Re: I'm either retarded or phsyco! -- Unofficial Chris Cornell Forum

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Date Posted: 11:17:04 01/26/06 Thu
Author: tg
Subject: Re: I'm either retarded or phsyco!
In reply to: lump 's message, "I'm either retarded or phsyco!" on 10:02:50 01/26/06 Thu

I said "maybe" you're too nosy. I was trying to find a reason as to why he wouldn't trust you.

Now that I read more, it sounds like he doesn't share himself with you. Not knowing his friends and such. Do you do alot seperately? Are all his friends who are in relationships the sameway, they don't do things with their girlfriends/spouses? It's always the guys getting together.(that type of thing) If it is, then I would say that's a hard habit to break.

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[> [> Re: I'm either retarded or phsyco! -- lump, 11:43:39 01/26/06 Thu [1]

They're all single. That does bother me.

He works in the evenings and I work in the days, so things have to be a little seperate. I had demanded back in November that he quit going to the bars (and to be honest, I only meant with them - if he wanted to go with some of our married friends I'd be fine with it). What are single guys looking for in bars - hello!? I was also sick of him telling me about this girl or that that came on to him. Anyhow, he's done that and you don't know how thankful I am for that. He even told me that I needed to speak up more often and that he liked that I did.

So, all the partying (daily) is going on at my house. When I'm in bed at night. I don't mind so much when the guys are all down there playing pool in the basement.

OK, but you want to know why I'm being nosey though.

I think I posted and you replied to him playing pool in the basement with some biatch 2 days after my Grandma passed away and I was sleeping on the couch? This after being told he couldn't be my best friend and that he though girls and guys couldn't be friends. Anyhow, my birthday was shortly after that. He took the day off and was supposed to take me out for dinner. No one was home when I got home. Then he comes in with his buddy already drunk with a halloween mask and explains that he couldn't find a present for me but he got himself the mask and then stopped at a bar (before I asked him to cut it out) and got some food. Then he asked if I still wanted to go out for dinner. I told him no. He was already drunk and had already eaten. So he and his buddy go back to the bar. I woke up at some point that night to find him wasted on the couch - having pissed himself. He said "You're looking at my cheating dick aren't you?" And many many other scary drunken things. That's the 2nd time I saw him that bad off - almost scary like he's possessed. I cried myself to sleep and then told him the next day that if I ever see him that way again it's over. So all this began in that 2 week span.

Once I had put my foot down we had 2 weeks of bliss. It was fantastic and we'd never been that close of a couple before. So it's possible.

Then things started slipping again. He was not happy to see me anymore. He stopped asking his friends to stay away Friday because he hadn't seen me all week. He stopped making time for me at all again. The fantastic sex stopped and went back to lame. He had trouble finishing - not staying up - I mean finishing like his sperm count had been wiped out. He quit looking at me again. He quit talking to me again.

He didn't kiss me at midnight like normal New Years Eve. He thought about it about 5 minutes later. He got a call on his cell from his buddies' "Grandma" shortly after 12. Now Grandma is a big drinker and they really have been out with her, but I don't think it was really her. How would she have his cell phone number. The other night I woke up and didn't hear anyone downstairs. I looked into the driveway from the upstairs windows and didn't see any odd cars, but did see some moving lights that I later realized come from someone walking across my front porch with the light on. When I went down to see what he was doing, he said he was looking for a number in the phonebook. He didn't have a phonebook. We were talking in the basement the other day when someone knocked on the basement door - which isn't normal. His friend said "Ah. It's Roy's girlfriend." Well it wasn't, it was his buddy - but why say that? Ha ha - funny inside joke? Come on. Anyhow - he keeps trying to get me into something and then sneaking off to other parts of the house. And then last night I found him alone messing with his phone again at like 4 am.

But again - it might just be all this stress that's making me whacky.

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[> [> [> Re: I'm either retarded or phsyco! -- tg, 12:03:25 01/26/06 Thu [1]

I hate to say it, but dammit the signs are all there. Don't freak out!! I won't say he's cheating, but wandering.
It bugs me that his friends are all single, it sounds like he thinks he's a bachelor.

Have you ever heard the term "a drunken man says what a sober man doesn't".

**I also think he has a drinking problem.** I know what your feeling my husband has been a jerk for years.Now that I don't want a relationship with him anymore, he wants to be a family man. Too Late! He's also seriously in denial, he keeps asking me "is it really over?". My husband is so bipolar and does the craziest things ever. He never settled down. I won't even start on the things he does.

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[> [> [> [> Re: I'm either retarded or phsyco! -- lump, 12:12:59 01/26/06 Thu [1]

And this was the biggest red flag:

I was asking his buddy if he knew anyone for my best friend. Well my best friend is really very heavy. So my boyfriend starts making fun of her. I told him to stop and told him that she has his back and that she like him and he shouldn't do that. He said...and this chills me...

If you don't tell her and she doesn't know I said that then it won't hurt her.

As if that makes it ok.

Still waiting on a call "Did you mess with my cell phone this morning?" Shit. Can't believe I did that!

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[> [> Re: I'm either retarded or phsyco! -- 23, 12:16:10 01/26/06 Thu [1]

I hate to say it, lump, but it doesn't sound good from here. There's no reason to be messing with your phone at 4AM unless there's something going on. And the "cheating dick" comment doesn't sound very promising, either.

And I've told you this before (and you know it's true), you deserve so much better than this. There ARE guys out there that are ready and willing to give you all the time, love and attention that you deserve.

I personally think you already have as many reasons as you need to end it. But that's just me, I expect much more from a relationship. I want a partner, companion, lover, confidant, best friend, support system, someone who makes me laugh, someone who makes me think, all of it. I don't think you should settle for any less.

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