you can change a hockey player into a nice guy. That's like trying to take the spots off a Leopard. You will call and harass us after banging you --note STOP THIS HARRASEMENT. We do not like you, know your fucking roles you greasy pig of a woman

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Replies:

Re: Your a Puck Bunny -- girl, 15:17:27 04/26/06 Wed
- Re: Your a Puck Bunny -- me, 19:19:53 04/26/06 Wed
  - Re: Your a Puck Bunny -- battalion fan(kasey), 17:54:09 01/18/07 Thu