Author:
Telcoltl
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Date Posted: 19:15:03 01/20/11 Thu
In reply to:
Elijah
's message, "hello pot, meet kettle." on 15:11:13 01/20/11 Thu
really ought to stop using this until its
fixed but oh well
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"Oh MY FRICKIN' ROAST VANILLA BEAN!"
Telcoltl's shout silenced the entire room. Baristas and tweens looked at him in alarm, mother's pulled their children closer, and business men hesitated on their calls. Even the guy at the drive through window peered in at the scene.
"THIS MAN IS A MANIC!"
He waved wildly to Elijah.
"Why WOULD you PURPOSELY spill MY COFEE!!!! It's JUST COFFEE man! THERE is NO need FOR this VIOLENT behavior!!! In ALL my LIFE!!!!"
He moved back from the puddle of streaming coffee and held burnt fingers to his mouth.
"You have to ORDER it and wait LIKE everyone ELSE!" His voice was irrational with alarm.
"Just because I waited for TWENTY MINUTES! gives you!!! NO RIGHT!!! to threaten to steal mine!!! and when I said NO!!!! the horror! YOU SPILL IT?! Is this some SICK game of yours?! HAVE YOU NO MANNERS! WHAT WOULD YOUR FATHER SAY!!!!!!!!" Telcoltl screamed the last sentence so loud at the manager, in his snazzy "I'm important" attire came nearer. "I HAVE NEVER!!!!!!! YOU ASSAULTED ME!!!! THIS STRANGER ASSAULTED ME WITH MY OWN COFFEE!!!!!"
He played on the drama so thickly that Elijah could have sliced and served it. He was playing up the injured angle so well that the act was seamless. The mothers looked at Elijah with disgust, a businessman "tutted" under his breath at Elijah's actions. The manager? Well, he shook his head slowly side to side before stepping forward to take Elijah's elbow.
"sir, we're going to have to ask you to leave. And Mr...."
"Mr Telly." Telcoltl supplied past burnt fingers that he nursed.
"Mr. Telcoltl. We'll order to another. Jenna- what was this gentleman drinking?"
She supplied Telcoltl's drink again (though in truth it had already been made some time ago) and smiled at the beautful blonde. "That's right, dear. Thank you. I think I'm going to need some burn ointment. I won't hold the establish reliable for one CRAZY!!!!!!! man's actions. Pleas see to it, sir, that this man is NOT allowed near CHILDREN!!!!"
"Yes, Mr Telly. I'll escort him out now." And he indicated the door to glove-less man, who's watch was indeed unscathed. His face was pulled tight in an unwelcoming frown. "Sir, I'm asking you to leave. now. and please do not return. Starbucks does not tolerate this type of behavior. Never in all my years of management have I ever seen such an act of desperation."
The innocent but idiot bystanders applauded the manager, who name tag read "TIM". He moved so his body was between Telcoltl and Elijah and firmly moved forward to chase Elijah out. Behind him, Telcoltl gave a friendly little goodbye wave and took his new drink from the smiling-like-an-idiot Jenna. Planning was always the biggest part of any scheme. And so a little shameless flirting with Jenna had indeed paid off. He shrugged out of his coat and put it into a bag that another girl was offering him. ..."This coat's a piece of crap anyway. No harm done...now...for that ointment?" He merrily took a biscotti that Jenna offered him comp. It was a marvelous day, right?
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