| Subject: Winter Hills |
Author:
Cricket
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Date Posted: 17:06:32 03/20/08 Thu
Spring is close now..the snow has stopped and grand icicles hang from the eaves of the cabin. I have been here for the winter. Khaless hated it, of course, but I needed air and sunshine, and I find I like the snow now that the cold does not bother me. He has to be content with weaving his webs around me here on the surface, for a month down there was all I could take. I felt as if Eiradium needed the sunshine and snow too..and experience of life on the surface. Khaless seems to forget that he is a "human" child.
My Drow was not easy to convince..but he let the boy spend time here with me at last. If I had known how much responsibility he had put on Eiradium however, I would not have agreed to let the boy stay. I do not seem to be able to get through to Ssinssirrig, that children do not need the pressures of adulthood. They need time to be Just children. I suppose I am not what one would call a fit parent, but certainly neither is Khaless. He is much too hard on Eiradium.
Of course my problems do not begin and end with Khaless and his nephew..my life has never been so simple!
One of the reasons that I came to the surface..and decided to stay here, was that Khaless has put me with child.
I understand now, that the price I paid for my youth is this fertility. Still, I have no pains, I have no aches. My mind is clear and my body is strong. I have patience with Rose (she has come to take care of me), with Eiradium, and with Khaless, that I have never had before. A calm has given me a new perspective on things, and I am enjoying this respite and vacation from the hell life has wrought the last few years. I wonder often though about things..and they plague my mind. My sons. my husbands, my friends. I have an empty place for them.
Rose tells me I am with twins, and that is is because he is Drow and I am human. The seed split, she said, though I cant imagine how she knows this. She says its in the cards.
So, I have spent the last three months here, in this warm little cabin, enjoying what time I have with Eiradium, and trying to give him as much easy time as possible. I had begun to teach him things..to inspire his thought..but Khaless' return reminded me that the boy is Not mine.
I hope when Khaless has two children of his own, that he begins to understand what they really need.
He came back to the cabin once..with that bloody ogre that still owes me 100 gold. I was furious with him, and he deserved what he got. I still cannot believe that he came lurking up like some predator, and forced Eiradium to work so hard at keeping him out. It was unnecessary, and too harsh a lesson for Eirdadium.
He is different somehow..the madness seems to be..not there.
I cannot say it is gone..I cannot say it is dormant..but I cannot sense it at all. Could it really be gone? ..something good finally to come to us both?
Youth has given even my thoughts a hopefulness it seems.
~C~
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