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Date Posted: 20:04:44 04/15/07 Sun
Author: Leonardo
Subject: Peer Editing
In reply to: Covered by water 's message, "Re: Task One Group Two" on 16:47:19 04/11/07 Wed

Covered by water

Disappearing is a short story about a woman whose obssession with swimming changes her life, (X Take out the comma) since she was a depressive overweight person, and becames (Wvf) much thinner than she was. (V You should use “In the whole story”, no?) The whole story, this woman swims obssessively,and as time goes by, she starts losing weight. The problem is that she is not satisfied about being thin, (P you could use “;” instead of just a comma) she wants to be thinner, and thinner. The self-destruction symptom is back. It reflects she was not a happy woman, (P You should use “;”) her problem was not just all the pounds she carried, it was (Bw/e Maybe you could use “But” instead of “it was”) something else, a low self-steem issue. Beside (Sp) that, she had a husband that was always censuring her, making her feel bad about the way she looked like. It was not just her husband, but also, (X Take out the comma) she (Wo You should say “she also felt”)felt pressured by the society.
In this context of low self-steem, anxiety (P A comma is necessary) and depression, water plays an important role in this short story. Since swimming was the only thing this woman enjoyed doing, water can be seen as an important symbol. Before analising what the possible symbolic meanings are in desappearing, it would be interesting to clarify the concept of symbolism in literature. According to The elements of fiction, “A literary symbol can be anything in a story’s setting that suggests an abstract meaning to the reader in addition to its literal significance...The total context of a story also suggests a symbolic as well as literal reading of the narrative.” Once this conception is provided, it is possible to identify what symbolic meanings are related to water in this story.
Water can be considered in desappearing a symbol of motherhood or protection.As it was said before, the lady felt bad toward her husband, toward the society. Being in the pool would make her feel protected, far away from everything that she would feel diminished by. As the grossly overwieight (Sp) woman narrated, “Looking down that shaft of water I know I won’t fall. The water shimmers eases up and down, the heft of me doesn’t matter i float anyway.” Then, (X Take out the comma) the swimming pool was the place where she felt safe. The water itself, because of this protection, has a feminin tone, like a motherhood. This image of the woman in the swimming pool may be a reference to a baby in a placenta.
Another possible symbol is alienation. Beside (Sp) the fact she felt safe in water, she was also alone there. It was the only moment she could be by her self (Sp) and be who she wanted to.That was all she wanted, (P Maybe you should use :) to be lonely, no one to be mean to her, to say things making her feel depressed. There she could desappear.Since she got thinner, the blondes(that would make fun of her) started to ignore her. She found out that now she really was by herself. Even the lane in the swimming pool was intirely (Sp) hers. She would not make noise anymore while diving (P A comma is necessary) and she would swim silently, as she liked to be in the water. There is a part in the short story that her friend Lettie asks her what she is doing to herself, because she was too thin, and she answers, “I’m desappearing I tell her and what can I do about it not a blessed thing.” Then, (X Take out the comma) The (Cap) woman wanted to desappear, to be ignored, and the swimming pool provided all the atmophere of loneliness and alienation she needed.
In summary, water symbolises both protection(related to motherhood) and alienation. She wanted to be protected from her husband (P A comma is necessary) and society’s disapproval, and the water was the solution. She felt safe swimming, (P Maybe you should use ;) she felt safe in the water. Regarding alienation as a symble, as she said, she wanted to disappear,to be ignored by everybody. The woman did not want to be attacked by others anymore (P A comma is necessary) and loneliness would be the solution. Disappearing was the solution, no one could notice her and the water brought this feeling.

- Maybe you could say who is the author of this short story that you wrote about; Otherwise, the readers may fell lost;
- For me, you development paragraphs and your conclusion are ok.

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Replies:

  • Re: Task One Group Two -- Dina Costa (Peer editing), 18:31:48 04/16/07 Mon
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