Author:
Romeo must die
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Date Posted: 15:18:06 05/26/02 Sun
>Recent studies commissioned by US DOD included one
>likely
>scenario on a nuclear war between India and Pakistan.
>
>Pak army decides to launch a Nuke-missile towards
>India...
>They don't need any permission from their government,
>and promptly launch the missile.
>
>Indian technology is highly advanced. In less than 8
>seconds, Indian army detects it and decides to launch
>a missile in retribution. But they need permission
>from The Government of India.
>
>They submit their request to the Indian President. The
>President forwards it to the Cabinet. The Prime
>Minister
>calls an emergency Lok Sabha (i.e., LS) session. The
>President asks for a quick decision.
>
>In the meantime, the Pak missile failed to take off
>due to
>unknown reasons. Their attempts for a relaunch are
>still on.
>
>Meanwhile, the Indian ruling party is reduced to
>minority
>because a party, giving outside support, withdraws
>support. Therefore, its first task is now to get
>majority. The President asks the PM to prove majority
>within a week.
>
>Meanwhile, an Indian external affairs spokesman
>requests Pak for some bilateral talks, at the
>secretary and minister levels.
>
>Next week, as the ruling party was not able to get
>confidence vote, a caretaker government is installed
>in India. The acting PM decides to permit the armed
>forces
>to launch the Nuclear Missile. But the Election
>Commission
>says that a caretaker government cannot take such a
>decision because elections are at hand and this
>decision might affect the swing of votes in the
>election.
>
>The Supreme Court comes to the rescue of the PM, and
>says the acting PM is authorized to take this
>decision, in the interests of the nation.
>
>In between, one of the Pak missiles successfully took
>off, but it fell 367 miles away from the target on a
>government building at 11:00 AM.
>
>But there were no casualties since no employee had
>reached the office by then.
>
>In any case, the nuclear core of missile had detached
>some where in flight. Pakistan army is now trying to
>get better technologies from China and USA.
>
>US condemns the use of a nuclear missile by Pakistan,
>and
>offers to send its seventh fleet in Indian Ocean.
>
>The Indian government, wary of the move, declines. The
>Indian government finally decides to launch a nuclear
>missile, after convening an all party meeting. This
>time all the parties agree. It's three months since
>the army
>had sought permission.
>
>But this time, some "pro-humanity", "anti-nuclear"
>activists
>come on road against the government's decision. Human
>chains are being made in CA, LA and Washington for
>peace.
>
>Many E-mails are sent to Indians condemning the
>government and mentioning "Please forward it to as
>many Indians as possible."
>
>On the Pakistan side, the missiles keep failing. Some
>time
>they fail to take-off, some time the payload gets
>detached from the missile during flight. Some missiles
>deviate from target due to technical failures or
>high-speed wind blowing over Rajasthan, these missiles
>are neutralized by Pak itself, as these missiles are
>now moving backwards towards Karachi.
>
>A missile (smuggled from USA) is used. Since Pakistan
>army is unable to understand its software, it hits its
>original destination: Russia.
>
>Russians successfully intercept the missile and in
>retaliation, launch a nuclear missile towards
>Islamabad. (Note: Russian missiles never fail.)
>
>The missile hits the target and creates havoc.
>
>Pakistan cries for help. It asks for loans from the
>IMF and the World Bank. India expresses deep regrets
>for what had
>happened and sends in a million dollar worth of soaps.
>
>So in the end, India never got to launch the missile.
>Pak
>never got it right and got themselves screwed.
>
> Indian Diplomacy at its best!
>
> Conclusion reached by the DOD: Kashmir is now no
>longer a
>dangerous flashpoint, and they turn their attention
>towards Osama Bin Laden!
>
> And they lived happily ever after.
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