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There is something truly special about the coming of a New Year. Another
twelve months present the perfect opportunity to start over, transform or change
your self in some way. Regardless of what you resolve to do, be it to improve
your health, develop better relationships with friends, make a job change or
even see a part of the world you’ve been dreaming about, everything is within
the realm of possibility if you say so.
The important question then becomes “why do New Years resolutions go
unfulfilled?” Is it because they are too ambitious? I don’t think so. At the
beginning of the year you are full of optimism, excitement and hope. The
thoughts and words you use to describe your resolutions reflect positive tones
as you say, “I can do this” or “I believe I can do it this year.” You even tell
your closest friends how excited you are about what you are going to accomplish.
Then, as the days and months progress your enthusiasm fades and you find
yourself making excuses and being apologetic for not pursuing your goals, saying
things like “I just can’t find the time” or by thinking “I am just too tired
today.”
Has anything really happened to make your resolutions unachievable? Yes,
you’re “self-talk.” You simply talked yourself right out of your resolutions.
“Self-talk” is what you think and say about yourself, both in your head and in
conversations with others. In order to fully manifest your resolutions, your
“self-talk” must be completely in sync with them. A congruency of “self-talk”
and action helps you maintain the attitude, drive and motivation to keep moving
forward, even in the face of adversity and procrastination. Here are some things
you can do to get your “self-talk” on the right path and manifest your
resolutions.
Be clear about your resolutions. The quickest route to what you want
is a straight line. When you create resolutions you are unsure about, your
“self-talk” will eventually sabotage your efforts by chipping away at your
motivation and enthusiasm. Having clarity about your resolution instills greater
focus, ignites passion and enhances self-confidence. You become more willing to
design, monitor and use “self-talk” to support you every step of the way.
Choosing not to make a resolution is better than making one you aren’t willing
to stand behind. With time and patience you will decide upon and fully support
changes that are perfect for you.
Become familiar with the “self-talk” you are using now. “Self-talk”
is something you use all the time. Whether it takes a positive or a negative
direction is up to you. Being alert to the kind of “self-talk” you use allows
you to discover and defy its negative nature and see that it maintains proper
alignment with what you are doing to achieve your resolutions.
Consciously design “self-talk.” Use “self-talk” that is positive and
on track by consciously designing supportive statements that begin with words
such as “I am”, “I can”, “I will” and “I intend.” These words build confidence,
motivate and reinforce your intentions. Drop statements that begin with “I
can’t”, “I don’t” and “I’ll try” from your “self-talk” vocabulary. In order to
succeed in reaching your resolutions you must always speak of yourself and what
you are doing in a positive way, regardless of the circumstances.
Keep your “self-talk” moving in a positive direction. Adversity is a
natural part of life. It’s been said that people should be judged not by their
successes, but by how they handled their adversities. When adversity strikes,
instead of beating yourself up about what happened, respond with positive
“self-talk” that inspires you to work through it, such as “I am strong enough to
get through this and get back on track.” What’s important is to keep your
“self-talk” moving in a positive direction and focus on what you can control-
the way you feel, how you respond and the attitude you maintain.
“Self-talk” is the most amazing force you have for creating the life you
envision. Words have the potential to build or destroy and influence everything
you experience. However one thing holds true, when you support yourself in every
moment, life doesn’t seem so difficult. This is the power of “self-talk.”
Michael J. Russ is an avid golfer and passionate speaker. He has authored
several audio books on the mental aspects of golf, life and sales. His titles
include "Powerful Golf", "Powerful Self-Talk" and "Powerful Sales"and his latest
"Design Your Life" for young adults. For more information on these titles please
visit www.powerfulliving.org .