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Fri, March 14 2025, 10:45:01 2025MT-6 [ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4 ]

"I'm in the process of removing posts from the Spoof on Other boards as an additional sign of peace."
Oldie-November 17, 2005

From Marble Falls, Texas, it's all Oldie, all the time.

Oldie, the star of our show

Come here little girl, try my Marlboro Red. Or if you don't want it, maybe your 43 year old mother does.

The Texas Loon (Loonus Texicanus)

Description: Although outwardly displaying a normal-sized head this bird has an unusually tiny brain. It can sometimes be observed hopping about in search of food and succor. Its insatiable appetite leads it to other flocks of smaller birds which may be feeding in its territory. Once the Texas Loon alights in a field it gives off an aura similar to a halo around its head and then proceeds to strut like a peacock. Voice: A legendary predatory bird, the Texas Loon will swoop down on the smaller birds catching some in its beak whereby it rips the feathers from its prey, tossing its carcass aside before letting out a bloodcurdling sound which resembles that of a hyena. The Texas Loon gives out a harsh sound when alarmed, something like "bringemon, bringemon!" But when confronted face-to-face, it acts more like the Yellow-Bellied Sapsucker, rarely fighting its own battles, choosing flight instead. Habitat: Unlike many species in the animal kingdom, the Texas Loon breeds with the sickest and weakest of its kind, baffling evolutionists' theories of selective breeding. It has been suggested that this bird proves the opposite of the accepted school of thought that only the fittest survive, when in fact, it suggests, astonishingly, evolution in reverse. But in another sense, it gives credence to Stephen J. Gould's theory of "punctuated equilibrium," meaning that there can be sudden, backward leaps as it were, to a lower form of life. Nesting: Though the Texas Loon makes many attempts at nesting, sometimes laying multiple eggs in a single day, it all-too-often fouls its own nest. This habit, again contravening conventional and acceptable theories of animal behavior, confirms the notion that reverse evolution is occurring. Range: Generally moves from areas near Waco and Crawford, Texas to Washington, DC and has been observed in parts of Maine, namely Kennebunkport. Occasionally the Texas Loon gets caught up in the trade winds and ends up in Old Europe, where it's odious habits and behavior are generally repelled.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/articles/04/04/21_birds.html


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