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Date Posted: 14:13:36 01/27/09 Tue
Author: Anonymous Me
Subject: Why didn't I do this sooner?

Phimosis. Why didn't I take care of this sooner?


As a child, my parents told me not to touch my penis except when I am urinating. When I was going through puberty, instead of a talk about what sex is all about, my father routinely asked me to make sure I am NOT masturbating, because this is a sin to him. I lied and said no, but I was, albeit painfully at first, as my foreskin was like a pinhole at the end.

I lost my virginity at 16. Never had sex without a condom with my first sexual partner, and didn't have pain during sex. I did end up going to the hospital with an infection which only affected the tip of the foreskin about 2 or 3 times, each time I was told something different. The first time, they thought I had an STD, test results came back negative. The second time, it was the same thing, test results negative. The third time I was told that I am allergic to the chemicals used in most lubricants. In neither of these 3 instances did the doctor notice that my foreskin could not contract.

With my second sexual partner, I ended up with paraphimosis one day (age 19). I ended up going to the hospital the next day. The time from sexual intercourse up until I saw a medical student (not even a fully licensed doctor!) was extremely painful, as my foreskin remained retracted for a good 12 hours. The medical student told me that the only solution was circumcision, which terrified me to the point of not taking the referral to see a urologist. I didn't even know that the foreskin was supposed to retract.

So I waited until now to actually go through the trouble of getting the referral to see a urologist. I'm 22 years old. My appointment is in two days, and I am excited to be rid of this extremely annoying problem. The most recent problem this has caused has been a problem urinating. Since about 16 or 17 I've had the problem of a slight drip after urination, which I have had to absorb into toilet paper so that it doesn't drip onto my clothes and cause them to smell of urine. This quick fix has worked up until now. More recently, as I have suffered a knee injury and was until recently extremely immobile for a long period of time, this problem has gotten worse, as I could not get to the washroom very quickly. Now every time I urinate, it drips. I absorb as much as possible with toilet paper (in public I do this discretely to avoid my peers asking questions), but it still drips very slightly for a while after urinating. This has caused me to be reluctant to use the washroom in public unless I absolutely need to. I'm a technician for a play which is running right now, and I cannot leave my post for 4 hours every night. By the end of the show, I feel very anxious to get as far away from the people I work with as possible so I can go through my annoying ritual, and bow my head in shame.

I could've resolved this 3 years ago were I not misinformed! I was told that circumcision is the only solution. This isn't true! Why didn't they tell me that there are other less invasive surgical procedures to solve this? I want to keep my foreskin, but I want it to retract. I feel cheated by my parents, by health professionals who misinformed me, and by a lack of education about this issue. It's such a simple problem to fix.

So, why didn't I get this resolved sooner? Embarrassment? Shame? Misinformation?

It's frustrating. I havn't had sex in two years. Last year I came close to having sex several times, to find that my erection would go away by the time foreplay is over. This year, with my knee injury, I've stopped even trying. I do my laundry way too often, and I always have to shower at the right time of day before I leave so I can worry less about how I smell.

Why aren't people educated about this?

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