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Date Posted: 08:04:42 04/11/06 Tue
Author: chrys
Subject: can't sleep
so it's 4:30 in the morning and i've been awake for two hours tossing and turning and finally said fuck it. i hate laying there unable to sleep. it hasn't happened in ages. when i lived and worked at that camp, i used to have trouble sleeping around the full moon, pretty much like clockwork, probably because it was so remote that the light would always come in my room one way or another. now where i live, though still outside of town, has a lot more light pollution in general, and there's no direct access to moonlight, so i don't have that pattern anymore. funny though, i do think it's heading towards full.
in general though, i've been getting a lot less sleep lately, i guess i've been pretty wired for the last month or so. i wake up early (like seven, not like tonight) thinking of all the things i need to get done either for the book or the market or the company, and usually have to force myself to lay in bed for an hour, just to relax and have some mind-clearing time. then i have at it. luckily AJ's been coming over every week and staying for a few days, and those days have become my "weekends" because when he's here we just chill, watch tv, watch movies and relax, and i sleep so well, even sleeping till like ten on some mornings. thank god for that.
i think part of the reason i can't sleep is cuz there's almost too much excitement to manage. coachella is coming up in a few weeks, the market is starting the weekend after that, and i got hired last week to work on the art show again this year. the artist's reception for that is the night before the market starts. on top of that i'm trying to move to my own apartment and filling out all the paperwork for that, on top of everything else. is this the busiest month ever or WHAT?!
tonight i'm also stressed. i need to call a copyright lawyer in the morning to get some legal advice about my book. basically, i quote lyrics fairly often, and all my chapter titles are song lyrics, so i have to find out whether that would be covered in "fair use" (meaning it's fine as long as i attribute it correctly) or if i need to seek permission, and if so, who to contact to obtain those permissions. i also have some other various quoted sources that i'll need to ask about. i've been getting very mixed messages from very reputable sources, most notably the Chicago Manual of Style (which seems to say it's fine) and the fair use portion of the site for the copyright office, which seems to say it's up to interpretation and never directly mentions the sort of project i'm working on. so i decided to quit making myself crazy and ask someone who knows for sure what the fuck they're talking about.
and i found one to call, they have a free initial consultation and their office is in "the maynard building" in seattle, and some of their law areas are copyright, intellectual property rights, arts and entertainment, so it seems like a good place to call.
i am just really unsure. have never dealt with the legal world before, so i dont' know what is standard for a first consultation - how long i'm allowed, what to say, how much i can ask in that first consultation. what is proper "calling a lawyer" etiquette? if i like this person (whose name is cinnamon of all things), i will probably continue to work with them, as i'll need to have a lawyer look at my book overall before i go to print, and will probably need to do that for other books that i publish with my company (mine and others) since i'm focusing on memoir, which does raise legal issues.
i also checked out the associated press' style manual and libel handbook yesterday, and photocopied lots of pages from the MLA handbook as i'll have to do a reference section for my book. haven't done that shit since college, and a lot of my sources this time around, are a lot weirder.
so anyway, who the hell cares? i'm just typing to type, talking to talk, cuz i can't sleep. it's that moon in virgo thing again (and again i guessed that before i looked), taking care of all those nitty gritty details. even finally got my taxes done yesterday morning, and that was a big positive, cuz i'm getting a bunch back, woo hoo!
so much to do, so little sleep!
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Re: can't sleep -- Jes, 08:37:54 04/11/06 Tue [1]
Sounds like you have alot on your mind and TONS going on. You can handle it. You rock! :)
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Re: can't sleep -- chrys, 08:47:24 04/11/06 Tue [1]
lol i can handle it, i just can't sleep! i'm hoping staying up and tooling around online will eventually make me tired enough to go back to bed, but i don't feel tired at all. i got tons of exericise yesterday too, walked all over creation, you'd think i'd need some freakin' rest.
someone should create an insomniacs hotline. you know how they have suicide hotlines and stuff like that? it'd be similar but some hotline where if you can't sleep you can just call and talk someone's ear off or something, until you're tired again. they'd have to charge though, cuz i think those suicide hotlines get funding or grants or whatever, hmmm.
i am half-thinking of taking something to help me sleep, either somethign herbal,something like tylenol that will make me tired, or smoking some herb. or else maybe just ride with it and sleep during the day...
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Re: can't sleep -- Jes, 09:03:08 04/11/06 Tue [1]
Camomile girl. Camomile (is that how you spell it?).
You can even stick a couple bags in a bath and it'll calm you.
I haven't been sleeping well either...until it's time to get up! I woke up all night last night, and then slept like a log until 20 minutes before I have to leave my house. I dreampt that my boyfriend's friend was part of Hulk Hogan's family and something about my best friend's car. Yesterday, in my sleep, I thought my alarm clock was a background to a song. It's Springtime on top of all that. :)
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Re: can't sleep -- chrys, 09:09:32 04/11/06 Tue [1]
yeah, spring fever. i just read a numerology report on tarot.com, and it was telling me that april and may are pretty much going to be crazy for me. but i think there could be something in the air too. another friend wrote me an email in the middle of hte night (but before i came online) saying she passed out early and woke up not remembering how she got in bed. i was like, are you sure you weren't drunk? lol.
i have no idea if that's how you spell camomile but it looks right, lol. i have a vast tea collection, i probably have some.
i'm starting to actually feel tired...now htat hte sun is coming up. might try the whole sleep thing again in a few minutes.
any more news on your upcoming "sabbatical"?
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Re: can't sleep -- Jes, 09:16:45 04/11/06 Tue [1]
No, I just went through my manual from work last night to see how much of my 401K they'll keep. I haven't put in my notice yet - and it'll be a long notice - I'm thinking until the end of next month (becuase I'm the only one who really knows how to do my job so I'd train the new person and I don't want to burn any bridges). I'm just trying to decide if I should give them a month and a half and do it now, or wait 'till I get 1 more paycheck and reimbursement and put in my notice at the beginning of next month. I'm afraid honesty isn't the best policy, so I'm juggling the day. This is all that I'm concerned about right now. I will worry about the other stuff later. I know my goals. :) Sort of.
Hope you get some sleep! Sounds like you're just so anxious and full of brain juice that you can't relax. I get like that, too, sometimes.
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Re: can't sleep -- chrys, 09:28:44 04/11/06 Tue [1]
i think you're right that honesty might not be the best policyhere. probably better to wait a little bit. giving long notice is good too. that is pretty much exactly what i did when i quit the camp, i waited to tell my boss, and then gave long notice. it's a good way to phase out, train someone knew, and solidify things for yourself as you're making the huge change. and not burning any bridges is important too, the more you can make sure they will be okay without you and the new person is fully trained, the better it could be for everyone involved, and you want to have this place as a good reference for the future, just in case.
i cahsed out my 401k after i quit, which i'm sure was nothing in comparison cuz i'd only worked there two and a half years, but it did take a few months to process. i don't know if every company is like that, for the paperwork to go through and for them to send the papers asking what i wanted to do with it (either get a check or put it into a retirement fund rollover thing) and then to send the check took three months. also they withheld some for taxes, and some b/c i wasn't 59 and a half yrs old (lol) but then i didn't have to pay anything more on it when i did my income taxes. it was nice when it arrived though, omg, and just in time, i had no idea how i was paying the next month's rent! anyway that's just some stuff to think about, though i think every company does their 401k differently.
another reason to wait before leaving is that now that you know you want to, you can watch your funds more with the coming paychecks.
anyway, it's awesome!
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Re: can't sleep -- carson1, 09:30:52 04/11/06 Tue [1]
Awh, man, Chrys! I'm sorry that you can't sleep! Jes is right, camomille does the trick for me, too. It's weird, I couldn't sleep last night either. Funny thing is, I don't feel all that tired today. Of course, I'm sure after the work day, I will be feelin' it.
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Re: can't sleep -- light, 11:06:46 04/11/06 Tue [1]
I had the opposite thing going on. I think I passed out around 10 at night (no, I wasn't drunk either), and I usually stay up till dawn!
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Re: can't sleep -- carson1, 13:33:01 04/11/06 Tue [1]
I'm going to bed early tonight. You know what I think it was...I didn't read my book before bed. I love to read before hitting the hay, and I just went straight to bed. I didn't take that time to detox the mind.
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Re: can't sleep -- chrys, 02:44:26 04/18/06 Tue [1]
omg you guys, it's getting to be one of those nights again, i can feel it coming on. this time i'm at least tired cuz i'm drunk.
btw jes, i did try your camomile in the bath solution the other day and that seemed to work fine. in fact i was stressed about something, and then the moment i put my hand in the water to test the temperature, i felt it instantly relieved. i am not going to go into too much trouble but this was a physical stress not an emotional one. but in that time i used up all the camomile.
i am starting to wonder if i have a problem. i seemnot to be able to handle all the recent excitement in a great way. i just want to talk and talk and talk and talk cuz i have so much going on it's like i can hardly even hold it all inside. also maybe there is a slight inbalance in how in my "days off" i dn't do anything but lounge around, but then that ends and i'm rarin' to go and like juggling a million appointments and calls i need to make, all in my head. is this normal for working people? all my jobs in the past have been so mindless i've never thought twice of them after work and curse myself when i did. but now, w/this working for myself and needing to do a million things, i'm like, a madwoman.
did i tell you guys this? i am moving on WEDNESDAY. i didn't find out until today, short notice eh? so it's like doing that, getting ready for market, trying to obtain these copyright permissions (decided to just do it rather than asking a lawyer, after i read up on the history of fair use and talked to someone who used to work in music publishing). so far i do have tori's permission, that's why her dad's phone call woke me up this morning. at least i will know all this for next time, and for publishing other people's books. but still pain in the ass, every copmany wants different things. for this ONE pearl jam line i quote (from Indifference), i have to contact three different publishers, grrr!
so there's all that, and getting ready for the market, contracting artwork for my site and other side projects, working on the business edn of starting the publishing company, going to coachella in less than two weeks, and so on and so on. even got a new freelance writing job.
i think i need trangquilizers, lol. last week, esp after my ho sleeping i started makign myself quit working at seven PM and go watch whell of fortune and some other shit instead. even now i was going to go watch south park but here i am typing away instead and the show is almost over. man, i used to say i hated TV or blah blah and so much of IS crap, but i'm also glad for it, as something to relax to sometimes when you need your mind to be stiller, and need something more calming and less engaging than reading. i'm hoping i can get satellite at the new place, cuz there's some great shit on there, and great political stuff too.
doe s anyone give a fuck about any of this? probably not, but any like, semi natural sleeping or calming down advice would be welcome. on my weekend days when my boy is here, i just don't even think about this stuff until it's like he's been here a couple days and i'm like oh shit i need to get work done, and then i start getting irritable. up until that point though, weekends are weekends no matter what day of the week they fall on. when i'm here by myself though and mentally juggling all this, it's almost like there is too much momentum to really stop and rest. i'm being relatively productive but jesus christ, lol. i'm drunk and i'm still this hyper, that is not right.
then again, w/the news of the TOOL show, who *could* sleep?
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