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Date Posted: 17:39:23 04/16/07 Mon
Author: Yuri
Subject: Peer Editing to Marina group 6

When a baby learns an idiom, he/she learns from his/her parents, television, music, etc. It’s not different when an adult learns a second language. The common method is learning with a teacher.(#1) In the school, for example. But the more efficient method is learning in a foreign country.(#2)
Saying this, I want to lead us to the material of the learning process. The language. And its changes. Because it changes, every time. Everywhere. And why is that? Because people also change. And the words, expressions and gesture change with it. The culture too. And when I talk about culture, I mean every kind of it.
The plastic arts… is always changing, according to the historical moment, and also changes with the present moment. The music. The literature…And… the language. It changes because people is changing all the time. Their minds, their clothes and their age.
When you learn something, for smallest that it can be, you open your mind. Even if you open just a little bit. It doesn’t matter, because you have opened it. And it won’t ever go back. So… how can with that, a language be the same?
You are not the same person that you were yesterday. You’ve seen a movie that you really enjoyed. Or you’ve read some pages of book that you hate. Or even you have listened a song that it didn’t make any different to your life.
So… you liked the movie. Your language changed. You hated the book. Your language changed also. And that music? You don’t even remember its name. Your language changed too. Of course. Because, when you were watching or reading or listening, your mind were working. And opening. These kind of things makes the language development.
With all the people in the word, and all of them having this kind of intern process, we have a society. This makes a culture. And with that a language. That changes, because of the culture and the society that is changing with it. With the people minds.

(#1) You could put this two sentences together
(#2) You could have developed more the first paragraph. You mentioned the importance of learning in a foreign language but you haven’t describe it correctly. Why is it so important? What are the advantages?
I might be wrong, but the whole text do not defend your first paragraph that contains your thesis statement., you talk about thinks that were not mentioned in the beginning.

In the conclusion you bring a new information, which could not happen. You talk about culture related to the language and so on... these informations are new.

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