"GFD: PROFILE" - ('MICHAEL') -- GFD: Those Who Crossed Over

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Shared Experience / Minor Possession - Michael has the vampire ability to submerge himself fully into the experience of another person. Through a simple touch, he can create a mental connection that will put his conscious mind into the mind of his target...giving him access to all five senses, emotions, and even has minor access to many of the hidden thoughts within. While it was once believed that his extra stopped at sharing the experience merely as a non-participating 'witness'...it has been proven that he can also gain some level of control over his host's body as well. Lowering inhibitions, guiding thought processes, and on occasion, even maintaining short bursts of physical control as well. To do this, Michael needs complete focus and intense concentration...closing his eyes and meditating in silence in order to keep the connection strong. However, particularly strong links to a host for any length of time can cause multiple relapses for Michael later on. These lingering connections can come and go at random for days, or even weeks, at a time. These flashbacks can be so closely connected, that even the pain felt by his former host can raise bruises on his own skin. Michael is still learning how to effectively disconnect his extra completely once the link has been broken.

"Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening."
-Maya Angelou

Chances are that you won't find Michael running around the lot, having fun or spending time with any of his 'family members' in darkness. To him, he has his boyfriend, Trevor, and that's all he needs. Nothing else. To step outside of that focus could mean losing the one thing that he cherishes above everything else. The one thing that he has spent his whole life searching for.

Michael has only been a part of Bryson's lot for a few short years. In his human life, Michael grew up in a series of orphanages and group homes, moving from place to place, never really being able to put down any roots or have a place to call home. He never knew his real parents, and has no siblings. Because of this, his abandonment issues have created a variety of extreme insecurities in his mind...causing outbursts of anger and jealousy to flare up beyond his control. He's convinced himself that he has almost nothing of real value in his life, so the few things that he does deem important, he is willing to fight tooth and nail to protect. Beyond paranoia, Michael has been known to threaten and even cause harm to the people around him if he thinks his emotional investments are being toyed with. He will not go back to being alone. He'll burn down Heaven and Earth to prevent it...even if it means hurting those closest to him.

Michael was escaping from a local orphanage when Trevor first found him. Michael had been teased, beaten, called names and ridiculed by the other orphans. Lost and alone, it was one final severe beating that caused him to run away and take to the city streets on his own. It was there that Trevor found a needy and disheartened spirit in him, and decided to do what he could to help him out. Partially out of the desire to repair the problems of someone who was going through a similar trauma that Trevor himself had gone through before his crossover. And partially because Michael desperately wanted something to hold on to, and Trevor desperately wanted to be needed by someone else. The relationship between the two was almost instantaneous, and a week later, Michael willingly took Trevor's bite and crossed over into darkness. They bonded so quickly, that while he keeps himself covered up, Michael's still has bruises on his back and stomach from the beating he took before becoming a vampire. A constant reminder of where he came from....and what he has to go back to if Trevor's love were to ever leave him.

Since his inclusion in the lot, Michael has become completely dependent on Trevor's love to make his life even remotely bearable. All of his hopes and dreams rely solely on his boyfriend's attention. Any threat to that delicate balance, no matter how small, has to be challenged and quickly dealt with. It's rare that Michael leaves his side, or even allows him to travel outside of the lot on his own. Gyro's return to the lot, Taryn's lingering presence, and Trevor's new infatuation with Justin, have all become serious issues that he is willing to deal with 'violently' if necessary. As far as he's concerned, the gloves come off when it comes to what is rightfully 'his'.

It was his need to feel loved and special that made his extra what it is. Michael easily becomes envious of the joy and affection of others, often condemning them for 'rubbing his face in it' instead of working to seek love and happiness on his own. He experiences the emotional connections of other people, and tries to recreate that same feeling of companionship with Trevor...but it comes off as forced. Artificial. Something that Trevor has very little need for. While Trevor cares a great deal for his boyfriend, he needs something genuine. Something real that goes beyond mere dependence. Michael's inability to provide real emotion without the fear and anxiety that it will one day abandon and abuse him like everything else in his life...has put a distance between them that they can't ever seem to cross. Is it still 'love'? Or are they simply fulfilling an emotional need to not be alone for one another? It's a question that haunts Michael night after night. He may be scared to search for a definitive answer, as he doubts that it will end up in his favor. So he just stays at his partner's side, hoping to one day matter to him in the way he always hoped he would.

Michael lives in a world that is primarily created in his head. A world where there is always a lurking danger to lose everything that he holds close to heart. A frightening world where he has to fight every moment of the day to keep from being alone. No amount of 'reality' can penetrate it. His mind has trained itself to bend the facts in such a way where his actions are never wrong. He is always the innocent victim in every situation. Period. Anyone who tries to prove otherwise, no matter what evidence is clearly given to him, is instantly denied....and his imaginary world swells up to protect him once again from the truth. To him, anyone who tries to point out his flaws or faults must be trying to trick or manipulate him into letting his guard down. Making him vulnerable. Making him weak. And despite his sensitivity to his own feelings, he can't allow that to happen. His shields go up, and he sees that as an attack. One that needs to be met with equal resistance and fury.

Michael's major flaw is that he is constantly searching for his own self worth and value outside of himself. Instead of looking inward to repair the damage that has been done to him growing up and making the needed changes to fix his own insecurities...he's made the rest of the world the enemy. He's waiting for someone else to prove to him that he's worth loving. Worth keeping around. Worth spending time with. And yet, it is his own attitudes and behaviors that keep this from ever happening.

Michael only shares a few, VERY small, pieces of himself with the rest of the people around him. And yet, he is surprised and saddened when people claim to know almost nothing about him. He's never offered much of his true feelings or his emotions to anyone else. Instead, he selfishly hordes them all to himself...protecting them from exposure and possible harm. Since Michael's little 'world' is so vivid and clear in his own mind, he's seemingly unaware of the fact that everybody ELSE in the lot is completely shut off from that world. They have no idea what's going through his mind unless he comes right out and tells them what it is....something that he's too afraid to do. And so the cycle continues. Any attempts to get close to Michael are met with either a quick temper or a quick withdrawal. In Michael's world, very few are allowed entrance. And only if they're willing to play by his rules, exclusively. Otherwise, the others could consider themselves lucky to even know his real name. Michael isn't willing to offer them, or anybody else for that matter, much more than that. Emotional connections lead to pain, and Michael's had enough pain to last him a lifetime.

Whether he's willing to share himself with the others or not, he's still a part of the family at Bryson's lot. And they are all willing to treat him as such, even if he offers them nothing back in exchange for a true interest in who he really is deep down inside. Except for Trevor, everyone there gets the cold shoulder. And it only gets colder the closer they try to get to his heart. If only Michael could escape his personal 'fantasy' long enough to see that the way others treat him is more of a reaction to his emotionally closed off behavior rather than the cause of it...he might be able to break the pattern of envy and self loathing. Then he could be open enough to find the love and acceptance that he's been looking for. Until then, he remains locked away...emotionally unavailable...and ultimately looking for someone or something 'else' to blame for his profound loneliness in a reality that he no longer wants to be a part of.