Author:
Candice (fascinated/concerned)
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Date Posted: 19:29:07 04/14/12 Sat
In reply to:
michele
's message, "Re: This is disturbing on so many levels, and yet..." on 07:46:24 04/12/12 Thu
I just thought to look here again and saw this response. I thought it would be ignored as there are more interesting stories being posted here.
I've gone back and fourth on this subject in my mind for years, but my warning is valid. It's one thing to have a boy who wants to be a girl, but if it isn't in them there will be problems down the road. I think it's possible to train them to accept it for a while, but in the long run you're still asking for trouble, a lost relationship or maybe they decide they just don't want to live anymore.
Gender Dysphoria is a very real thing. Those that do want to transition still battle inner conflicts. Even the most "passable" can decide to take their own life one day. You wouldn't think that would be the case for those girls, but it is. It matters not how you look. And, let's not get into the very real issue of violence against trans women. We don't have Trans Day Of Remembrance and Trans March, the latter of which I proudly have participated in three times, for nothing.
As for conflicted, I still am, and I'm doing everything I can afford to do to transition. It may not be as much as some, but I say it's better than nothing. I have conflicts, like telling my dad when he's one of the very few people close to me in my life. I know he sees my changes, but we haven't talked about it.
Further conflicted, the whole idea of force feminization is something I used to think about a lot when I was a child of ten or so. I have no idea where that came from. It scared me, but I wanted it. Had it happened to me, I might have resisted like you're supposed to at first, but I don't think I could have for long. I really did want it. Especially if it was done with love and not hatefully.
So the conflict is there, sure. I can admit I would have been one of hose boys who would have wanted it, but I still see this maybe isn't the right thing to do unless the child is expressing that by getting into clothes himself or in other feminine actions mothers may notice. Even then, a therapist is out there to talk to. If it is a real gender issue, that by all means, help the child and bless you for doing so.
But, this world is messed up enough as it is (not all men's fault either) without adding to a person's struggles. Being transgendered isn't easy, but when you know that's who you are you have to pursue transition.
As for my mother, she hasn't been in my life for years, since I was about nine. I was close with my sister over her later years before she died. She would have been somebody I could talk to had I had the guts to. I know she would have been there for me, but it's too late now.
So, maybe I'm conflicted in that I can only afford to do some of the tings I feel I need to do to transition, and I've had nobody to help me through, but I am okay. I do what I can. As far as being able to pass. I do get maam'ed a lot, which I love, but I'm nowhere near where I want to be. I hate the term passable. I try for presentable. I no longer try to "pass" as a man in public, and if people clock me as a guy when I'm out, so be it. I'll just keep trying to be myself and be as feminine as I can be.
I'm okay. As I said, I stumbled across this site and found it interesting. It wasn't exactly what I was looking for, but it was very interesting. I don't really believe a lot of what I read here is really happening in those people's lives, but there's nothing wrong with a little fantasy and role play if that's what you are into. I also believe some people are really living the things discussed here.
Anyway, I typed too much, so I'll end it here. Thank you for the response. Hope I answered your questions.
Candice
>Candice,
>
>Your thought provoking post deserves a response and
>I'm sorry I didn't notice it before.
>
>While I agree with some of your conclusions ("Force
>feminizing them? Wow, just wow. To those doing that,
>and I don't doubt a few posters are really doing that,
>you'd better beware. It could come back to haunt you
>legally or with the loss of that loved one some
>day."), it's pretty clear from the way your post goes
>back and forth that you go back and forth.
>
>To me, it seems you have an inner conflict with
>feminization yourself. I hope you can resolve it.
>
>Plenty of youngsters fantasize about being the
>opposite sex and some of us act it out more than
>others. How did your mom treat you? She clearly didn't
>feminize you. Did she ever know you had girly
>thoughts? If so, how did she react?
>
>Mike
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