<i>Inside</i> -- ::: Remy and Shay's Apartment :::

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Date Posted: 23:22:05 10/17/06 Tue
Author: Remy
Subject: Inside
In reply to: Shay 's message, "inside" on 23:03:44 10/17/06 Tue

(He could tell that she wasn't ready to let this end yet, and he was okay with that, they had to talk about things or they would have swept it under the carpet - something he was never willing to do. She watched Chase for a moment as the toddler took a handful of his father's shirt and laid his head down, watching his mother with those overly serious green eyes. Remy's identicle brown eyes shifted to Shay then, and he drew his lip between his teeth again as she spoke, hating the little picture she drew.. and realizing that he was sort of pushing himself to cause more pain than he was already feeling.. as if he could black out the emotional pain with physical pain. As if he could somehow make her understand that, he started to talk.. with no real direction in mind.) I've never told anyone this.. but that explosion.. it was meant for me, Shay. I guess it left me feeling responsible for those people.. I wasn't thinking about anything but that until I heard Kyrian shouting for Haylie and then I just wanted to help him find Haylie and then get to you. (His tone was quiet, nostalgic, as if he was seeing it all in his head.. and his eyes had gone sad as he replayed the images of total carnage and heard her crying for him.) I've never been so scared in my life.. and so guilty.. I am the commander of a government agency with unlimited intelligence resources.. and I had no idea this was coming until it was too late to save thirty seven families from loss. (He shook his head, running his hand in a little circle over Chase's back in an unconscious sort of reassurance that he had his boy, a gesture that was making Chase yawn and struggle to stay awake, like he understood the conversation and didnt want to miss out.) I feel that loss.. when I make out checks to husbands that lost their wives.. and set up college funds for children who will never know their father.. it's so overwhelming at times that I guess I thought maybe the physical pain was a welcome distraction.. (He let out a sigh - the equivalent of the weight he felt lifted from him.. perhaps he just needed to get the pain off his chest, let someone else greive with him so he could move on. He looked over at her as she fought her nausea, seeing the almost sea-sick looking expression take over her eyes and pursing his lips a little.) Do you think apple juice might help this time around? (He asked, recalling that Chase's weakness had been - and still was - apple juice.. and there happened to be some in his bottle laying next to him.)

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Replies:

inside -- Shay, 23:35:17 10/17/06 Tue
- Inside -- Remy, 23:44:22 10/17/06 Tue
  - inside -- Shay, 00:11:16 10/18/06 Wed
    - Inside -- Remy, 00:22:02 10/18/06 Wed