Author:
The Enforcer
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Date Posted: 10:32:59 02/16/02 Sat
The scene opens to the outside of the HWA arena. There
is a huge banner than reads, "Daytona 500, Sunday February 17!
GOD BLESS LIL' E..." signed "The Enforcer". The camera cuts to
inside the arena. The Enforcer walks out to the a great cheer by the
fans. He is wearing a black cowboy hat, a dark blue works shirt with the
sleeves ripped off with a patch of the American flag. He has on black
jeans and a work boots. He puts the mic up to his mouth.
Lord, We ask your Blessing, On the race
we are about to begin, and on the drivers, who will challenge each other on the
speedway. Watch over them and let them be enriched by the challenge.
Ride with them, and guide their hands and hearts. Bring them, each and
everyone of them safely, to the checkered flag. As you guide us all in our
journey towards life's checkered flag.
Amen.
Who is gonna watch the Daytona 500 tomorrow?
The crowd lets up a big cheer as he
makes his way tot he ring. He steps up onto the apron and steps between
the middle and top rope. He goes over to the far turnbuckle and takes of
seat on top of it.
Last year we had a great tragedy and
suffered a tremendous loss at the death of Dale Earnhardt. The legends
remains through story and more importantly through his son, Lil' E, may he live
a long and successful life. I guess I should talk about something more
upbeat for this crowd though. Who do you want to win the 500?
The fans hold signs that say Dale
Earnhardt Jr., Michael Waltrip, Kenny Wallace, The Enforcer, and Rusty
Wallace.
Well, all right... Let me tell you, I had
a great Valentine's day... I mean it was fabulous! Marcey is great... let
me tell ya! Who wants to bet that Dante and Jason had an equally good
Valentine's day... probably spent with a pizza, tissues, and a scrambled television
show... But we're not here to talked about love lives or lack of for that
matter... at least I'm not... I want to talk about something bigger than
that. I know you all are thinking, what's bigger than The Enforcer's...
love life? I'll tell you, Sean's recent comments... I was hurt and distraught
after hearing what he said to me, but instead of lying around crying about it,
I've decided to stand up and do something! Sean, get the Asian women off
you're feet or wherever they are, tell Ben to leave you're water alone, get the
flare out of your hair and listen good... listen real good because I'm going to
tell you a little fairy tale... those are at your level... right? Here I
go...
Once upon a time, in a land not to far
away, there was a prince... his name was Poco
Loco, the prince of HWA. One
day, while the prince was asked by a superhero, Johnny
to join a elite group of
men... him, and a man name Sean, He did... they had fun and they saved the
HWA from trash and low life scum... the kind of scum that uses bad analogies and
have people do their hair and hold their phones... yeah, those kind of
people! Then, when things were peaking, Johnny left them... The superhero
faded away like the athlete past his prime that he was. Then there were
two, and while The Prince had his head turned, Sean stabbed him in the back with
a rubber nose! This ruined Poco Loco forever....
Poco Loco had to die...
he couldn't stand the rubber nose in his back... it
KILLED him! However,
out of the ashes from that crazy Prince came a new breed of man, dedicated to
keeping low lives from getting to far in the HWA and stopping old women from
getting their purses stolen.
In case you didn't get it, let me
clarify! I WAS THE PRINCE, POCO LOCO... YOU ARE SEAN AND THE CLOWNS HAVE
LEFT YOU! Now what are you... the self proclaimed god of HWA? Let me tell
you, that doesn't mean shit until you prove it... something you haven't done
much of. But I don't blame you, I wouldn't prove it either if I were to
busy getting my "water tasted" like you are! Sean, I don't know
why you think I want a match with you... I'm not so sure I even want to touch a
lazy, hair-getting-done, Benedict Arnold like yourself... But if you want ever
take a notion to prove yourself to the HWA, well give me a call... or better
yet, have Ben make the call for you... you lazy punk.
He
jumps off of the turnbuckle onto the floor. He tosses he mic to the time
keeper and walks up the ramp.
By
the way, I forgot to ask, Did you like your Valentine's day present?
Up
on the big screen the picture comes up.
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