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| Subject: Baby Boy | |
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Author: Taniazed (Bringer of Light Award) |
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Date Posted: 19:59:29 11/15/07 Thu . Where are your claps baby boy Where are your waves baby boy Where are my hugs baby boy Where are my kisses baby boy Whre are your words baby boy A second child, you may be just late A boy, you may be just late But it's four months on from the expected date Something's wrong I feel it, I don't know what it is But I feel deep within me that something is wrong He's a second child people say He's a boy people say There's nothing wrong people say Are they trying to make me feel better or themselves? There's nothing wrong, his father says Something he will continue to say for the years to come Some things for a father are just hard to accept I see it, he doesn't stop moving I feel it, I want my snuggles I don't hear it, muma just a sound, he is not calling me I taste it, I bite my tongue as his head hits mine Finally, we think there may be a problem says his crèche Finally, council careworker refers Finally, paediatrician agrees Still family and friends try to placate It could be a phase, he'll grow out of it There is nothing wrong Can't they tell that they aren't helping I know there is something I will not ignore it At 18 months no real diagnosis can be made Although he has high hyperactivity Not ADHD the specialist says My boy does have some quiet moments Hyperactive Walks in a pattern Lines up toys Can't interact with other children Speech delayed Headbanging He may be autistic I am told But I have to wait, it can't be told for sure till the age of 4 Early intervention Crèche, main stream kinder with a special needs aid My boy is now 5, it has been proven My boy will live his life Viewing the world in a way that I can never understand We are lucky, he is moderate, His speech improved, he is catching up, though a year or two behind Beyond early intervention No special schools for him But yet he is not the same, he will need extra help to get through childhood I am so happy, he'll grow, he'll have a job, a spouse, a family I am so worried, how hard it will be to get there At times he is so normal, nothing to separate him from other boys But the worries never end No knowledge of safety He escapes, runs away, will not stop to panicked screams I have known terror numerous times Self harm, head banging, two broken windows Hitting out, children just can't understand his personal space To adults a headbut to your temple, the small of the back, the nose Can be excruciating A bad day, can't calm him down Tears flood my eyes He is so distressed, I can't make him better A bad day, I can't cope I need help Physically and mentally, I'm so tired Baby boy, you are so beautiful I wish I could see your world It must be fascinating Your nature is beautiful Everyone loves you But no one could love you more than me I live the bad and the good I see your struggles and your triumphs I will get you through your childhood I'll be there for comfort when you realise in a few years That for you things are not the same One day you will understand yourself You will be able to look after yourself You will want to look after yourself You will fit into the world in your own way But until that day Baby boy, I will be your rock I will be your constant I will never change Baby boy, beautiful boy I would not change you for the world Awarded by Sasha - 15/11/07  . [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |