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Subject: Stationary Bloodbath


Author:
Paul (chosen by Janel)
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Date Posted: 19:35:01 01/05/08 Sat



Stationary Bloodbath

I wrote a letter on scented pad,
Well it was the only one I had,
Lavender paper with frilly trim,
I folded the note, nice and slim,
Tidily, for it was my hope,
To slip it in an envelope,
Then send it off far, far away,
To my friend upon that day,
Yet I had an unforeseen mishap,
When I tried to lick the flap,
The sticky stuff they use as gum,
Tasted like a camel’s bum,
I screwed my face up, in pained distaste,
My wobbly tongue now in haste,
Licking along the rancid glue,
I didn’t know what else to do,
Until I thought I’d reached the end,
One last flick, then off we send,
However it was not to be,
The envelope bit back at me,
A paper cut swift and deep,
Caused the crimson blood to seep,
My friend on hearing a yelp of pain,
Hollered, “ What was that again?”
I tried to speak, but with no success,
My mouth a foaming , bloody mess,
“ I Thut Nye Thung!” I tried to say,
My friend not hearing shouted, “ EH?”
“My thung ith bleebing!!” I did reply,
She looked at me with scolding eye,
“How could you? Oh you are a dope!”
“You’ve got blood upon the envelope”
“Rot abart Nye thung?” came my plea,
The friend she stopped and stared at me,
Her solution to my tongue disaster,
“You’ve got legs…go get a plaster!”


© Paul Osborne 2006

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