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Invert Yourself!
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fuck -- Anonymous, 11:49:04 06/11/01 Mon

me, you, all of it. spit in my face, you don't think i can take it? you do it without knowing it you try to hide it. your every word and gesture says i hate you you are alien i wish you weren't here. by rights i should leave you alone but i cant and i dont and i don't know why.


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michael -- Anonymous, 12:09:15 05/13/01 Sun

i love you. be happy.


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it -- Anonymous, 14:32:18 05/10/01 Thu

fucked me up for 2 days after i heard it. i felt sick. i hated it. i hated. my mind grasped and latched and lurched. as the alcohol wore off i began to fly over the surface of it and began to enjoy it, and not think. i will never think when listening to this album, nor will i remember. maybe i'll never listen to it again. the now is greater than the whole of the past and the past is gone. dead and buried the moment i sobered up.

beautiful. thank you.


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listen -- Anonymous, 08:50:16 05/06/01 Sun

i'm not a psycho *at all* despite occasional appearences to the contrary. i am pretty shy and quiet (except when i'm drunk). i am only a little person on the outside, ever growing on the inside :-) be happy!


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all her own fault -- Anonymous, 16:47:01 05/05/01 Sat

and fault lines change :-)


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such a sad feeble girl -- Anonymous, 16:45:28 05/05/01 Sat

underestimated and unknown in the extreme


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a fine need -- Anonymous, 16:36:42 05/05/01 Sat

a fine need indeed. i can only hope you are not afraid. ------------->primal urge. sacred urge. incessant urge. awakened urge. takes me over fills my belly warms my body invades my mind stops me thinking cos i been thinking that i never that i never would have to grieve the little death the little death now runs beside me ceaselessly. i get so high. it makes me high. i am high. overlooking on the beaches all the people without features in the city telescopic all the features of the creatures and so i fly to outerspace cos i am high now i can fly now and i can see now just where i end in the ether in the stratosphere and i am time with will to bend. take me with you let me cum now into your sacred space for the time and the effort has been so hard now won't you show me your sacred grace. sacred grace bending forward sacred grace touch my forehead sacred grace moving downward sacred grace emits the healing sacred grace i'm dancing slow now sacred grace unto the heaven. sacred grace.


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no need is a good need i have a need` -- Anonymous, 16:23:34 05/05/01 Sat

that rises up in my belly with heat inexhaustible moves down and takes me over close my eyes move my hand take it up into space and i rock to the timeless rhythm of the ages and it takes me and it takes me and it takes me into orbit and i stretch out my fingers and caress his immortal face timeless timeless timeless need


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life is -- Anonymous, 12:11:05 05/05/01 Sat

... and so am i. everything is exactly as it should be.


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**** -- Anonymous, 21:32:56 04/25/01 Wed

Gorecki - Lamb

If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you
Still my heart this moment
Or it might burst

Could we stay right here
Until the end of time
'Til the earth stops turning
Wanna love you 'til the seas run dry
I've found the one I've waited for

All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race

Here is true peace
Here my heart most calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs

Wanna stay right here
Until the end of time
'Til the earth stops turning
Gonna love you 'til the seas runs run dry
I've found the one I've waited for

All I've known,
All I've done,
All I've felt,
Was leading to this

All I've known,
All I've done,
All I've felt,
Was leading to this

Wanna stay right here
Until the end of time
'Til the earth stops turning
Gonna love you 'til the seas run dry
I've found the one I've waited for
The one I've waited for

Wanna stay right here
Until the end of time
'Til the earth stops turning
Gonna love you 'til the seas run dry
I've found the one I've waited for

The one I've waited for

The one I've waited for


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i got it all -- Anonymous, 17:42:43 04/25/01 Wed

really wrong didn't i.


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i just wish i knew why and how -- Anonymous, 17:30:33 04/25/01 Wed

it all happened and how it ended up like this.


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just because -- Anonymous, 17:26:58 04/25/01 Wed

someone helps you to change your life doesn't mean they care. it doesn't mean they see something special in you. i don't know what it means. for me it means i love you for helping and i wish you would stay and continue to be a friend of mine but that is up to you, and perhaps i am not a very good friend to you to begin with. i apologize but i find this whole thing extremely beautiful and confusing and frightening and hurtful all at once. everything i do concerning you is wrong. i don't want to let go of you. i am afraid to let go of you. i am afraid, full stop. a couple of months away HAS to help, because while I love your company i don't like feeling this way - that if i lose you i will be completely alone. i don't want to be completely alone. but maybe if i am completely alone i will see that i'm not, if you know what i'm saying. that is the hard road, but for your sanity i think it's the only choice i have.


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i don't know what i want to say -- Anonymous, 17:16:28 04/25/01 Wed

i hurt i'm ashamed i am confused. i need. all i know is this: in a life that was cold and empty and didn't see any point in its continuing, you brought comraderie, sunlight, love and hope. it meant the world to me. you meant the world to me. you stll do. just knowing you cared or believing you did got me through days when i wanted only to lie down and die. i was happier. people smiled at me because i was open to them. because i believed that if you were in touch with me i was worth something, and somehow that was all the shield i needed to stop the cold coming in. you were my warmth.

i have cried today more than there is water because i have come to see that you don't care overly much. that you initially had right intentions for being in touch but you didn't want it to continue. the retreat whet your curiousity so you came back to see if i was any different but nothing had really changed so you want to leave again because you don't love me, you barely even like me. and when i'm talking to you i feel whole. my whole life has been this way. lopsided. it hurts so much to be rejected. esp. by someone who means the world and stars and sun. i just wish i could stop crying. everything is shit including me and everything is wrong. i forget that just because people are kind to you it doesn't mean they like you let alone love you.


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when the mind is sick -- Anonymous, 20:21:47 04/24/01 Tue

the body follows and vice versa. now tell me something i didn't know


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sick tired worn down -- Anonymous, 20:16:26 04/24/01 Tue

life is


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deep breaths and -- Anonymous, 14:00:23 04/22/01 Sun

perspective, remember? :-) itll be ok.


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"i don't forget that we're just halfway from coal" -- Anonymous, 21:21:32 04/21/01 Sat

thank you for that tolerance.


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looks like i'm going to be offline for awhile -- Anonymous, 21:05:15 04/21/01 Sat

please wait for me.


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btw -- Anonymous, 21:04:08 04/21/01 Sat

i've realized the walls were never there. they were in my own mind :-)


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damn i wish you'd talk to me -- Anonymous, 21:01:09 04/21/01 Sat

about it


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what i hate most -- Anonymous, 21:00:06 04/21/01 Sat

is hearing the interpretations. i find them really difficult to read.


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ie. saturn return -- Anonymous, 20:58:34 04/21/01 Sat

"harder to wake galileo". gee thanks.


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i have to say -- Anonymous, 20:57:03 04/21/01 Sat

i'm not happy with you sending out to the world what i believe to be tantamount to photographs of me at my worst.


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beat the drum -- Anonymous, 20:49:46 04/21/01 Sat

is the only thing holding me together right now. good timing!! :-)


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i love you -- Anonymous, 12:31:47 04/21/01 Sat

you make me face the crap that hurts me most


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music to pack by -- Anonymous, 12:27:11 04/21/01 Sat

home is where i want to be
pick me up and turn me round
i feel numb - burn with a weak heart
guess i must be having fun

the less we say about it the better
make it up as we go along
feet on the ground
head in the sky

it's ok i know nothing's wrong . . nothing
i got plenty of time
you got light in your eyes
and you're standing here beside me

i love the passing of time
never for money
always for love
cover up and say goodnight . . . say goodnight

home - is where i want to be
but i guess i'm already there
i come home - -she lifted up her wings
i guess that this must be the place

i can't tell one from another
did i find you, or you find me?
there was a time before we were born
if someone asks this where i'll be

we drift in and out
sing into my mouth
out of all those kinds of people
you got a face with a view

i'm just an animal looking for a home
share the same space for a minute or two
and you love me till my heart stops
love me till I'm dead

eyes that light up, eyes look through you
cover up the blank spots
hit me on the head

--Talking Heads


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daylight -- Anonymous, 20:57:07 04/20/01 Fri

the sun reflected in the back of my eye
i knocked my head against the sky
the dragon flies are busy buzzing me
the seahorses if we were in the sea.

halfway from coal halfway to diamond.
my fall knocked me and apparently
i'm gathering as fast as i can reach
for perching on the jump
all holding

this is what i see but this is all i want
its all i need this is all i am
its everything.
this is all i want
its all i need.

a bluejay hectors
from the felled catalpa tree
elipses in perfect circles
in past the tree.

the dragonflies are trying to lecture me
the seahorses if we were in the sea.

this is all i want its all i need.
this is all i am its everything.
this is all i want its i need.

beat a drum for me
like a butterfly wing.
tropical storm across the ocean.
i don't explain i'm sure i want to know

i don't forget we're just halfway from coal.

but this is all i want
its all i need.
this is all i am
its everything.
but this is all i want
its all i need.

--mstipe


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now alone -- Anonymous, 11:18:25 04/18/01 Wed

is the only way i know how to be


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i think i let myself be alone -- Anonymous, 11:08:52 04/18/01 Wed

for far too long and something inside got twisted.


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i am so tired -- Anonymous, 10:49:27 04/18/01 Wed


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i question -- Anonymous, 10:46:11 04/18/01 Wed

my capability for ever taking care of my life in any kind of proper way. something is lacking within me that i can't seem to gain or find or get. but that's how i feel right now. it will pass, as always. seems like the waiting is getting harder.


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looking at the world -- Anonymous, 10:26:46 04/18/01 Wed

i wonder if life is worth it. hope keeps us going and its up to us to make it all work. when you seemed trapped by your past and escape seems unlikely you begin to question if it matters to be alive or dead. if making an effort is worth the effort.


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everythings wrong -- Anonymous, 23:59:41 04/17/01 Tue


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everything -- Anonymous, 23:49:13 04/17/01 Tue

hurts like hell


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my cousin tried to scam me -- Anonymous, 23:45:24 04/17/01 Tue

i called her on it and she would not listen. instead she set me up and threw me out. i have 2 weeks. i do not know where i'm going to go. i can't afford to move. i have done the right thing by her in everyway i could think of but still she twisted everything to suit her own ends. i don't know. people have got me beat. if i am to blame for this.... i don't see it.


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wish you'd -- Anonymous, 23:40:53 04/17/01 Tue

understand that blake.


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i am -- Anonymous, 23:38:38 04/17/01 Tue

doing the best i can


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did the right -- Anonymous, 23:36:07 04/17/01 Tue

thing and evil still seemed to triumph. now the most innocent, beautiful man is gone. just life i guess. shit happens. i'm so tired of losing people.


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so numb tonight -- Anonymous, 23:32:38 04/17/01 Tue

i didn't know i was crying until i realized tears were running down my face. what is this state? deadness. it cannot be healthy.


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i don't know -- Anonymous, 23:31:26 04/17/01 Tue

i probably don't *need* them but they make the journey less painful.


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i thought -- Anonymous, 23:28:46 04/17/01 Tue

i didn't need anybody. i believed i could make it as a lone wolf. i can't. it's not how the world works.


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watch -- Anonymous, 06:02:50 04/10/01 Tue

for the li'l yellow man


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someone is -- Anonymous, 05:49:16 04/10/01 Tue

playing with you.


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(((soul))) -- Anonymous, 22:06:29 04/08/01 Sun


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for you and me both *8* -- Anonymous, 22:05:00 04/08/01 Sun

Flowers, kinfolk at last to arranging hands,
(hands of young women, long ago and now), you
who lay on the garden table, often from rim to
rim, weary and mildly wounded
awaiting the water that would revive you
from death, already begun---, and now
lifted again between the streaming poles
of feeling fingers, that have even more power
to do good than you guessed, weightless ones,
when you came to in the jug, cooling slowly
and giving off the warmth of young women
like confessions, like thick, fatiguing sins
the act of plucking brought on, relating you again
to those who ally themselves with your blooming.


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rmr -- Anonymous, 21:48:29 04/08/01 Sun

You, beloved, who were lost
before the very beginning, the one who never came,
I do not know which sounds might be precious to you.
No longer do I try to recognize you, when, as a surging wave,
something is about to manifest. All the huge
images in me, the deeply-sensed far-away landscapes,
cities and towers and bridges and un-suspected turns of the path,the powerful life of lands that were once filled with the presence of gods:
all rise with you to find clear meaning in me,
your, forever, elusive one.
You, beloved, who are all
the gardens I've ever looked upon,
full of promise. An open window
in a country house—, and you almost stepped
towards me, thoughtfully. Sidestreets I happened upon,—
you had just passed through them,
and sometimes, in the small shops of sellers, the mirrors
were still dizzy with you and gave back, frightened,
my too sudden form.

Who is to say if the same
bird did not resound through us both
yesterday, separate, in the evening?
                                   (Paris, winter 1913 - 14)


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RMR -- Anonymous, 21:42:25 04/08/01 Sun

THE PANTHER

His vision, from the constantly passing bars,
has grown so weary that it cannot hold
anything else. It seems to him there are
a thousand bars; and behind the bars, no world.

As he paces in cramped circles, over and over,
the movement of his powerful soft strides
is like a ritual dance around a center
in which a mighty will stands paralyzed.

Only at times, the curtain of the pupils
lifts, quietly--. An image enters in,
rushes down through the tensed, arrested muscles,
plunges into the heart and is gone.


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i am smitten... he's the real thing -- Anonymous, 21:39:40 04/08/01 Sun

FEAR OF THE INEXPLICABLE


But fear of the inexplicable has not alone impoverished
the existence of the individual; the relationship between
one human being and another has also been cramped by it,
as though it had been lifted out of the riverbed of
endless possibilities and set down in a fallow spot on the
bank, to which nothing happens. For it is not inertia alone
that is responsible for human relationships repeating
themselves from case to case, indescribably monotonous and
unrenewed: it is shyness before any sort of new, unforeseeable experience with which one does not think oneself able to cope.

But only someone who is ready for everything, who excludes
nothing, not even the most enigmatical, will live the relation to another as something alive and will himself draw exhaustively from his own existence. For if we think of this existence of the individual as a larger or smaller room, it appears evident that most people learn to know only a corner of their room, a place by the window, a strip of floor on which they walk up and down. Thus they have a certain security. And yet that dangerous insecurity is so much more human which drives the prisoners in Poe's stories to feel out the shapes of their horrible dungeons and not be strangers to the unspeakable terror of their abode.

We, however, are not prisoners. No traps or snares are set about us, and there is nothing which should intimidate or worry us. We are set down in life as in the element to which we best correspond, and over and above this we have through thousands of years of accommodation become so like this life, that when we hold still we are, through a happy mimicry, scarcely to be distinguished from all that surrounds us. We have no reason to mistrust our world, for it is not against us. Has it terrors, they are our terrors; has it abysses, those abuses belong to us; are dangers at hand, we must try to love them. And if only we arrange our life according to that principle which counsels us that we must always hold to the difficult, then that which now
still seems to us the most alien will become what we most trust and find most faithful. How should we be able to forget those ancient myths about dragons that at the last moment turn into princesses; perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave. Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us.

RMR


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**** -- Anonymous, 12:29:42 04/08/01 Sun

"you must love the questions themselves and live into the answers" -- rainer maria rilke (i'll take the rain(er)!) ha ha!


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ok -- Anonymous, 21:08:09 04/07/01 Sat

no more bullshit. just action. i will leave you alone. don't forget me.


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i -- Anonymous, 22:36:31 04/06/01 Fri

was sitting on the ledge when ten japanese took the leap of faith


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and sometimes -- Anonymous, 22:35:19 04/06/01 Fri

not


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sometimes -- Anonymous, 07:11:55 03/28/01 Wed

the light........


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how -- Anonymous, 22:33:19 03/26/01 Mon

does this thing archive?


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last night -- Anonymous, 06:29:42 03/26/01 Mon

i dreamed an old native american indian was teaching me how to tell stories and write.


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cloudy thoughts for a cloudy day -- Anonymous, 13:36:15 03/25/01 Sun

clouds shift and change above me like minds attempting to pin down the unseen. something within is mutating, growing, strengthening. a whipered voice of dissent steadily getting louder, and undercut by so much love and divinity, i am afraid to speak it. it is boxed in by unyielding unhearing walls. the walls of reality. i want to it to break out and roam and live up to its possibilities, to its destinies. i want my voice to shatter the walls and carry into the streets. i want it to make peoples heads turn either in disgust or enlightenment. until the walls are
razed i will never know what it is the voice wants to say. all i can hear of it right now is its profound frustration at its entrapment. it has so much more to say. the saddest part is that i too am part of reality, the walls are created only by me and i have betrayed myself and have now become deaf to my own voice.


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sitting on my hands -- Anonymous, 11:36:53 03/24/01 Sat

can't grasp for anything. i can only trust the wind and utilize her as best i can when she blows. becalmed.


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the -- Anonymous, 11:30:50 03/24/01 Sat

world above the water line will keep me whole.


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the circle -- Anonymous, 11:25:12 03/24/01 Sat

has been completed a second time. this time an outline of foundation has been uncovered. hard to discern but present none-the-less, and sturdy enough to be built upon if focus remains. the work i thought was over and done with is only just beginning. there is no time for laziness. the work must always continue. my resolution is to work hard and not fall asleep again.


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....... -- Anonymous, 23:03:40 03/23/01 Fri

with endurance comes strength. when you felt you had nothing left, and everything to lose it arrives (late of course). it brings its friends silence, focus and clarity (uninvited of course) and they party in your belly, playing charades and telling dirty jokes, making you smile with a gentle reminder that all is never as it seems.


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negative -- Anonymous, 22:54:52 03/23/01 Fri

a bubble sent surfaceward. i ascended once again to the world above the water line. as i walked the peak hour streets gnarled trees reached out their twisted branches, their leaves caressed my face. the birds were nesting for the evening, content in their position the amidst the telephone wires. the sun was disappearing behind the distant green hills, where glances of yellow light identified the farm houses. between scuds of cloud the stars began to appear. points of light so cold and clear they appeared as tiny icebergs suspended in space. still. people in their tin boxes rolled wearily homeward. lennon's imagine wafted through an open window of the house on the corner, its lit window strung with happy birthday in reverse. next door 2 women gossiped conspiratorially as they prepared the evening meal while an old man stood still by the creek staring upward, perhaps watching for mir on it's final downward plunge to the sea. i breathed the evening-cooled air, and remembered that i was amphibious, a creature of two worlds. out of place in neither yet belonging nowhere. i walked across the already dewy grass of the yard, unlocked the door and exited.


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5555555555555555 -- Anonymous, 23:23:21 03/16/01 Fri

caged. escape as far away as you can ever know. stand in the corner your face bereft of colour. for what? chained. so many places you dreamed away. chained, a picket fence and salary. you sink them all down and watch them float up til the wheel has spun around. you will be bound by who you are. bound to the corner. your hope twisted under. if you want to be a passenger climb aboard with me, we're leaving now. step outside and see another world. only if you want to be the passenger.


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999999999 -- Anonymous, 23:14:53 03/16/01 Fri

memories are fading single voice complaining its hardly worth debating the people are frustrating, drink from poison cups. the system is collapsing. conscience is relapsing. the damage has been done. on the day you come. rising up. vision is rejected the peoples choice is tested. so ignorant as one. children are infected. remedies suggested. don't drink from tainted cup. over population. a media sensation. the damage has been done. on the day you come, rising up.


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+ -- Anonymous, 22:57:18 03/16/01 Fri

Morning Theft (J. Buckley)

time takes care of the wound or so i can believe you had so much to give i thought i couldn't see gifts for bootheels to crush promises deceit i had to send it away to bring us back again your eyes and body brighten silent waters deep
your precious daughter in the other room asleep a kiss goodnight from every stranger that i meet i had to send it away to bring us back again morning theft unpretender left,
ungrateful...true self is what brought you here to me a place where we accept this love friendship battered down by useless history unexamined failure but what am i still to you some thief who stole from you or some fool drama queen whose chances were few? love brings us to who we need a place where we can save a heart that beats as both syphon and reservoir you're a woman i'm a calf you're a window i'm a knife we come together making chance into starlight meet me tomorrow night or any day you want i have no right to wonder just how or when and though the meaning fits there's no relief in this i miss my beautiful friend i had to send it away to bring her back again.


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(-) -- Anonymous, 22:50:08 03/16/01 Fri

New Year's Prayer (J. Buckley)

fall in light, fall in light fall in light fall in light.
feel no shame for what you are feel no shame for what you are feel no shame for what you are as you now are in your heart fall in light feel no shame for what you are feel no shame for what you are feel it as a waterfall fall in light, ooh. fall in light, fall in light, fall in light, fall in light, fall in light fall in light, grow in light.

stand absolved behind your electric chair, dancing.
stand absolved behind your electric chair, dancing.
past the sound within the sound. past the voice within the voice. leave your office, run past your funeral, leave your home, car , leave your pulpit. join us in the streets where we, join us in the streets where we don't belong.. don't belong. you and the stars throwing light.

fall, fall. fall in, fall in light. fall in light, fall in light, fall in light, fall in light. grow in light.


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- -- Anonymous, 22:47:27 03/16/01 Fri

Yard Of Blonde Girls (A. Clark)

through the yard, through the yard of blonde girls.
through the river and the sea.
gold sharks glittering.
a tree of white breaks the earth.
the streets where lola played.
very sexy, very sexy.

okay, okay.
fear, we may come. (X 4)

so run, run, run, run, run, run, run.

it's in your heart, it's in your art, your beauty.
even in this world of lies, there's purity,
you've got innocence in your eyes.
even in this world of lies, you're still hopeful.
very sexy, very sexy,
okay, okay.
fear, we may come. (X 4)

so run, run, run, run, run, run, run.

through the yard, through the yard of blonde girls.
through the river and the sea.
gold sharks glittering.
a tree of white breaks the earth.
the streets where lola played.
very sexy, very sexy.

okay, okay.
fear, we may come. (X 4)

so run, run, run, run, run, run, run.


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. -- Anonymous, 22:46:12 03/16/01 Fri

i once was open and one with a travelling heart.
i loved this sweet guy.
just like a fiction rushing in your riverbed.
arise like applause in my head.
and in the half-light where we both stand.
this is the half-light, see me as i am.
just like the ocean, always in love with the moon,
it's overflowing now, inside you.
we fly right over the minds of so many in pain.
we are the smile of light that brings them rain.
in the half light where we both stand
in the half light you saw me as i am i am a railroad track
abandoned with the sunset forgetting i ever happened,
that i ever happened.


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syncopation -- Anonymous, 21:05:42 03/15/01 Thu

its that cold wind on a warm day, whispering of all that should have been. my life through their eye of camera obscura as the queen of all i survey. plotted fields, hospitals and churches, schools and cemetaries. concrete to protect the inconstant spirit. the rhythms of the days sway played out to metronomic timetables of arthimetic and formulae. when nightime reaches the southern fence all is still.

in a field unfenced, i, adorned muddy with briar and thistle, dance to the rhythms of ancient vibration. arms outstretched on the dark earth. i raise my arms to greet the gathering storm. the moon watches implacably through her misty veil as i turn my face upwards to kiss the lightning.


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the world on a string doesn't mean a thing -- Anonymous, 07:28:01 03/14/01 Wed

halting another days long procession into night i hold back the sun with one arm tied behind my back. time stands still. a moment of emptiness wherein even the steady beat of my heart ceases. all is perfection. within this moment i am free and all that was hidden is revealed to me. with one word, one signal, the world falls to its knees. i scoop it up in the palm of my hand and hurl it into space.


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