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Date Posted: 08:58:04 06/04/07 Mon
Author: Eliel
Subject: Peer editing to Adriana Assis

Adriana,

It seemed to me that your essay wanted to prove why the Scottish ballads are easier to read and to remember. I could grasp it by reading the whole text, but as I observed on the first paragraph, you just entered to the subject without giving your reader any previous idea of what was going to be discussed. In addition, your thesis statement is not clear. So you should revise your introduction in order that your reader has a clue of the subject before reading the entire text.
I am not that sure, but if I had to classify your essay, it would be an argumentation essay, once you give reasons for asserting something about the topic. According to the “briefing” of task three, we were supposed to write a process analysis essay, which was supposed to describe steps of a process.
My comments on the structure of the text and the suggestions folow within the text, so that you can improve the structure of the present essay.


--------------------------------------------------------

Some Scottish folktales have part of their narratives rebuilt by ballad (p) which is a convenient short definition that seems a song and tells a story. Ballad is an interesting instrument to catch the attention of the reader because it escapes from the linear form to poetic and sentimental one. (spelling) Specially in Scottish tales ballad is present (revise it, not clear)[and becomes the story softer to read and easier to memorize]. (What process is intended to be analyzed here? It is not clear.)
The ballad rhythm is the first reason to get the Scottish tale in memory because the reader (verb tenses/choice)[seems sing a song], not just reads a simple narrative. Consequently the story keeps more the reader´s attention. The Scottish rhythm is regular and has a repeated pattern of sounds in its ballad (p) which gives movement in the story and beats automatically in the body who is reading. That is a particular feeling caused by this rhythm what differs from the other narratives.
The other reason to make the reading easier and always to remind it is the refrain. In the ballad the refrain has an incremental repetition, as a cliché, in which a line or stanza is repeated. Some of Scottish finest modern storytellers, such as Alasdair MacLean, Andrew Lang or Elizabeth Grierson include this tool in their tales.
(Is it a paragraph?) A good example from ballad in the Scottish tales is showed in 'The Well O´The World´s End' by Elizabeth Grierson where (revise plural)[a girls] tried to help her grandmother looking for water for her and met a frog on the way and promised to (rewrite)[get marry him]. But, after that, she regretted and tried to kill it because the frog always bothered her and began to sing this song:
"Oh, gie me my supper, my hinnie, my heart,
Oh, gie me my supper, my ain true love;
Remember the promise that you and I made
Down i´the meadow, where we two met."

This refrain is repeated along the tale until the girl sees that the frog becomes a handsome young prince and they got married and she became a princess. By the way, the repetition express the tale as an oral imitation.
However, the ballad in the Scottish tales consists of great elements for getting the story fluently and not hard to keep it in memory. Moreover, the reader has (word choice, this choice is not the best in the context) [more pleasure] in this way than the only linear style.

Source:

CUDDON, J. A. A Glossary of Literature Terms. New York:
Penguin Books, 1979.
JAVIE, Gordon. Scottish Folk and Fairy Tales. London:
Penguin Books, 1996.
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