Becoming Michele Part 5 -- boys wearing dresses

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Date Posted: 19:48:49 09/27/11 Tue
Author: Michele
Subject: Becoming Michele Part 5

About a week or so before 7th grade, I got sick. I couldn't keep down food and shook like I was freezing. I didn't have a fever, no other symptoms. I was terrified. School. I didn't want to go back. The way it worked in our town, several grammar schools fed into two middle/high schools 7-12th grade. Mom pulled some strings and got me into the school that wasn't normally fed by my old grammar school, so I wouldn't know anyone and, better, they wouldn't know me.

I had a different attitude going into 7th grade. I really did not want to go back into my cycle of acting out. That summer was the first time I ever had real friends. Children who wanted to be with me and have me around for more than the show I could put on. I knew that none of the boys I used to hang with were really my friends. None even liked me very much. Sis's friends liked me and you can tell the difference easily. I just had an awesome summer where I actually found out that I liked me too, or to be more accurate I liked Michele. I just wished I could stay a sister all the time. I wasn't quite through the sister-not a girl thing but that would happen gradually over the next eight to ten months.

I had to get Michael out of the attic. I hadn't quite grown out of the clothes over the summer and I was glad that I didn't have to go shop for Michael's clothes. After that the few times that I needed something for Michael, I would shop with Mom as Michele. Funny how no one looks twice at a girl looking through the boys section. I think Mom would have bought me boys underwear if I had asked, in fact I'm positive she would have, I never asked. A small part of me had taken to heart what Sis had said about why do I care what others think. The only person I really cared about what they thought was Sis.

When I entered 7th grade, that's when I started down the road of becoming the real woman Michele. I entered knowing I didn't want the kind of friends I'd had. I knew I was Michele the sister and that was who I wanted to be. I was Michele as soon as I was out of school doors, at home, at night and in the morning as put on my panties and knee socks and grudgingly pulled on Michael's trousers. School could be horrible, but looking back it wasn't all that bad, although sometimes I made myself think so and feel like it was the worst ever.

Mom of course watched me closely all summer and she realized that Michele was a very well adjusted girl, or could be. She knew there was a decision for her to make. Whether to continue my vitamins, or let nature take its course. To say she was apprehensive about what school would bring in my behavior is an understatement. She waited for a few months and then made her decision that I was meant to be Michele and that she would do everything in her power to see that I would be happy. During the month before school and those first few months of school I remember now that I seemed to have a lot of alone time with Mom. Since she explained it to me I realize that these were sessions. We'd gone through enough talks that there really weren't any secrets between Mom and I, except kid stuff like I actually do know who broke the Christmas salt shaker and her name starts with L and ends in Y. So I had the freedom to tell her exactly how I felt. Mom never asked me if I wanted to take hormones and become a woman for the rest of my life. How could a twelve year old answer a question like that. Instead she had me talk about being a sister how the kids at school were affecting me, stuff like that times 100. During one of these talks I remember telling her how I wished I could be Michele(the sister) all the time. “All the time?” she asked, “for how long” “All the time” I answered. “even when you're older?” I told her I would “always be Linny's sister”.

Mom also saw how I resolved I was that I wasn't going to pretend to be a tough guy anymore. Its very important to understand that at twelve years old going into the seventh grade *I decided * I liked Michele more than Michael. I didn't ask for the boys underclothes. Why should I, I hated the thought of being completely Michael more than I did for worrying about one more thing to be ridiculed for, I gave plenty of other reasons. I was humiliated, scared sometimes and relapsed on occasion. I still had some punishments to endure. I had to go to dance lessons;-( There were school officials that were on my side to a horribly embarrassing degree. There were other school officials that I upset their worldview to the extent that I had to be very careful around them. I figured out that Michele was more than a sister. All of that is for future posts. I want to tell of how Mom decided it was her job to make sure I became a real girl and how Linny helped and made it fun. I want to add that Mom was right - it was her job. It worked out very well if you ask me.

Michele

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