I wonder... as I wander... -- The River

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Date Posted: 00:58:50 12/20/03 Sat
Author: Jysulehn
Subject: I wonder... as I wander...
In reply to: Erashun 's message, "((river's ghost))" on 07:59:15 12/14/03 Sun

The broad muzzle tilts to such an angle that her golden gaze meets the white's within the serenity of the river.

"And yet, what if that which one wants to change is not so much part of oneself, but something carried from generation to generation. A hold of sorts, upon the mentality of all who are like that one, a creation of some inner demon that cannot be destroyed."

The red ears fall, golden eyes rising.

"Redwood was chosen to be the true Original for our kind, and yet I see so much greatness in those who do not carry her colour! The red's lust for blood blinds us, and carries our soul away from our body, returning it only after it's demons have completed their will with the tattered shell."

Jysulehn looks away, her paw raising to her muzzle.

"With these jaws I broke the neck of a child. And yes, I was fighting for my pack, and yes, the cub would have killed me had I not killed him... but mri'qua... I did not realize what I had done until I was staring at the carcass of the youth, mutilated and destroyed beneath my blood-stained paws! I held no respect for him as my opposition, I didn't even stop to think about his thoughts and dreams, he was no more then an object to me when I stole his life away from him. And I hate that I have become... Not Korat but an animal who does not speak. There was no thinking or feeling within my actions, just the obediance to the primal urges of an ignorant beast."

Jysulehn's golden eyes hover at the edge of the water for a long moment, and finally her powerful body turns to face the white, her broad muzzle tilting up towards the massive white, causing the tattered knots of rebel-mane to shift across the small of her back.

"I want to be more then my colour. I want to be like the Warrior Mother herself, able to use her raw power with the quick wit of her mind. I want to think, to feel, and to be more then just Jysulehn, the Warrior... but Jysulehn, the Philosopher, the Listener... the Dreamer..."

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((tattered fog over the rapids)) -- Erashun, 10:57:21 01/11/04 Sun