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Date Posted: 16:32:40 10/26/15 Mon
Author: Richard (Hoping to help)
Subject: For those who find this website

I've seen a number of posts from people who have stumbled on this site when they did a search for how to deal with a boy who wants to be a girl. One thing that might be worthwhile on here is a thread regarding thoughts, how to deal with it, what to do and what not to do, etc.

I'm hoping everyone else thinks it's a good idea...here goes...(I'm open to your thoughts as well)...

The first thing about how to deal with your boy who is now changing over to being a girl is support. Most important is that they know that those people who love them and care for them will still love them and care for them, no matter what gender they are. Accept them and they will be able to fight their way through the challenges that come. Reject them, and their future is grim. The rate of suicide and other self-harm is high among those rejected. It often helps to understand that those raising the child have done nothing wrong: the child was born with their brain wired as that of the other gender, and there seems to be scientific background for it. Don't blame yourself, don't blame them, just accept it as one of those things in this world you cannot change.

Now you've decided that you're good with them being a girl, now what? The biggest thing a lot of them want is to now live as a female. Some will go over the top with feminine things, they've lived all their life in boy's clothing, now they want to push as far away from it as possible. Still, let them get appropriate clothing for a girl their age, you wouldn't let you eight-year old go out in the same outfit your eighteen-year old would wear. They will want typical female clothing; panties, bras (for older children), skirts, blouses, dresses, shoes, all the things you might buy a girl will be wanted.

Let them wear the clothes and get experienced in them. Older children will take some time getting used to it; they never had to worry about showing their undies when sitting down before! Gentle tutoring is always helpful. Younger children are often accepted when they don't sit properly, etc., so it's an easier transition.

Even though they have the clothing, it may not be good for them to announce their feminine side to the world. Great strides have been made in acceptance of transgender people, but there are still plenty of bigots in this world that might hurt them. Their peers at school may give them some great support, but may also be the source of the most cruelty. Many new girls choose to go 'stealth' mode, looking like a boy for school and other places where they get recognized and letting their girl side out the rest of the time. Often, a family will move so that the child can go to a new school as a girl, a new place where nobody knows them as their former gender.

An important part of helping your child is to get them into a proper professional. Find a doctor or psychologist that specializes in gender issues. They will be able to make sure a proper diagnosis is in place and help begin them on the road to transition. They are able to prescribe puberty blocking medications to prevent the onset of secondary sex characteristics (what girl wants broad shoulders, deep voice, etc.?), especially helpful for those children who are unsure about where they fall on the gender spectrum.

Later in life, there will be hormone regimens and discussion of reassignment surgery, the doctors and psychologist recommendations are an imperative to have those happen.

It's a rough road and a challenging one, but the support you give your child will allow them to thrive through all the adversity.

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