| Subject: Real Chirstianity 101 |
Author:
mredd
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Date Posted: 02/ 1/03 3:24am
In reply to:
huggy
's message, "what non christians do" on 01/29/03 3:17am
>This is my understanding of what Christians think
>non-Christians do.
>
>Bob sits in his sloppy house full of empty beer cans
>and pizza boxes, watching hard core pornography. On
>Friday night he gets out of the house, smoking and
>drinking in sin. He meets a large breasted woman at
>the bar, they go home and screw without protection.
>Saturday night Bob goes out to the bar, finds a woman
>at the bar with a nice ass, they go home and screw
>with abandon, and no protection.
>
>The large breasted woman goes "Damn, I'm pregnant
>again!"
>and dials the abortion clinic on speed dial. "Hi It's
>me again. I'm so irresponsible. let me have my 15th
>abortion."
>
>The woman with the nice ass realizes she's pregnant
>and says "Well, there's no way in hell I'm going to
>carry some little snot nosed brat for nine months and
>raise him alone. I'm a sinful, immoral slut who
>spreads my legs without thinking. I don't use birth
>control or condoms because I'm too busy selling drugs
>to minors. I guess I'll get my 15th abortion. And
>while I'm at it, I need to stop by Evil Planned
>Parenthood and get my herpes medication."
>
>Then Sunday night, Bob goes to the bar, decides he's
>had enough of women, finds some cute gay guy and goes
>to get anally probed.
>He starts feeling sick after a few weeks and realizes
>he better go get an HIV test. "Boy, Now I have HIV
>from either my unprotected ass fucking or my
>unprotected fucking of many strange women from a bar
>whose last names I was not aware of. I bet this is
>God's way of punishing me, for being such a dirty
>drunken slut."
>
>And then there's the serial rapist abortion doctor who
>tries to get more patients by impregnating 16 year old
>sinners.
>
>Amen.
Dear Huggy,
Let's spend a few minutes in my house.
5 am Get up and drive an hour to work.
9am Seen two gunshot wounds and a missed AB already. Gulp a cup of coffee and get on to the 49 snot nosed kids waiting in chairs.
11 am. See a 14 year old raped by her step father. Schedule the clinical exam with the parents calling you a bithcin assed whore.
12 noon Lunch. Actually had time to swallow it.
2pm Explain to the very nice 89 year old gentleman why his wife of 60 year won't last the night.
3 pm Tell the 39 year old diabetic patient with a blood pressure of 220/110 why she should terminate her current pregnancy.
6 pm Three codes and two squads later you take time to piss.
8 pm. Get home Toss out pizza for the kid and the spouse. Tell him you're too damned tired. Go to sleep and thank God that this was not a bad day. You lived and most of the patients did too. No blood or guts on the scrubs or in your hair. Pray to God for an answer. Best response, look in the mirror. If your off tomrrow, toss back a 6 pack of Coors and crank the AC/DC wide open. The Camaro will be in the drive way in the morning with the doors wide open and all 8 cylinders singing.
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