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Date Posted: 05:26:15 06/18/07 Mon
Author: Stela Spinola
Subject: Peer editing from Stela to Houssam

Hi Houssam
Your text is very well written and don't present problems with word order,spelling and the like.Thus, the observations I will make are mainly regarding structural aspects.
You chose a very interersting topic for your text, and the examples are well illustrated by the analogies you make.But maybe you are presenting too much information at the same paragraph. sometimes, you are introducing a new idea in the next sentence (try to slow down...).In order to correct it, you could place and develop each idea in a single paragraph.Furthermore, the excessive use of conjunctions makes the reader confused.
Finally, pay attention to the in text citations, that must be followed by the name of the author and the year of publication in parenthesis.
Well, I think that's all I have to comment about your text. The vocabulary uesd is brilliantly employed in the text and the constructions reflect your effort and care in writting it.Good luck, and se you nex time.
Stela

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